asking for help 12:2

[hebe]

Hello, I am hoping that in this horrible place of being totally blocked someone could help me to confirm my thoughts about 12:2 in answer to whether taking this job would be the right move for me. I have to move from where I am and am resorting back to my old line of work and could possibly be offered it. Before I went for the interview some time ago I knew about the job and because it was so important to me to make the right move I went through Hilary and we got 50: 1,3,4 and 6 and she was of the opinion that it would be good but be aware of line 4 as it could be too much. Now, having had the interview and seen the site etc I am feeling fearful and panicky as I do need to take action but it could so be too much physically.

When I looked at Lise it felt like a big no, but however much I read around it I question whether it is really saying, just adapt to what is presented to you right now as you have very little choice, being blocked, or whether the right move is not to take it because of the problems I can foresee. But then they could be overcome if I had the right attitude and became the small for the timebeing and went into it wholeheartedly.

I truly am in conflict about this and tearful, I feel like I could be heading for some kind of a breakdown if I'm not careful. I have yet another interview for it tommorrow and then I imagine will need to make a decision as I know they are keen on me as I seem to fit it with the place, but they are not aware of how I will cope with the physical and nor am I. Its back to house-keeping but much longer hours and 6 days a week, with accommodation as well.


'enwrap what you receive' could be to just take what is given with good grace and trust??
the small person (ie don't have big goals right now, just stay low and do as good as you can). the way is open, the great person is obstructed. Success. Karcher. Maybe because I am trying too hard to sort it all out I can't be great right now.

The nuclear could be a good signal as it could be that for the timebeing it may not be right but that it helps me to have a base and some stability and gradually advance to my real goals of work (which I haven't figured out yet..althought I know I need to be using my creative skills)

I ask for your help - and hopefully someone will be able to help me interpret 12.2 accurately as I so need to make the right move and a) not let them down, but also myself down. any thoughts? they would be SO appreciated, love Hebe

 

[tifa]

Hello Hebe,

IMHO, it is a "No" . You are tempted to accept and take the opportunity. It is sitting right there like a delicious cake, waiting to be munched. However, the changing line in Hexagram 12 suggests there is a better job out there for you.

That's my take.... but I guess other members may have more to add.

 

[Trojina]

The thing that sticks in my mind about 12.2 is the sentence 'he does not allow himself to behonoured with revenue' (ie pay)...or something like that, think its Wilhelm....for me this is a 'no' this is not a contract you want, it is lesser than you.

However one could also see it as being 'good enough for now' as you say

Overall I think I'd take it as advice that this is not for you and I don't think I agree with Hilarys view on the 50 answer either with all the images of upside down pots how could returning to a usual line of work be a good idea ? I expect she knows best though


Don't panic, you don't have to do anything you don't want to. Having to live in on the job brings a huge added burden doesn't it...your job becomes not just part of your life but all your life with not alot of space to be you..I think thats the other thing in 12.2 there is no room to be you.

I would have thought given the upheavals you've had you would probably need a good deal of time just to be, to process it all and I think you are right to consider the physical aspect of it too.


So I'm weighted to you letting this go...you could always ask 'what if i let this go ?'

There is another way to view it as you described ...but in my experience 12.2 is a pretty unrewarding place to be. A place where you are not valued for who you are, where your uniqueness is not recognised, a little cog in a big wheel...Hmm now maybe one can put up with that for 4 days a week but 6 days a week and living in !! Hmm you are asking alot of yourself perhaps ?

You may as well go to the 2nd interview though ? I'm sure you will know in your heart by then if its something you feel you can sustain. I don't think you'll make a wrong choice either way, I think you are going to unmistakably feel this.....if you feel a sense of increasing alienation walk away....if you don't then maybe think of accepting ? I think 12.2 describes perfectly the feelings one has when doing alienating work. I say alienating because one is often viewed as an object in 12....doesn't have anything to do with the level of the job either for example one could be happily experiencing 45.2 as a dish washer and unhappily experiencing 12.2 as a CEO. So check your instincts...are you feeling alienated by their approach to you or what they expect of you ?

 

[hebe]

Trojan! how great to hear from you... the MOST bizarre thing, i was just sitting here and thinking, now what would i Truly like to be involved in...ok, long term I appreciate, but what inspires me? and its always back to the study of consciousness, spiritual psychology, creative expression... symbols, feelings, touch, writing, journaling, biblical studies...ok, the list is long, but its what i feel I belong to and is always a part of my life..so I just put in for the hell of it as the interview is tommorow, - is there a way forward with any of this? (ie the above list) and got the very one you said... 45:2! Now I appreciate its much too much to ask in one question, but I just 'felt' the sense of it as opposed to all those things separately.

When I read your much appreciated insight, I felt HUGE relief initially. Yes, then the fear kicked in in a big way, with but what else?? but yes, i did get the initial relief to be sure. I think that says something. I can't tell you what a journey its been, totally unexpected because I had no idea of the extent of pain all this past months of separation & no base would cause. I'd like to think that there is a tunnel out - which of course there is, but even my dreams are now giving such big clues. ie last boss (house-keeping) in her new house and i went to visit, but she became very impatient with me because i was hanging around and I was no longer employed there. I kissed paul there, and lady came up with some runes and threw them - they said ' he is no longer here'... 'BUT he IS! I cried, he's here right now' then i woke up.
Last night i dreamt of being in a tall building and there was an earthquake... i was fascinated by the way the building was moving so much from side to side quite violently and really felt as if it could be the beginning of something massive and was secretly thrilled that somehow it might cause the end of my life. Nobody else in the quake seemed that bothered by it though! then i refused to get into my friends car who could drive us away as they were all drunk and I felt safer in the unknown than getting into that car. I couldnt believe that they all drove off and left me though.

anyway, that was just for your interest, not a need for a reply! Could be that I am consciously drawing the beginning of the end and the arrival of the new...ie DEATH of this phase.

I will check my instincts as you say, and could ask after interview the question you suggested...I am sure that they will be lovely but I will feel kind of under valuing my ability and sense that I should be doing more intelligent professional work and discovering my unique talents PLUS will probably be exhausted by the physical of it. I can get hired help in, that is no problem, and she is very sensitive and kind, but the bottom line is twofold: one its money and a place (but no real place to let go) and two, its ta choice ...so yes, its picking up towels, doing laundry, cooking, cleaning... chopping wood do I hear someone say?

I'll see how tommorow unfolds, although to a great extent its how i play it.

Thanks trojan, hebe

 

[hebe]

Tifa, I didn't see your reply for some reason until this morning. Thanks for that... it certainly feels like a delicious cake sitting there... we'll see how today goes. I will ask the question that trojan suggested as well. Thank you.

 

[Trojina]

Trojan! how great to hear from you... the MOST bizarre thing, i was just sitting here and thinking, now what would i Truly like to be involved in...ok, long term I appreciate, but what inspires me? and its always back to the study of consciousness, spiritual psychology, creative expression... symbols, feelings, touch, writing, journaling, biblical studies...ok, the list is long, but its what i feel I belong to and is always a part of my life..so I just put in for the hell of it as the interview is tommorow, - is there a way forward with any of this? (ie the above list) and got the very one you said... 45:2! Now I appreciate its much too much to ask in one question, but I just 'felt' the sense of it as opposed to all those things separately.

Thats very strange isn't it ...I just picked 45.2 at random i don't know why for some reason it seemed the very antithesisof 12.2 and you then threw it ...maybe we are connecting on this. Could be becasue I can relate to how cataclysmic this break up has been for you....theres break ups...and then theres break ups and some are absolute seismic shifts in our souls...which of course relates perfectly to the dreams you describe below.

When I read your much appreciated insight, I felt HUGE relief initially. Yes, then the fear kicked in in a big way, with but what else?? but yes, i did get the initial relief to be sure. I think that says something. I can't tell you what a journey its been, totally unexpected because I had no idea of the extent of pain all this past months of separation & no base would cause.

Interesting that you felt relief...so that indicates in some way you were wanting 'permisson' not to do the job...so somewhere in you you still feel you aren't really the one in control here...Again I know where you are coming from I find myself doing the same thing sometimes especially re jobs. Not that Tifa and I were giving 'permission'...but we just weighed in with our views so strengthening yours.

I'd like to think that there is a tunnel out - which of course there is, but even my dreams are now giving such big clues. ie last boss (house-keeping) in her new house and i went to visit, but she became very impatient with me because i was hanging around and I was no longer employed there. I kissed paul there, and lady came up with some runes and threw them - they said ' he is no longer here'... 'BUT he IS! I cried, he's here right now' then i woke up.
Last night i dreamt of being in a tall building and there was an earthquake... i was fascinated by the way the building was moving so much from side to side quite violently and really felt as if it could be the beginning of something massive and was secretly thrilled that somehow it might cause the end of my life. Nobody else in the quake seemed that bothered by it though! then i refused to get into my friends car who could drive us away as they were all drunk and I felt safer in the unknown than getting into that car. I couldnt believe that they all drove off and left me though.

anyway, that was just for your interest, not a need for a reply! Could be that I am consciously drawing the beginning of the end and the arrival of the new...ie DEATH of this phase.

These are amazing dreams aren't they and again I can relate becasue when I had a seismic shift breakup years back I'd have dreams of almost celebrating the loss that was so very painful in waking life...its as if a hidden part of our souls, the flip side of the psyche, sees what we find so awful as a new life, the unknown, new beginning...Some part of our soul sees events we consciously find dreadful as liberating.

I will check my instincts as you say, and could ask after interview the question you suggested...I am sure that they will be lovely but I will feel kind of under valuing my ability and sense that I should be doing more intelligent professional work and discovering my unique talents PLUS will probably be exhausted by the physical of it. I can get hired help in, that is no problem, and she is very sensitive and kind, but the bottom line is twofold: one its money and a place (but no real place to let go) and two, its ta choice ...so yes, its picking up towels, doing laundry, cooking, cleaning... chopping wood do I hear someone say?

I'll see how tomorow unfolds, although to a great extent its how i play it.

Thanks trojan, hebe

Let us know how it goes either way

 

[hebe]

Hi Trojan,

Thank you very much for your response and thoughts... it's good to be heard on that level and somehow feel the strength from a supportive opinion, although if ever I write about these experiences I will never ever forget the powerlessness of not being able to form, let alone stick to, my own opinion and insight. Must be a huge lesson in all of this of finding my own power - and the words that you wrote about needing 'permission' have also come up in reading I had done with alan bridges a while ago, who doesn't know me, but told me that I am carrying my husband around energetically like a weight behind me and although I may not appreciate it, am running every decision and choice by him. 'STOP IT'. he said. Easier said than done. BUT there is a lesson here that I imagine many of us are going through, especially those who have been to a large or small degree, dependant on their partner for their own 'wholeness' or perhaps, as I think we did, got married before being happy at being single, ie not actually NEEDING another to make them happy. anyway, that is all an aside.

So, I threw 42:1 for letting go of the job. It felt good to read as much as I could initially read from my books and suggests, from Karcher, that even with slim resources, which mine now are, real possibilities are there. Relating hexagram suggests exactly what you suggest in the sense of not panicking, being contemplative but at the same time seeing what is really there - and in a state of panic that just hasn't been possible. Again easier said than done.

I liked the idea of increase and liked alot about the hexagram and again helped me to feel better about turning down a job that provided money and a roof when I am obviously in need. A part of me feels as if I am just barking to let it go, but then another part grabs hold of that hexagram and after so much that I have read from what others say, that the I ching always says the truth. So, just to confirm, would you agree, that it is encouraging... I mean it does seem obvious to me, but being an amatuer at this, it might be something else that I am not aware of either. In one of the threads willowfox says that the user has a great deal of potential, so use it. Makes sense... I now need to find the way forward with this. Open the doors wider than I've been prepared to. See what's beyond my thinking. I keep coming back to thinking outside of the box - but have been for a while and just can't get out of the box. (YET).

I loved Hilary's take which asked those questions : What would you do if you had no limits? no restrictions... blessings are there... how do you want to use them? all suggestive of thinking outside of my box. Lise, is also encouraging about drawing attention to talents - I keep being told how many talents I have - and this is about using them. Not, from what I read in 12;2, doing something that is limiting and not using your unique talents.

So, the interview went well and I liked her enormously - but that is very different from doing the practical job and the amount of cooking involved is much more than I am able to do anyway. I am not a cook and am a vegetarian! its just a delicious cake sitting there! gosh, alot from a question on a job, but such an important decision to get right. Thanks again for your help, Hebe. Ps are you much better emotionally now Trojan - after how many years?? I can't imagine ever being free of the pain.

 

[Trojina]

Hi Trojan,

Thank you very much for your response and thoughts... it's good to be heard on that level and somehow feel the strength from a supportive opinion, although if ever I write about these experiences I will never ever forget the powerlessness of not being able to form, let alone stick to, my own opinion and insight. Must be a huge lesson in all of this of finding my own power - and the words that you wrote about needing 'permission' have also come up in reading I had done with alan bridges a while ago, who doesn't know me, but told me that I am carrying my husband around energetically like a weight behind me and although I may not appreciate it, am running every decision and choice by him. 'STOP IT'. he said. Easier said than done. BUT there is a lesson here that I imagine many of us are going through, especially those who have been to a large or small degree, dependant on their partner for their own 'wholeness' or perhaps, as I think we did, got married before being happy at being single, ie not actually NEEDING another to make them happy. anyway, that is all an aside.

Yes I think its a huge lesson.., maybe its karmic. The pain is enormous but the gift it brings eventually is enormous too since I think it literally can bring you to find your own power and then perhaps you can relate in a new way when ready ? I'm still working on it anyway

So, I threw 42:1 for letting go of the job. It felt good to read as much as I could initially read from my books and suggests, from Karcher, that even with slim resources, which mine now are, real possibilities are there. Relating hexagram suggests exactly what you suggest in the sense of not panicking, being contemplative but at the same time seeing what is really there - and in a state of panic that just hasn't been possible. Again easier said than done.

I liked the idea of increase and liked alot about the hexagram and again helped me to feel better about turning down a job that provided money and a roof when I am obviously in need. A part of me feels as if I am just barking to let it go, but then another part grabs hold of that hexagram and after so much that I have read from what others say, that the I ching always says the truth. So, just to confirm, would you agree, that it is encouraging... I mean it does seem obvious to me, but being an amatuer at this, it might be something else that I am not aware of either. In one of the threads willowfox says that the user has a great deal of potential, so use it. Makes sense... I now need to find the way forward with this. Open the doors wider than I've been prepared to. See what's beyond my thinking. I keep coming back to thinking outside of the box - but have been for a while and just can't get out of the box. (YET).

It does seem encouraging and i think its a line that really encourages you to go for what you want.....its not about adapting and keeping small

I loved Hilary's take which asked those questions : What would you do if you had no limits? no restrictions... blessings are there... how do you want to use them? all suggestive of thinking outside of my box. Lise, is also encouraging about drawing attention to talents - I keep being told how many talents I have - and this is about using them. Not, from what I read in 12;2, doing something that is limiting and not using your unique talents.

So, the interview went well and I liked her enormously - but that is very different from doing the practical job and the amount of cooking involved is much more than I am able to do anyway. I am not a cook and am a vegetarian! its just a delicious cake sitting there! gosh, alot from a question on a job, but such an important decision to get right. Thanks again for your help, Hebe. Ps are you much better emotionally now Trojan - after how many years?? I can't imagine ever being free of the pain.

Well liking her sounds good and the interview went well so now I guess you wait to hear if you get an offer ? I guess perhaps we shouldn't try to make this too black and white that you definately shouldn't take it...just incase we didn't get the angle on the reading quite right....I mean I still feel the same about the readings but in the end it really comes down to your choice.

Yes the relationship I referred to finished about 20 years ago and I've had other long term relationships since then BUT because that one had spanned 'formative years' so to speak I virtually didn't know how to live without him in any sense. But in anycase I don't think we truly lose people when theres been a great bond. yes we can go our seperate ways but we still carry an essence of the person, where they touched us and of course i swear me and him visit each other on the astral plane virtually every night...he used to freak me out by sometimes telling me to stop thinking about him, precisely when i was thinking about him....we used sometimes to test our connection by him sending me an image in his mind and then I'd draw it.....people who live together often develop this kind of connection and energetically I don't think its so easy to lose.....however perhaps we do need to lose the dependence....

 

[hebe]

hi - such interesting things you say - and I am convinced about the soul visiting each night as well, am sure it helps us in some way. It is still so raw for me, I had an email just now, the first for a few weeks in response to a short one of mine, and just reading an email brings a river of tears - silent ones as I am at my parents house this weekend and its too worrying for them to see me upset.

It throws me so completely that I can' t even think about the job...I hurt so much I kind of lose the plot. Perhaps all the more reason to take it and just cope somehow, but I need to hang on to regaining my power. Probably not the time to respond to you as it probably comes across as very weak and needing to get a grip, but am just off for a house-sit this weekend and wanted to reply. Thanks trojan, and I'll let you know how it goes I appreciate your telling me of your story, it does seem that we all go through this and I'm must involved in a stage of it. love Hebe

 

[Trojina]

FWIW at the height of this stuff I could barely do anything at all let alone a full time job. My head was a full time occupation and I guess i was ill with it really, got very very thin and looking back I couldn't have forced myself into doing anything major and nor do I think I should have. I got by by doing bits of things I could handle.

Take it easy on yourself. Its still early days and I think though he hasn't died you are actually still grieving

I think its time to ditch all the judgemental stuff about getting a grip and just do what you can.

 

[hebe]

Of course, you're right. Its easy to get too involved in my own head and then judgmental I've discovered. Better to just ride the waves as they come, but having my own space would be helpful no doubt. Thanks for your help with this Trojan, no doubt I'll be revisiting at a later date - hopefully with some strong movement forward having happened. Better focus on that 45:1 now,...! All the best, Hebe

 

[arabella]

Nothing to add to Trojan who's been brilliant here, except Hebe to say well done, to you! So much of what you write hits close to home and I can feel a lot of what you are going through as though it were first-hand. You are courageous and intelligent but it's so impossible to outwit feeling which must just be experienced.

There is a line in the book/movie, Geisha, when the woman protagonist who cruelly lost her family explains that, in ancient times, poets sometimes wrote haiku on the temple walls. One had etched a poem there called "Loss" and then scratched out the words. "You can not write loss," she said, "You can only feel it."

You are not alone, Arabella

 

[hebe]

Brilliant...'You can not write loss, You can only feel it.' Brilliant.

It is so punchy in that it takes you to exactly the right place in order to let it go. I read (red) alot about the controversy over the need to feel emotions in past life therapy vs not needing to actually feel the event. ( I got there by default as I felt so challenged by the christians in all walks of life that I am encountering at healing retreats etc who catagorically believe in a) eternal hell for those who do not confess/repent and b) strictly no belief in reincarnation.. ie HEBE, You're out! So I googled ' christianity and reincarnation'... lots to get engrossed in!. But, before I digress too far, the site that really took my interest was a man called Jan Sigdell who wrote a thought provoking paper on his thoughts on the evidence of reincarnation as written in the bible. He also works as a past life therapist with clients who were severely blocked in an area of their lives. He was very much of the opinion that unless one truly FELT the core experience then it was not so successful as those who observed the emotion in a detached way. This is all of great interest to me because one of my teachers H.H Sri Sri Ravi Shankar has always said that it is important to FEEL the emotions that we are in and especially through breath-work/ kriya. Now the reason I am rabbiting on about this is because that beautifully straightforward Haiku drums it home. Thank you so much for that Arabella, and so glad to touch base with you as well. Always good to hear from you and your opinions/insight. THANK YOU! x

I will look at the I Ching's guidance with my grief again: it was 52: 1,2,4 and 6 to 34. I truly thought that I understood it but may be useful to read again in light of this.