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Are any of these options good solutions?

MeltingPot247

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Hi all,

Having felt like I’ve endured many struggles over the years… more so with the physical loss of loved ones - I had started to think of alternatives to joining them on the other side.

I’ve lived life on a whim majority of the time, always moving and go,go,go. No stability growing up, I experience age regression and mood swings during periods of high stress or shock/trauma.

The most significant loss to happen, is that of my sister passing.

I had been given advice from a family member to celebrate and honour my sister by living my life for me, her and everyone we love… not to focus on the grief - and I know/believe my sister wouldn’t want me to do that either - she was strong, tough, funny, beautiful and kind - she saved my life many times as a child.

In order to get to a place where I could live more at peace and in a way that I could be more kind to myself and others - I’ve looked into becoming a Lay Guest at local Buddhist Monastic temples.

I have found 3 and asked what it would be like if I stayed at each one?

Option 1: 36 unchanging - Brightness Hidden
Option 2: 39 unchanging - Limping/Obstruction
Option 3: 48. 3 - 29 - Abyss within the Well?

Each seems to be hinting at the same thing - I am trying to hide myself away from people… to withdraw from society and heal myself so that I may rejoin later.

I’m not sure if any sound good or bad, right or wrong - but from what little understanding I have of Buddhist teachings, further detachment and the ending or lessening of suffering is something I hope to achieve from meditative lessons etc.

I have said to family/friends since October 2018 that I feel like a shell most of the time - I respond to them and others on auto pilot most of the time from past conditioning - but that I don’t truly believe at this point of time that I fit or belong anywhere I’ve been or gone. A few people have latched on to me, and I have latched on to a few people in my lifetime - but I want to let go and be let go of.

Any advice or insight into these lines would be appreciated.

🙏 Namaste
 

Lao_Tzu

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What of this first location? Darkening of the Light communicates Intelligence Wounded. Does not matter how altruistic or spiritually developmental your consideration is - it is still plotting and scheming towards an illusory future.

What of this second location? Obstruction. Big brickwall in front of you with possible fruit behind it. Krishna said; “Let your concern be with action alone, and never with the fruits of action. Do not let the results of action be your motive, and do not be attached to inaction.”

What of this third location? Sage now heartbroken and wondering why you won't drink the clean water. You are developed enough to know the truth - inner peace and enlightenment is right now where you stand. But stillness is hard work, so we'll do it tomorrow instead!

The above divination paid no regards to your enquiry. As always, only sought to return querent back to center - does not want to indulge their lust (daydreaming of desired outcome).

I have the very same wish as you: to live on temple grounds for extended period. With what little understanding I have, it is imperative that I perish the thought of this wish. Instead, I begin to remove all my possessions until my house is completely empty. My weekly income is inaccessible as it accrues. I patiently await current job contract to end. I patiently await rental lease to end. I patiently await COVID travel restrictions to end. Later I maybe initiate passport/visa applications etc.

One day I may find myself with no entanglements and unrestricted freedom to move. I will then consult the Ching and ask - should I now move to rural china and live the next three years in a Taoist monastery?

I expect the sage will reply - "up to you".
 
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MeltingPot247

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What of this first location? Darkening of the Light communicates Intelligence Wounded. Does not matter how altruistic or spiritually developmental your consideration is - it is still plotting and scheming towards an illusory future.

What of this second location? Obstruction. Big brickwall in front of you with possible fruit behind it. Krishna said; “Let your concern be with action alone, and never with the fruits of action. Do not let the results of action be your motive, and do not be attached to inaction.”

What of this third location? Sage now heartbroken and wondering why you won't drink the clean water. You are developed enough to know the truth - inner peace and enlightenment is right now where you stand. But stillness is hard work, so we'll do it tomorrow instead!

The above divination paid no regards to your enquiry. As always, only sought to return querent back to center - does not want to indulge their lust (daydreaming of desired outcome).

I have the very same wish as you: to live on temple grounds for extended period. With what little understanding I have, it is imperative that I perish the thought of this wish. Instead, I begin to remove all my possessions until my house is completely empty. My weekly income is inaccessible as it accrues. I patiently await current job contract to end. I patiently await rental lease to end. I patiently await COVID travel restrictions to end. Later I maybe initiate passport/visa applications etc.

One day I may find myself with no entanglements and unrestricted freedom to move. I will then consult the Ching and ask - should I now move to rural china and live the next three years in a Taoist monastery?

I expect the sage will reply - "up to you".
Kia ora Lao Tzu,

I agree that the Oracle was returning me back to my centre - and that these responses reflected that. Excuse the emotive language I use which appears to suggest that I am attached to certain outcomes - part of me is attached to certain outcomes, and I would guess that is the more humanistic side of my nature... whereas another part of me is willing to surrender and to visit/stay at all of these places without expecting a specific outcome - inner peace and stillness have been difficult to maintain whilst participating in mainstream society, which is why I searched for places I could regain my equilibrium - instead of living on the streets instead of working towards or waiting to die.

Initially I wanted to stay close to my familiars, which is why I had thought of options 1 and 3 first - they were closest to people I know and love - but prior to receiving your insight - I made an application to stay with and learn with option 2, which is furthest from the ones I know and love.
 

dfreed

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I am curious, you ask if any of these options are good. All of these seem to offer something a bit different, so I’m wondering what “good” means to you, what does it look or feel like for you?

For example, are you looking for a place you can retreat to, to help you grieve and process the loss of your sister? Are you wanting a place where you can have community? Or a place to retreat to because you feel out of place or overwhelmed by life? Or maybe something else?

Also, sometimes the Yi answers our questions more simply, without regards to any notion of spiritual or higher authority we want to assign to it.

Best, d
 
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radiofreewill

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Hi MeltingPot247,

I like option 2 ~ Obstruction in the steady state, 39uc ~ because it is ready to flip over to Liberation, 40.

I admire you, and Lao_Tzu, for having the courage to follow your convictions ~ it really does feel like the 'time' is ripe for both of you.

What might cause an unchanging state of Obstruction to *invert* into Liberation?

How about taking the opposite point of view? Might that invert you?

In this case, the Temple is posited to be on the outside, and separated from you by a formidable, seemingly unending flood (39, water over mountain) of material entanglements (karma), which both of you are working your way through towards true freedom, Liberation (40, thunder over water ~ walking on water).

So, you start out distressed under water in a flood of material entanglements only to flip it over into walking on water with relief ~ a deliverance from the darkness into the light:

3GraspingandDwelling.jpg

How does this turning around get accomplished?

How about making your destination the Temple on the inside, as opposed to the outside?

This way the Obstructions to be overcome are in your heart/mind ~ over which you are sovereign ~ regardless of the landscape of your material circumstances on the outside ~ which you can't control?

This inversion to follow the spiritual path *within* takes 2 steps:

1 ~ Climb out of the washer machine of identifying with the heart/mind ~ your feelings, thoughts, and stories:

4TrueCompassion.jpg

2 ~ Into the Witness Position as the One (your true Self) who is presently *Aware* of 'your' feelings, thoughts and stories ~ the One who is sovereign over the heart/mind.

Doing this is like inverting from submersion and struggle in a sea of troubles (believing that you are your stories) into walking peacefully through the garden of Life with ease, as if on solid ground, in the present moment.

Do this and you will arrive at the Temple in no time.

I send a deep bow of respect and admiration for your choices.

Many Blessings!
 

bluemoongrl

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Dear MeltingPot247,

I too have been dreaming of a place to have a space to clear my head (for me it is an ashram that I have visited in the past), so I appreciate so much your impetus.

In reading your lines, I agree with you that option 2 is most promising. Also, it seems that all three locations point to a similar situation--which you read as " I am trying to hide myself away from people… to withdraw from society and heal myself so that I may rejoin later."

My reading of all three lines corresponds to that. I agree. I see it as this work being internal to you. It also seems to be pointing out that you might hope a place will help you overcome the hardship of your journey right now. I think part of what the readings are trying to tell you is that the place may not matter as much as you hope. That part of this journey is realizing where you are in the journey and accepting it. It is perhaps the hardest part of the work of grief to accept it.

I was led to this thought from your Option 2 reading of 39 unchanging. I was specifically looking at Legge's reference to the role of the superior man with a quotation by Mencius: "When our actions do not realize our desires, we must turn inwards and examine ourselves in every point."

I don't want to put my own experience on to you, but I do want to share how the death of a loved one can awaken lots of things in you that makes the work of grieving even more complex. In my own journey through grief, it has been almost hardest for me to untwine the feeling of loss and grief (& anger & regret) for my loved one and also the grief of confronting my own mortality--which somehow came up with much force when I had someone my own age who I loved so much die. It was the double-whammy of losing the love of someone you are close to and also confronting my own death. I'm not saying that is where you are, but I think it speaks to the complexity of grieving--how these are deep and complex realizations that are all mixed together, and hard to sort out. It take time to process and grapple with and come to terms with. It's good to give yourself a space to start to identify the threads of your grief, so that you can make sense of them. The journey isn't easy, but you do learn from it. You do need to move through it. You do come out the other side transformed, and the whole thing takes time.

So, the place you do this inner journey may not be as important as the inner journey itself. That being said, option 2 seems a good place to undertake it.
 
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MeltingPot247

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I am curious, you ask if any of these options are good. All of these seem to offer something a bit different, so I’m wondering what “good” means to you, what does it look or feel like for you?

For example, are you looking for a place you can retreat to, to help you grieve and process the loss of your sister? Are you wanting a place where you can have community? Or a place to retreat to because you feel out of place or overwhelmed by life? Or maybe something else?

Also, sometimes the Yi answers our questions more simply, without regards to any notion of spiritual or higher authority we want to assign to it.

Best, d
The closest definition of what I would define as good, best or better is a choice or place for my journey that would manifest less harm to myself, others and the wider community/world.

Where I currently live, and with the people I spend most of my time with - I have taken on some of their thoughts, feelings and behaviours as my own and vice versa some of them have taken on mine… we mirror each other - However, as I’m friends with people of all ages and backgrounds… I’ve taken on too many different and conflicting values and beliefs which is why I want to step away for a time and reset.

My intention with resetting, is to hopefully transmute some of the grief I hold whether from the physical loss of loved ones in this lifetime, or childhood trauma into acceptance, mercy/forgiveness and loving kindness.

I have a social services background and a man once spoke of working with both victims and perpetrators of crime - advising all who listened to him that both sides were made up of broken people - and that has stuck with me.

A lot of the grief and pain that has arisen most recently stems from childhood traumatic memories that included myself and my sister / other siblings.

I therefore would like to immerse myself in a community / way of life that resonates with my inner being.

The outer world I’m currently a part of does not fully resonate with my inner being… I do think a change of scenery and people will have a positive and lasting affect on me.
 
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dfreed

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what it would be like if I stayed at each one?

Option 1: 36 unchanging.
Option 2: 39 unchanging.
Option 3: 48. 3 - 29.

If it were me, I'd pick Option 1: Hexagram 36.

With Hex. 36, the lower trigram (lower three lines) is Flame / Light, with Earth above. The trigram Light represents a place of safety - or that you are seeking such a place; it also represents connections: how we rely and depend upon one another, as wood, wind, and flame all depend upon each other.

So, with this option you are seeking these qualities and have found a place within Earth to do this - with Earth being about care, nurturing, and making things real.

Hex 39's words confirm this, that it offers a Favorable augury (omen, outcome) in hardship. I have also heard this hexagram called "Using the Darkness" which fits your situation as well.

Also, the most immediate connections we make are with our family, and I think you said this option would allow you to be near your family. For me this further confirms this choice.


Regarding 39 UC, and 48.3 > 29:
I don't think these other options are 'bad' choices, but I don't feel they are as appropriate for your situation.

I get a sense that you are struggling with sadness, grief, and maybe even depression (perhaps made more pronounced by your sister's death?); both Hex. 39 and 48 have the upper trigram Water, and 29 is all Water. Water is about emotions, especially sadness or feeling down, and I think: do you really need to be covered, or overcome (water, above) by more sadness and grief right now?

I lived at a Buddhist center for over a year, and all of my immediate family - my father, mother and brother - have all passed on. I can say from my experience, that a meditation center - though helpful and valuable - is not going to be the end-all, be-all answer; you may (or will) still need to fully embrace your grief in order to let go of it.

I strongly suggest that you visit one or more of these centers before you commit to living or working there. The world of Buddhism is very vast, with lots of different styles, techniques, requirements, personalities .... The Yijing should not replace your intelligence or experience, but is meant to supplement it.

.... is a choice or place for my journey that would manifest less harm to myself, others and the wider community/world.
A retreat from the world can be a very good and healing experience, but remember too, you need not retreat from the world in order to do less harm. In fact, being in the world allows us to experience and practice the opposite: non-harming, non-greed, non-hatred.

There's a Tibetan rinpoche - or teacher - who lives near me who is a good example of this: he's a master meditation teacher (in part, achieved through years of meditation, retreat, and study), but he also returns to Tibet each year where he is the administrator for a large, rural and poor region in Eastern Tibet. And he has a wife and two children.

I hope that is of some use to you. D
 
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my_key

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Hi MeltingPot 247

What you have written here speaks loudly of the loss of connection with self you are experiencing now, resulting from your traumatic upbringing and the life choices you have made as a result of your conditioning. This has been more compounded recently with the loss of your sister and the grief that you are currently processing. It sounds like it is particularly difficult to accept the loss of someone you see as yourr guardian; someone who has kept you safe on many occassions.
In order to get to a place where I could live more at peace and in a way that I could be more kind to myself and others - I’ve looked into becoming a Lay Guest at local Buddhist Monastic temples.

I have found 3 and asked what it would be like if I stayed at each one?

Option 1: 36 unchanging - Brightness Hidden
Option 2: 39 unchanging - Limping/Obstruction
Option 3: 48. 3 - 29 - Abyss within the Well?

Option 1: Hex 36 has a meaning of being an outcast / engaging with punishment. The deeper calling of Hex 36 comes from Hex 40 Release - freedom to move with the flow.

Option 2: Hex 39 has a meaning of hardship. The calling of Hex 39 is via Hex 64 and beckons from a place where male energy is exhausted.

Option 3: Hex 48 has a meaning of wholly connecting to the source. It is deeply fuelled by the diverging views of things in Hex 38 from where you will be able to see the outsiders that inhabit your world. Hex 29 honours the black depths that have been visited so many times before.
48.3 - The well has been dredged and there is clear water to drink but the well is not being used.

I would agree that a stay at the different Buddhist Retreats does not 'sound good or bad, right or wrong'. The responses from Yi sound more like a modern Trip Advisor. Identifying for you different ways in which you can approach the peace that you are craving in your life. When you decide on a destination follow the guidance of the Noble One who has walked this way before - hex 36 or hex 39 or hex 48. Each place has different qualities and each will inspire in you different ways to embrace a different aspect of the healing you are seeking.

....of course this may all mean something different for you.

Good Luck
 
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MeltingPot247

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Hi MeltingPot 247

What you have written here speaks loudly of the loss of connection with self you are experiencing now, resulting from your traumatic upbringing and the life choices you have made as a result of your conditioning. This has been more compounded recently with the loss of your sister and the grief that you are currently processing. It sounds like it is particularly difficult to accept the loss of someone you see as yourr guardian; someone who has kept you safe on many occassions.


Option 1: Hex 36 has a meaning of being an outcast / engaging with punishment. The deeper calling of Hex 36 comes from Hex 40 Release - freedom to move with the flow.

Option 2: Hex 39 has a meaning of hardship. The calling of Hex 39 is via Hex 64 and beckons from a place where male energy is exhausted.

Option 3: Hex 48 has a meaning of wholly connecting to the source. It is deeply fuelled by the diverging views of things in Hex 38 from where you will be able to see the outsiders that inhabit your world. Hex 29 honours the black depths that have been visited so many times before.
48.3 - The well has been dredged and there is clear water to drink but the well is not being used.

I would agree that a stay at the different Buddhist Retreats does not 'sound good or bad, right or wrong'. The responses from Yi sound more like a modern Trip Advisor. Identifying for you different ways in which you can approach the peace that you are craving in your life. When you decide on a destination follow the guidance of the Noble One who has walked this way before - hex 36 or hex 39 or hex 48. Each place has different qualities and each will inspire in you different ways to embrace a different aspect of the healing you are seeking.

....of course this may all mean something different for you.

Good Luck
I was intrigued when I got each answer, as each one reflected different aspects of my thoughts and feelings about where I am at - like an outcast whose brightness is hidden or diminished, overcast by shadows/ fears, obstructed by exhausted masculine energy and that there is a spiritual well or resource within me that is not fully understood, but that could be if I paid more attention to it.

Thank you MyKey 🙏🏼
 

MeltingPot247

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Another update for all:

There is a reason why we have a Book of Changes - and for someone like me, my head (thoughts) and heart (feelings) change a lot and so do my outer circumstances just as often and swiftly. At the time of these readings when I was inquiring about retreating away to Buddhist monasteries for healing I was feeling rejected and unappreciated by those I grew up with and those closest to me now - but then I realized I push people away just as much as I pull them in with my ever changing highs and lows - I'm like a rollercoaster for people so it should no longer come as a surprise to me why others appear to me the way they do if I act and behave the way I do.

Though part of me still feels I and others would benefit hugely if I were to go away to the monasteries - I have daughters who I hoped would be okay with staying with other family for a while, one said they would (youngest, one I'm most worried about safety wise with others) - and the other said they wouldn't (my eldest) ... So I had been divided about departing from them for a time - I have felt recently as though they (my now teens) have been taking me for granted, not helping as much around the house and expecting too much from me which as a solo parent is very draining...but I could stay longer and endure, seek monasteries out later in year when they go on their own three week holiday with Nan.

So I asked a new question today :

Is staying with my family or leaving them temporarily the better option for greater good long term?

I received 30 unchanging - Clarity/ Clinging Fire.

It speaks of raising cattle - which I guess relates to staying with my daughters, though one of my struggles at this time is financially providing for them while studying full time.

I have been working two jobs and the one which pays more (but not much) - I have not been treated well at from the start.

I gave them two weeks notice already - but could extend that to four. I don't have a back up plan but I do have my out of town job on school holidays coming up which pays well (government work).

I wondered what anyone else might make of 30 unchanging with regards to whether or not it suggests staying.

I also asked for insight into financial opportunities to provide for my daughters as a question and received 16.2.3 to 32.

16.2 Boundaries turn to stone, not for a day.

16.3 Gazing upwards, no regrets - don't procrastinate - or something along those lines...

This might be a call to action to get started on the dog walking jobs my youngest wants to do with me, so that she can earn some pocket money too.

I've been studying social work - but also enrolled into a personal training fitness business course which I would rather switch focus to, as working with my daughters is something I hope to do long term...not that my eldest has been interested in doing so, but still a hope of mine - I'm not sure how to show her that us working together would be helpful and beneficial for all of us in the long run?
 
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rosada

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30. Clarity comes when two separate flames support each other and together light up the four corners of the world. I see this as saying you are not needing a master teacher to guide you through this emotional roller coaster as described in the Image of 29, but more like you could use the companionship of equals as described by 30. That could come from spending some time at the monastary with other adults but it might also be a template for how things should be arranged at home. IOW, having a heart-to-heart with the kids and telling them the realities of how you can't do it all and how it's time to divide up the chores and be equal partners in this household.
I am so sorry for your loss.
 

radiofreewill

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"Is staying with my family or leaving them temporarily the better option for greater good long term?"
30uc ~ Two girls share the torch of Clarity

In the same way that 57 is your sister, two girls; so also is 30 your two daughters 'in the middle' ~ teenagers.

The balanced and steady *insight* that you had regarding the 'distancing' nature of the mirrored push-pull relationship dynamic opens the way to the healing that you hoped to find at the Monastery: the Witness Position ~ a true refuge of stillness and equanimity in the middle of our rollercoaster lives.

The realization that you are not the rollercoaster, but rather you are the Awareness of the rollercoaster, is like finding solid ground in the stormy sea of being a Solo_Mom_of_Teen_Girls ~ and not a minute too soon, either ~ that rollercoaster can be crazymaking!

And, and, and, this is a precious treasure that you can share with your daughters, so that they might find the Witness Position for themselves, too ~ and rise above life's ups-and-downs, no matter what life brings their way?

So, 30uc ~ choose/cling to your daughters ~ your sister is smiling.

"I also asked for insight into financial opportunities to provide for my daughters?"
16.2.3 to 32 ~ The greatest treasure they'll ever find is seeing you steadily stay out of the washer machine (line 2) and in the Witness Position (line 3), instead.

If you can do this, then the way through all problems, including financial ones, will be clear.

That's what you want them to see: The Witness Position ~ above the pushing and pulling ~ is the place to be ~ in the middle of Life's ups-and-downs. And then calmly tell them to do the dishes, laundry and picking-up with all the BossMom love you've got?

So, my advice is: postpone the Monastery for a more opportune time, and put the train back on the tracks at home with your job(s) and the family...

...and do it all with the Clarity of 30uc.

All love and blessings to you and your family! :)
 

MeltingPot247

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Thank you so much Rosada and Radiofreewill for your latest responses...they really resonate and I feel a peace.

I have felt so overburdened with study, work and family losses recently that I would rather stay with my girls...but sometimes I have doubted my inner strength, peace and ability to keep on keeping on...

I have been advised or encouraged to continue with my studies by a few people, but I don't enjoy writing assignments as they stress me out, don't pay my bills and take my attention away from my daughters etc - so in addition I asked *How would things be, if I give up the social work degree* - and received 48.2.4 to 31

Line 2
'In the well's depths they shoot fish.
The jug is cracked and leaking.'

Line 4
'Well is being lined,
No mistake.'

It seems to suggest having a temporary break rather than a permanent one ... But I'm really over this degree and not interested in pursuing "social work or policy' as a career anymore lol.

I prefer to live fully, not overthinking by studying theories etc.

I would love to do more instead of think more ...To be actively self employed and running a small family business as a social enterprise that gives back to the wider community 🙏💗

Love and blessings to all of you who have responded to me on this thread, I truly appreciate it.
 
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MeltingPot247

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"Is staying with my family or leaving them temporarily the better option for greater good long term?"
30uc ~ Two girls share the torch of Clarity

In the same way that 57 is your sister, two girls; so also is 30 your two daughters 'in the middle' ~ teenagers.

The balanced and steady *insight* that you had regarding the 'distancing' nature of the mirrored push-pull relationship dynamic opens the way to the healing that you hoped to find at the Monastery: the Witness Position ~ a true refuge of stillness and equanimity in the middle of our rollercoaster lives.

The realization that you are not the rollercoaster, but rather you are the Awareness of the rollercoaster, is like finding solid ground in the stormy sea of being a Solo_Mom_of_Teen_Girls ~ and not a minute too soon, either ~ that rollercoaster can be crazymaking!

And, and, and, this is a precious treasure that you can share with your daughters, so that they might find the Witness Position for themselves, too ~ and rise above life's ups-and-downs, no matter what life brings their way?

So, 30uc ~ choose/cling to your daughters ~ your sister is smiling.

"I also asked for insight into financial opportunities to provide for my daughters?"
16.2.3 to 32 ~ The greatest treasure they'll ever find is seeing you steadily stay out of the washer machine (line 2) and in the Witness Position (line 3), instead.

If you can do this, then the way through all problems, including financial ones, will be clear.

That's what you want them to see: The Witness Position ~ above the pushing and pulling ~ is the place to be ~ in the middle of Life's ups-and-downs. And then calmly tell them to do the dishes, laundry and picking-up with all the BossMom love you've got?

So, my advice is: postpone the Monastery for a more opportune time, and put the train back on the tracks at home with your job(s) and the family...

...and do it all with the Clarity of 30uc.

All love and blessings to you and your family! :)
P.S The witness position really speaks to me as I am the middle child in the family of my parents and siblings... I was more the observer of everybody else rather than an active participant in sibling/family activities as a child and even as an adult - and yet when I am calm and rested, not stressed ...I do know that my family love and appreciate me - as that is also when I am acting my best towards them.

You have all been very helpful in reminding me of the good amidst all of the chaos.

Thank you so much - namaste (bows) 🤍🧘🏻‍♀️
 

dfreed

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Is staying with my family or leaving them temporarily the better option for greater good long term?

I received 30 unchanging - Clarity/ Clinging Fire.
The answer here is YES, staying with your family is a better option (in my humble opinion). As I said ....
The trigram Light represents a place of safety - or that you are seeking such a place; it also represents connections: how we rely and depend upon one another, as wood, wind, and flame all depend upon each other.
So here you have two Light / Flame trigrams, which also represent two daughters (the two middle daughters); and it represents a place of safety, and I can envision it being about a fire burning in the hearth, a 'bright' safe place, and also: Favorable Offering. Auspicious for raising cows, which reminds me of domestication, of being domestic, of taking care of those around us ....

The upper nuclear trigram (lines 3,4,5) is Lake, which is about joy and also communication. The lower nuclear trigram (lines 2,3,4) is Wind, which can be about having a gentle, long-term outlook or approach.

So, with Hex. 30 you can create a warm, safe place - a home - where you can have (or explore having) a gentle, long-term relationship, and joyful communication with your family - including your daughters. Here in this safe, warm space you can find ways that the different 'parts' of your family connect, interact, and depend upon one another - as do wood, flame and wind.

I'm thinking, that sounds like a pretty darn good option! And perhaps too there's a local Buddhist center where you can go to meditate? (I know there are quite a few of them near me.)

Best, D
 
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rosada

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Looking at 48.2.4 - 31

48.2.4 seems to be referencing your current state and the need for you to intentionally do what needs to be done to heal, so I see this as the I Ching mirroring your idea of stepping back and rethinking your intentions.
31's Image says, " The superior man encourages people to approach him by his readiness to receive them". Could this be a reference to setting up the small family enterprise?

Together these lines suggest to me that you should consider what's best for your business ambition. Would having a degree somehow help you in establishing your business, would it "encourage people to approach"? Would you have more 31. Influence if you had the letters after your name? You may think you'd never use a degree but you are in a sort of out of body state right now so putting things on hold rather than dropping out completely might be a prudent move.
 
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MeltingPot247

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Looking at 48.2.4 - 31

48.2.4 seems to be referencing your current state and the need for you to intentionally do what needs to be done to heal, so I see this as the I Ching mirroring your idea of stepping back and rethinking your intentions.
31's Image says, " The superior man encourages people to approach him by his readiness to receive them". Could this be a reference to setting up the small family enterprise?

Together these lines suggest to me that you should consider what's best for your business ambition. Would having a degree somehow help you in establishing your business, would it "encourage people to approach"? Would you have more 31. Influence if you had the letters after your name? You may think you'd never use a degree but you are in a sort of out of body state right now so putting things on hold rather than dropping out completely might be a prudent move.
Hi Rosada,

I had the last two years off and I'm currently a 3rd year student... but had to drop one paper already. The other two that I still have left this semester are mentally draining alongside work and raising the teens. The small family business idea is food/hospitality based, I'm a waitperson currently and I've been treated quite rudely by a few people at the high class restaurant I currently work for.

The degree I was studying was more for the benefit of people I thought I'd be able to help upon completion, but for someone as open and freedom loving as me, I find the institute I study with as not really all that supportive - other students have felt the same...my bad for choosing to study distance/online but in person is not really an option anymore...not with my adolescents going through their changes too. Both social work and the fitness qualification were study by distance/ online options - but the first has specific deadlines whereas second option is more study at own pace. I started social work in 2016... It's been dragging on and in between there has been so much drama/ obstruction - a court case from 2018- 2020. With fitness qualification, it's more in line with the person I'd rather be. With social work I would already be diploma qualified - except in our country they make us get full degrees for this line of work now, whereas in the past they didn't.

The fitness business qualification I enrolled in last year has more active support from trainer even though I have been M.I.A she sends encouraging emails everyday.

I admire the second course trainers - they are more involved even by distance and there course fits in more with the family business concept I have 🙏
 

MeltingPot247

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The answer here is YES, staying with your family is a better option (in my humble opinion). As I said ....

So here you have two Light / Flame trigrams, which also represent two daughters (the two middle daughters); and it represents a place of safety, and I can envision it being about a fire burning in the hearth, a 'bright' safe place, and also: Favorable Offering. Auspicious for raising cows, which reminds me of domestication, of being domestic, of taking care of those around us ....

The upper nuclear trigram (lines 3,4,5) is Lake, which is about joy and also communication. The lower nuclear trigram (lines 2,3,4) is Wind, which can be about having a gentle, long-term outlook or approach.

So, with Hex. 30 you can create a warm, safe place - a home - where you can have (or explore having) a gentle, long-term relationship, and joyful communication with your family - including your daughters. Here in this safe, warm space you can find ways that the different 'parts' of your family connect, interact, and depend upon one another - as do wood, flame and wind.

I'm thinking, that sounds like a pretty darn good option! And perhaps too there's a local Buddhist center where you can go to meditate? (I know there are quite a few of them near me.)

Best, D
I love the way you describe everything - paints an encouraging and beautiful picture/vision 💗
 

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