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Blog post: Advice for relationship readings

Trojina

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No I am not offended at all

You are Spanish speaker !

So we need clear instructions in Spanish for casting coins




But I am confident that very soon you will have a break through :)

And you will be soon able to cast with coins :)


I'm sending you power to do this

I think others on the site would like you to make this break through too

Now Amy can you feel our collective mind power

we are willing you to be able to cast with coins

especially since you bought some from the market


:cool::cool::cool:
 
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dilson

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Help wanted

This thread is great! It helps us,beginners, to augment our awareness of the Yijing by promoting a positive exchange with more experienced members.
I need help to understand an answer of the Yijing. My question to the Yijing was:
What is my Dao? The Yijing answered me with 60.5 >19 . Can anybody help me?
Thanks for the kind attention!
Dilson from Brazil
 

bamboo

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what a sweet and beautiful reading, Dilson. Giving measure and form to your character, you live with integrity.
 

dilson

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Thanking you

what a sweet and beautiful reading, Dilson. Giving measure and form to your character, you live with integrity.
Bamboo,
I thank you for your elegant and useful comment! Please do comment a little further. Do you mean that only after giving measure and form to my character I will live with integrity?
Thanks for your kind attention!

I do also hope to have more comments made by other members.
 

hilary

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Hi Dilson,
I agree it's a beautiful reading. So more people see it and can comment, I suggest you start a new thread. Click 'Shared Readings' above, and then the blue 'New Thread' button on the left.
 

Trojina

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I don't undertsand the question 'what is my dao' what does that mean ?

can dao be defined ? does one 'have' a dao or is one just part of it and can it be narrowed down to what ones own bit of it is ?
 

dilson

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I don't undertsand the question 'what is my dao' what does that mean ?

can dao be defined ? does one 'have' a dao or is one just part of it and can it be narrowed down to what ones own bit of it is ?
Trojan,
According to what I have been reading, Tao or Dao can be defined simply as" essence,nature or way".
The universe has its own dao,essence, and so does every human being or animal as well.
The answer to all your questions is yes!
Following Hilary´s suggestion I am going to start a new thread.
Thanks for your kind attention and interest!

Dilson from Brazil
 

el_2

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To go back to the original issue, i.e. the advice for relationship readings, here's my experience.

I joined this forum about a couple of years ago and I posted a few questions in the Shared Readings section back then and, of course, they were 'relationship' questions. They were actually about a potential relationship, an on-and-off thing. Others helped me with interpretation, I was a total beginner back then, and for the most part I understood what they were telling me. But I soon found out that nothing substitutes the time you dedicate to a reading, to understanding and interpreting an answer yourself. The depth of understanding is amazingly different, even when you misunderstand the answer the Yi has given you (trial and error they call it).

Back then, and for some length of time, I indulged in some obsessive questioning from time to time even though I didn't post here. This process helped me a lot to begin to understand the I Ching better, to learn, and I'm still learning of course. It was a good way to explore the meanings of the hexagrams and the lines. This process also helped me improve my questioning and establish a certain relationship with the oracle.

So, even obsessive questioning can be extremely useful if one is willing to take things further, although it can also be emotionally unbalancing. Sometimes I was not able to comprehend the magnitude of the answer. I would, for instance, get a 36.6 and worry but in the end nothing horrible would happen because I had not asked a "big" question; it was all a matter of magnitude. I'd see 'negative' lines in a completely 'negative' way, all doom and gloom, and mistakingly so. Sometimes things are what they are, there's nothing you can do. In time you may come to realize that hexagram 23 was actually positive because it was what you needed to do, the sooner the better, but no, you were too emotionally involved to understand or accept this. In time you may also come to realize that the 25.5 answer you cast was spot on and good to know at the time. Again you were not willing to accept it.

Asking about relationships may also help you become aware of your assumptions when questioning. For instance, asking 'How can I improve the situation between us?' is based on the assumption that the situation can be improved. Being aware of your assumptions (negative and positive) is important when questioning about any matter.

Asking about another person's feelings: I actually asked once and posted here. I was not sure it was a good thing to ask, not on ethical grounds, but because I knew the answer would make no sense to me. I've felt from the start that the Yi speaks to me, its answers refer to me and I've found it hard to change perspective. (This BTW is not so good, because an answer might be describing a situation that also consists of other elements/people and I find it hard to place them in the reading). So I posted here, got help with interpretation and - so what? I'd got 61.5. Yeah, really positive. So what? I guess inquiring about other people's feelings didn't make sense for me either even if I somehow managed to understand the answer. Shortly afterwards I asked the Yi about asking about other people's feelings, stating that I didn't get it (so the question was relating to me). The answer was hexagram 4 unchanging. In peace, I went on never asking such a question again.

Prediction: I believe the Yi can give predictions but only on short-term issues, something like 'how will our interaction go tomorrow', this kind of thing. I don't ask predictive questions but I've found out that when I set a short time-frame soon to come, sometimes the Yi gives accurate predictions but I only know that in retrospect. Perhaps some forces are already set in motion and are working in the background and tomorrow is what tomorrow will be. But this does not apply for the long term. Things are not set in stone. This is very important to realize with all kinds of questions and especially with relationship questions.

Ultimately, for me, the most useful way to use the oracle has been to focus on my self and my self-development. Of course, I ask different kinds of questions, like asking for a description of a situation, etc. but I can only work on my self or control my self and not others, not my environment. I can affect them perhaps through inner change in an interactive kind of way but I cannot manipulate them nor would I want to.

To go back to the on and off relationship thing that prompted me to start using the I Ching and to post here in the first place: the most useful question would have been if this on and off thing could actually lead to something more substantial. Answer: of course not. But it never occurred to me to ask this question. This would have been the most useful one.

I'd like to take the chance to thank the people who attempted to help me with interpretations and all the people who make the same effort in the forum and also those who post in other sections like Exploring Divination. I really can't describe how much I've learned in these past couple of years. The growth has been enormous. Of course, I still consider myself a beginner in the beginning of a journey. But looking back I feel like I've made giant leaps, only they weren't giant leaps; my understanding grew day by day, minute by minute, and this forum has been the catalyst for me.

el_2
 

deusa

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"Further, in the realm of romantic feelings, phenomena such as what the other person is feeling are far less tangible and measurable than phenomena such as the weather. We can see the rain and measure the temperature, but people often are confused about even their own feelings, on top of trying to discern the feelings of others, and all of those things are invisible and hard to measure. Then add to that the psychological games people play in dating and relationships, and it becomes even more difficult. "

I loved this post, really! But this phrase was the best!
Thanks, really, i needed to read this.
 

meng

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Wish, I had read this first. I have made all the classic mistakes mentioned
Don't feel too badly, ldl, we all have.

There's two words I go out of my way not to use in association with all things Yi: always and never.
 

kapoork

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i have just started using this site for free readings and today reading this article just makes so much sense. i totally agree that it is very difficult not to keep asking because each answer just doesn't tell you do this, this, this - it has to be interpreted and knowledge of these readings is surely needed. today when I do my reading i'll do it with coins - i'm sure i'll still need help of the all the kind people answering out on the shared readings thread. how i wish we could actually have our future written on a piece of stone to be downloaded, things in black and white - life would be so much easier
 

MindyP

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I too, recognize a lot the mistakes mentioned in this post... :blush:

I agree Kapoork - wouldn't that be great? Though I'm not sure if I'd really want to know...
 

lilita

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I just now found this article and thread. And I had just posted a question of my own hoping for advice from readers, now I'm not sure if I should be embarrassed! Maybe my question was an impossible one. A "what will happen" kind of question. I asked that question in a moment of frustration, and wasn't even sure I wanted to hear the answer, but I feel it's time to make a decision - continue or move on?

I once became frustrated and yes, angry with Yi and I just said I don't need to know the past, I don't need to know what's happening right now, I NEED to know the future!!!!! The answer I received was H64... LINES 5 AND 6. In Wilhelm's book, there's a footnote under the last line. The last sentence of that footnote, and of Book I, reads..."The Book of Changes is a book of the future." LOL!!!!! Yi, you're such a joker! Seriously, the oracle and I have a very personal relationship!

I'm sure in my many years with the oracle, I've asked a million "unhelpful" questions, yet I've still received powerful and accurate information. I guess Yi has some compassion and sympathy for my ignorance!
 

tenama

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I personally think that YI doesn't need question. His answer would be the same if we formulated question differently. However, the problem is "we", "us" and our intepretation. Our mind is too closed with one particular question and we often don't see possible variability (or variabilities) with interpretation.

There's no "unhelpful" questions. There's "unhelpful" interpretations. We often overuse YI and ask too many questions and as a result, we use less and less mind to think about methapors in YI hexagrams.
Yi is never direct. There's no yes and no question with him. There's plenty of possibilities that can happen and that possibilities change with every day we live. Because of that, the more accurate is to ask about here and now, because here and now don't have that many "living" options.

(p.s. I'm not used to write in English, hope I was understandable enough. :) )
 

CristinaO

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Dear Hilary,
Thanks for being so generous in sharing your knowledge on Yi. I have just started to learn the I Ching and, you got it, I have started with a question on relationship: what kind of approach should I have with this relationship, what should I expect from this relationship? The response was 44.1,5>14
I have asked it because I feel I run too much driven by the inner need of love and affection, without considering the other person's feelings. The outcome after less than 2 months is that this man got scared and prevented something. Thanks to this I became conscious of this insane dynamic that comes up recurrently everytime I perceive an interest on me. As I don't want if possible to ruin this opportunity as well and, because I like this person, I did ask that question to Yi. I hope you can help me to read and understand Yi's reply with hexagrams 44 with changing lines 1 and 5 that becomes hexagram 14.
As I strive to be positive I don't want to misunderstand the response, just because I desire a promising good answer.
Thank you in advance for your kind support

CristinaO
 

Brendon

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i guess this blog would prove to be very helpful for the people who are turning in and out in circle of relationship, this would give them certain ideas regarding how to go about it.
 

Riddle

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Very useful article - it helps when one gets a reading which is quite explicit in terms of a relationship question (I got 52, then waited a couple of weeks and got 5 - both unchanging).

The fact they were both quite direct replies helped me understand them I feel. I must've asked a good question!
 

altair139

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I read this and finally asked "What should I do about this broken relationship"
I got hexagram 47 - exhaustion, changing line 5 and transformed hexagram 40 - liberation
I guess it's time for me to move on?
 

Riddle

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Not necessarily, but as the article points out you shouldn't fire countless questions at the iching about the same topic - it's almost as if you've been warned that YOU face exhaustion. Leave it a week or so, clear your head and think of a question for the iching. Be calm when you ask it and then do some research into the answer you're given - do not ask another one immediately after but think about the one you've been given.
 

birch_tree

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Thank you so much for this post. It is very helpful.
 

solivini

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Solid advice, Hilary. Thank you so much for this insightful posting.
 

azzimm

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I take issue with the "moralistic" notion in your lessons and sort of here that you shouldn't ask about the other person's feeling-"spying you called it- Horary astTROLOGY is an other divination tool equal to I Ching though you only get a chart not advise. Thousands of clienSt have asked about other people all kind of questions. i.e. how they feel about whatever--planets in their first house accurately describe and have been verified. HORARY IS MUCH MORE OBJECTIVE THAN THE I CHING TOTALLY IMPERSONAL, if someone asks a question about what someone is doing in regards to me and the I Ching in what you regard as deeper wisdom gives me answer that tells me not to bother with this person, THEN THE I CHING IS NOT ALL IT'S CRACKED UP TO BE. answer if the I ching is telling me she's psychotic- stay away.-PURSUE YOUR OWN PATH That's NOT the I Ching's business.I have A RIGHT to get an objective answer and I decide whether I want to pursue a "nut Case" IN HORAY THIS DILEMMA DOES NOT ARISE. iT WILL TELL ME IF SHE IS MENTALLY DISTURBED AND THEIR IS NO AMBIGUITY ABOUT WHO ITS REFERRING TO AS YOU CLAIM HAPPENS IN ASKING RELATIONSHIP QUESTIONS OF THE I cHING.
 

hilary

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It sounds as though you should stick to horary astrology, then.

As I said in email, it's a matter of whether you regard an oracle as a tool for your use, or a being that speaks. If you want a tool that will always behave according to the rules you set for it, never offer unsolicited advice, never tell you things you didn't want to hear, then the Yi is definitely not for you.
 

Trojina

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It sounds as though you should stick to horary astrology, then.

:rofl:


Although the thing is it is not possible to say who is a psychopath or not using horary astrology or indeed astrology at all. There really isn't any alignment or configuration of the planets that spells out 'psychopath'. You might look at the chart of a psychopath and speculate as an exercise but the fact is there is nothing in astrology at all that is a sure indicator of psychopathy. People could have the exact same configurations and one be a psychopath and one not.


Horary astrology is astrology where you construct a chart for the exact time of a question. There will still be no indication whatsoever of whether a person is a psychopath or not.

So
.I have A RIGHT to get an objective answer and I decide whether I want to pursue a "nut Case" IN HORAY THIS DILEMMA DOES NOT ARISE. iT WILL TELL ME IF SHE IS MENTALLY DISTURBED

No it won't. If you want to find out if she is a psychopath, and I am picking up that is what you do think and seek confirmation for, then you can find out by seeing what she does although in the end I don't think anyone can truly be labelled a psychopath unless they are diagnosed as such by a psychiatrist.
 

rosada

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I have often used the I Ching to interpret horary charts. It's a great help for integrating all the various possibilities shown by the planets.
 

moss elk

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if the I ching is telling me she's psychotic- stay away.-PURSUE YOUR OWN PATH That's NOT the I Ching's business.
:rofl:
Yes, of course.
Yi must have forgotten that YOU are the one who decides what you should be told. Maybe you should give the spirits a knuckle sandwich. Good luck with that.
 

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