Age gap relationship where is it going. 61.2. to 42

[Petragg]

I have been good and been working on improving communication with X instead of chain-casting.... and the results are good There's a return to light banter of the early days though I am still the one to initiate the conversation, but not always and he responds promptly. I had an issue on my bike and he immediately offered to fix, we went for a drink after and I could see from his body posture that he is much more relaxed around me (at one point he would be so closed up I wondered why he is still hanging around!) Generally his attitude towards me and texting etiquette has improved considerably - in response to my lighthearted approach no doubt. So in confirmation that I am on the right track for building a lasting relationship of mutual trust and support I asked:

Which direction is relationship with W going?
And got 61.2. to 42
I see this truly as a confirmation that we are becoming in sinc with each others moods? That because I approach him in a benevolent way and sincerely he responds in kind and with that there will be opportunities to 'share the wine'?

I would like X in my life in any capacity but I can't deny I still want him as my lover so I have asked:

What is the outlook for X and I to become lovers?
And got 14UC
which I interpreted as highly likely but just to be sure I asked:

Prospects for a sexual relationship with X?
14.2.6. 55
Sounds a bit too good to be true! So I asked

How does X perceive me?
50.2 to 56
Well I am cooking up my new life and I am certainly difficult to pin-down at the moment! All is in flux

And lastly, what should I do about X?
54.1.5. to 47
Makes sense, we both got a lot going on that deserves our full attention. So basically humbly persevere, be content with being in the background and the situation will improve with time, but what with the 47??

I would appreciate any comments and alternative interpretations?

Thank you

Here's the link to previous thread for background info https://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/friends/index.php?threads/age-gap-relationship-11-5-to-5.30506/

 

[Matali]

Hello, you again with your man
So I still see two relationships... especially with 14.2 and 54 : many women in the prince's car...

 

[Petragg]

Hello, you again with your man
So I still see two relationships... especially with 14.2 and 54 : many women in the prince's car...

Hi Matali, yes again... but I won't bother anymore.
Out of curiosity, what do you mean by your comment on line 14.2? As far as 'other' relationships go it is more the other way around - I'm the one with many men in the car! So I am questioning; should I focus on developing relationship with him or give some other guy a chance.

Anyhow, I've made the decision to stop consulting IChing and just go by instinct.

 

[Matali]

Hello Petragg
First you don't bother at all... I like to "try" to decipher Yi...
And in relationships, it's very complicated to make it clear when there are a lot of people. And I could never tell you if one man is better than another because it is you, your intuition and your instincts who can know...

You say that it is you who propose a meeting, maybe let him come to you to see...

When I see all the results, yes I see different situations :
14.2.6 - 55: in "abundance", there is you with your lovers...
50.2 -56 : It's a great line that means you have someone who's a great person for you, but only you can know who it is... Here I see a relationship that is already formed...
54.1.5 - 47 : it is a relationship in which a person is put in the background, but it works despite exhaustion and perseverance.

 

[Petragg]

Hello Petragg
First you don't bother at all... I like to "try" to decipher Yi...
And in relationships, it's very complicated to make it clear when there are a lot of people. And I could never tell you if one man is better than another because it is you, your intuition and your instincts who can know...

You say that it is you who propose a meeting, maybe let him come to you to see...

When I see all the results, yes I see different situations :
14.2.6 - 55: in "abundance", there is you with your lovers...
50.2 -56 : It's a great line that means you have someone who's a great person for you, but only you can know who it is... Here I see a relationship that is already formed...
54.1.5 - 47 : it is a relationship in which a person is put in the background, but it works despite exhaustion and perseverance.

Hi Matali,
thank you for bothering

When I wrote that I meant more not bothering with posting here as I do not get much of a response in terms of an alternative view. And since I do not have much experience in interpreting perhaps I should stop casting all together and insted finding the answers in real life, with real interaction. I won't say that consulting IChing has been altogether fruitless as it has helped me deal with a lot of my own internal struggle, but I think that is the extent of it - help in understanding my self.

Thank you again Matali for caring enough to share your isight

 

[diamanda]

Hi Petragg, I'll give it a go with your readings.

Which direction is relationship with W going? 61.2 > 42
The eldest of you is calling out and the youngest is responding.
Mentioning this because you said there's an age gap.

What is the outlook for X and I to become lovers? 14UC
Because it's unchanging, nothing much will change in your situation.
Or, this is about financial gain and who is the richest female (see below).

Prospects for a sexual relationship with X? 14.2.6. 55
One of the two of you is going away and finding heaven elsewhere.

How does X perceive me? 50.2 > 56
One of the two of you has got a nice sexual relationship and the other is jealous.

And lastly, what should I do about X? 54.1.5 > 47
He is prone to choosing the partner who is most financially beneficial to him.
That's what matters to him. Beauty and youth are pleasant to him, but he prefers material advantage.

Quite a strange situation by the sounds of it.
If I were you I'd choose anybody else except this materialistic guy.

 

[Petragg]

Hi Diamanda,
thank you for your interpretations, would be helpful if you expanded a bit more how you came to them. Specially since they seam to highlight X's character traits that are in contrast with my experience of him so far?

 

[rosada]

What direction is relationship with W going?
61.2 You have a sincere and enjoyable friendship and it seems to be increasing.

Out look for becoming lovers?
14. You possess a great outlook.

Prospects for a sexual relationship?
14.2.6 - 55.
Very positive. 55 does emphasize following something through to the very end to receive the benefit which makes me feel to add the warning that while it does appear the ic is reassuring you that you could create a romantic relationship here it may also be saying to take it slow as it may be that what you come to ultimately realize is that he makes a better friend than fling. 55. Describes something arriving at it's ultimate potential so I wonder if a sexual relationship might turn out to be just that when what you are really aiming for is a long term connection. Potential for a one night stand - terrific. For a long term commitment - well, that's beyond the scope of this question.

How does X perceive me?
50.2 - 56 He recognizes that the two of you alone together get along very well but he at the moment he also realizes he, and probably you both, are going to want to Travel On and explore larger worlds. So it's fine for now but no binding commitments.

What should I do about X?
54.1.5 - 47
Be prepared to hang in there as a friend and get to know and like each other as friends. Eventually it may be something more but to try to turn him into a lover from where you are now could be exhausting.

 

[diamanda]

Line 54.5 is about a man who desires a young and pretty woman, but instead marries a 'princess' (a woman with money and status). Such men never openly admit or show to you that they're a gold-digger, so I can see how he has never told you that this is what he's after.

 

[rosada]

Hilary describes 54.5 as indicating a person who is in a lower position - the second wife - rising up to first place. This could manifest as someone who might not be the first choice getting their toe in the door and eventually being rewarded. Thus I'm seeing it as advising that as far as what you should do about X you should stay close enough to keep track of him but like a person waiting in line it's not good strategy to push. Hang in there! The resulting hexagram, 47. Exhaustion, seems to warn either that making a great effort to speed things up could be exhausting. It could also be an indication that relationships in general have to take second place to his other responsibilities right now.

 

[Petragg]

Hi Rosada,
yes this resonate more. Romantic relationships right now take the back seat in both our lives. He promised he will take me for a bike tour before the end of the season so I guess I shall see pretty soon ...
Will post updates as things evolve.
Thank you!

 

[Petragg]

Line 54.5 is about a man who desires a young and pretty woman, but instead marries a 'princess' (a woman with money and status). Such men never openly admit or show to you that they're a gold-digger, so I can see how he has never told you that this is what he's after.

Hmm. I see your logic. Would it make any difference to your interpretation to know that his mother is an olympic and multiple world champion and that he tried to follow in her footsteps with reasonable success but nowhere near her accomplishments. Also his father is a long standing mayor to a small rural town but with considerable political clout... I do believe he feels the need to satisfy his parents expectations - real or imagined as they may be.
Thank you tho for elaborating on your answer.

 

[rosada]

Ah, maybe the 56. Traveler is a reference to you two going on a bike trip!
Thanks for the feed back.

 

[Petragg]

I’ve put my social (read love) life on the back burner this month as I’m workings on organising an event and the kids are back to school. So last night I had a brief exchange of stupid videos with X. Something we do often when we are both too overworked.
So after I asked the questions:

What do I need to know about myself in relation to X?
21.5.6 to 17
I read this as; through modest perseverance i will acheive something of value but it may be something that at this point I cannot even envision as I am still shutting my eyes to the truth.

What truth am I refusing to see regards X?
37.1.5 to 52
I felt the answer could not be more clear! He is very protective of his family - I had opportunity to observe many times - and he perhaps sees me as a threat? Or I will have to proove mysel over an extended period of time that I can be trusted to behave “appropriately” in order to be accepted in the inner circle?

I remember when I was his age and I saw family acceptance and their approval of my life choices as a gateway to personal happiness. It took me many years and a broken marriage to realise tha it is the other way around! Perhaps that’s the stage where he is now and I should just honour him needing to work through it in his own time by keeping still?

thoughts anyone?

 

[Petragg]

Update

Althoug the situation with R is still ongoing there is a definite feel of a cycle closing and another one begining. It has to do with the way this year blew everybody's plans up in the air like a toddler having a giant tantrum, it has to do with me finally getting my house and my hormones in order and generally getting used to this "new reality" to the point where I feel confident I will eventually find my way in this new landscape professionally and emotionally.

In terms of how things plaid out with R, @diamanda interpreded 14.2.6. 55 as there being another woman in the picture which was right. Shortly after my last post I found out he is seeing a local girl (he went home for the summer to finish his MA project). I found out when I saw pic of her on a bike trip I was hoping we would take together and I was absolutely livid! After that I decided to break the connection altogether and we had no contact for close to 2 months.

As mentioned before ours is not a random connection that I can just drop and move on. We are strangely linked in many ways including professionally to his family so eventually I had to break the silence because I needed his and father's help and support on a project proposal.

Since reestablishing contact we have exchanged very friendly and "balanced" communication. There was initially an acknowledgement that we need to talk our issues through but now is not the time. During my visit at this house to discuss the details of the project I felt welcomed not at all aqward sitting at the table with him and his parents. This resonates with the 37.1.5 to 52, where I saw him use silence as a way to protect his family from me as a potential threat to their peace and their good opinion of their son? But this also reflects well me taking time off from this tortured connection to concentrate on my family and bring things in order at home?

The discussion even brought in evidence how likeminded R and I are about certain topics and world view which again confirms line 61.2. as @rosada interpreted it : "You have a sincere and enjoyable friendship and it seems to be increasing."
So I would say @rosada interpretantion of 54.1.5 - 47 looks to be spot on "Be prepared to hang in there as a friend and get to know and like each other as friends. Eventually it may be something more but to try to turn him into a lover from where you are now could be exhausting." and @Matali also " it is a relationship in which a person is put in the background, but it works despite exhaustion and perseverance."

I have since done a few more casts which I will post in a separate thread.

Thank you all who contributed their insights, you have helped me more than I can express and I hope you will be willing to help me shed some light on these more recent casts too.

P