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Dealing with sadness and other negative feelings

joang

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Dear Learner,
I am sorry you are feeling so sad, and I hope your move to Brazil erases all your unhappiness, my friend. But if it does not, there is something you can do about it. You can choose to not let those sad memories spoil the present. As Dr. Wayne Dyer says, other people and events can make you feel sad, hurt, angry, etc., only if you let them. They can?t control your emotions; only you can do that, provided you want to.

Regaining control of your emotions takes a bit of practice at first. Each time you feel a negative thought/emotion creeping in, you will need to banish it again and again, refuse to entertain it for even a minute. Eventually, they stay away. But every day there may be new ones to take their place. Hence, as I have to keep reminding myself, there is need for eternal vigilance. As the I Ching (W/B) says in hex 59:

?When an individual discovers within himself the beginnings of alienation from others, of misanthropy and ill humor, he must set about dissolving these obstructions. He must rouse himself inwardly, hasten to that which supports him. Such support is never found in hatred, but always in a moderate and just judgment of men, linked with good will. If he regains this unobstructed outlook on humanity, while at the same time all saturnine ill humor is dissolved, all occasion for remorse disappears.?

Our negative emotions not only harm us spiritually, but also physically, as scientific evidence has shown. It is therefore hard to understand why we humans cling to them and find it so difficult to let them go. Methinks it must be the ego that derives some sort of satisfaction from feeling self-pity, righteous indignation, resentment, anger, hatred, and such. But whatever it is, it CAN be overcome by making a conscious choice. You can do it. We can all do it. Let us choose joy and positive abundance.

Namaste,
Joan G.
 

learner

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Dear Joang,

It has been a time of significant discoveries in my life, since I asked the I Ching about how the situation that I have been through would likely evolve and then I received Hex 47.
One of the most important of them is the generous support that came from many friends in this forum, which proved to be not only helpful to bear the difficult circumstances but also timely to give me a broader view on the pain-releasing process.
You are absolutely right when you point out that anger, sadness and resentment set in our lives because we let them to. This is exactly what I was doing, as if unconsciously clinging to them in the mistaken belief that I could not let them go would be the only perspective.
But raising awareness is possible and I have been working it out.
Surprisingly, by asking the I Ching again why it was taking me so long time to overcome the negative feelings and emotions I received Hex 59, Dispersion. It seems to me that this was to draw my attention, again, to the means for achieving consciousness.

And I am glad to see that Hex 59 is exactly the one that you quote in your post:

?When an individual discovers within himself the beginnings of alienation from others, of misanthropy and ill humor, he must set about dissolving these obstructions. He must rouse himself inwardly, hasten to that which supports him. Such support is never found in hatred, but always in a moderate and just judgment of men, linked with good will. If he regains this unobstructed outlook on humanity, while at the same time all saturnine ill humor is dissolved, all occasion for remorse disappears.?

Thank you so much, Joang. I truly believe that I am on my way now, perhaps a bit slowly but certainly leading me to a consistent change.

All the best,
Mirian
 

cal val

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Mirian...

59 is about forgiveness. The reasons we feel anger toward others and ourselves are all illusions. When we realize that and forgive ourselves and others, the anger is naturally replaced with love and joy. It takes love to forgive...love for yourself, love for everyone, love for everything.

Cheerio the noo,

Val
 

learner

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Hello Val,

Good point you made there. It appears that from the moment that I started to release the pain and to let go the anger and negative emotions a strange feeling of emptiness began to shape in my heart and soul, as if I were completely devoid of feelings. Perhaps, not deliberately, I swept everything away. Being aware, I will be able of turning that into a passing phase, as brief as possible. Yes, you are right, love and joy must be replaced with the help of forgiveness.

I do not know why, but that reminded of Hex 13 fifth changing line in Wilhelm?s translation, which says:

"Life leads the thoughtful man on a path of many windings. Now the course is checked, now it runs straight again. Here winged thoughts may pour freely forth in words, There the heavy burden of knowledge must be shut away in silence. But when two people are at one in the inmost hearts, They shatter even the strength of iron or of bronze. And when two people understand each other in their inmost hearts, Their words are sweet and strong, like the fragrance of orchids."

By the way, is the I Ching romantic? *grin *

All the best,
Mirian
 

learner

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PS:

And that reminded of a quotation by British novelist Virginia Woolf:

?One can not find peace by avoiding life?

Sorry, I am just in a thread of thoughts. *grin *
 

joang

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Yes Val,
you are right; forgiveness is a necessary ingredient. Until you forgive, you cannot forget. Think of all the bloody wars that have been fought and are still being fought, because people cannot or will not forgive and forget past misdeeds. People love to hate. They revel in it. Does anyone know why that is?

Namaste,
Joan G.
 

joang

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I just got this e-mail from a friend on a mail list. It fits right in with this discussion.

"I saw an interview with Yoko Ono a while ago. She is 70 years old, looks forty and seemed so happy and at peace. The interviewer asked her what she did to keep herself in such incredible shape. She told him that she had learned years ago that when anyone bothered her, was mean to her or did something to hurt her she would spend time each night "praying" for that person.
She found that helped her more than anything else in her life. I thought it was strange but gave it a try and have to admit it has made a large difference.
Even those with no formal religious beliefs can spend time sending energy waves or good thoughts to those who have caused us the most anger. I don't know if this will help you but it has made a major difference in some of my more frustrating and maddening family relationships...and I had run out of pins to stick in all of my voodoo dolls!"


Hmmm. Energy waves and good thoughts. That's certainly worth a try. And I know just the family member to try it on.

Namaste,
Joan G.
 

joang

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A further thought. Speaking for myself, as an average human being, it is easier to forgive than to love the object of one?s anger or hatred. To love thine enemy is the ideal; but the path of least resistance, POLR, is to forgive. Going from hatred directly to love, would be like a sudden change in polarity. Sudden change can and does happen, e.g., lightning; but gradual change seems to be the POLR in nature, and therefore the Tao. And actually, on an atomic and nanosecond level, even lightning is the result of the gradual buildup of tension between Yin and Yang.

So for me, to forgive, to forget, and then to love would be the natural progression, the POLR in dealing with an enemy, whoever or whatever it is.

Namaste,
Joan G.
 
D

dharma

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THE MAZE

One morning, a young man came to the Master saying, "Master, I wish to understand my path on earth better. I wish to know why it is that I seem to carry my past and re-live it again and again. Why is it that I cannot get past my past?"

The Master smiled at the young man who seemed to be earnestness itself. "Go forward into the Maze in the garden. But carry this backpack as you walk the maze. It will help you stay focused and balanced. Be careful as it is quite heavy though," the Master said.

The young man took the backpack from the Master who handed it over quite easily. But when the young man had it firmly in his grasp he was astonished at how heavy it really was! Placing the shoulder straps over his arms and bent over from the sheer weight of the pack, he strode
towards the Maze. He was surprised to see it was not a garden maze, but was built of silk panels that were nearly translucent.

The young man paused before entering the maze and then stood and walked into it. Immediately he found himself facing a solid wall of silk. However, he could see just enough through the silk to other areas of the maze to make out others there at the same time. He could "see" them and hear them but they were not part of his path.

The weight upon his shoulders reminded him of why he was there, so he put the thoughts of the others out of his head. Walking forward, he found himself hopelessly trapped. It seemed that no matter which direction he walked, there was no way to proceed forward. Baffled the young man sat down and pondered his situation.

'The Master told me to walk the maze but it seems unwalk-able. Yet, there are others here who are obviously ahead of me. They must have figured out a way to get through this section. How did they do that? Are they smarter than I am? Did they cheat? Did they crawl under the silk, as that would be really a simple matter and who would ever know?'

The young man weighed his options and then rose, deciding to not sneak under the silk. As he stood and turned, an opening appeared before him as though by magic and he moved forward.

Soon, he faced another series of solid silk panels and could see no opening or direction to walk other than the one he had come from. Again he sat down and thought of his situation. He had gotten through the first test he felt, by reflecting upon his options and then choosing to take the one that was for his highest good. Stating again his affirmation that he would desire to walk the maze only with positive intent he stood, ready to face his opening. But none was there. He still faced a blank series of panels.

The young man was baffled. He had felt that surely he would be rewarded as before for his desire to proceed only within his highest good. The weight of his backpack cut into his shoulders, bringing him sharply back to reality. What was it that weighed so much? What had the Master placed in it to weigh it down? Rocks? Bricks? It did not feel hard and unforgiving like those items, it felt soft yet heavy. What could possibly be soft and yielding yet heavy enough to weigh him down like this?

Pulling the backpack off of his shoulders, he opened it and peaked inside. 'The Master did not tell to not look,' he reasoned. It was EMPTY! Yet it had weight!

'How could this be', he wondered. Picking it back up, he again felt how heavy it was yet it was empty! Again he glanced inside and this time felt with his hands. Empty!

But the weight!!!

Placing it upon his shoulders he stood. He asked himself what it was that he had just learned from this experience. He heard a voice clearly say, 'Look inside of you, young man, for the weight lies there,' he was told.

As he walked he looked at his life and his path. He thought of his childhood and the friends and enemies who had caused him harm. He thought of how stuck he had been by their feelings of him, their attitudes towards him. He remembered how angry he was with one particular boy who had taunted him unmercifully. This boy was hated to this day by the young man. The pack became even heavier as the student re-created and re-lived the experience within his mind and heart.

'Ahhhh. I understand now. I carry the weight of that which burdens me. I am the weight! I therefore have it within me to unburden myself as well.' The student was joyous with this insight and then saw and walked his way through a series of panels of silk.

He thought of how he could unburden the weight of those he still despised and resented for their treatment of him. He knew that they were not there with him in the maze so he could not expect them to say, 'I am sorry" and thus lessen the weight and allow him to go forward easily.

"I forgive you, wherever you are,' he found himself saying to his own amazement. The weight of the pack lessened immediately and he was able to walk without bending forward at the waist.

'Ah ha!' the young one exclaimed. 'Through my intent to forgive, I unburden myself of this weight which hinders my journey. But how can this be? For they were the ones who wronged me. Yet my forgiving of them unweights me?' The young one's head swum with the implications. And another series of openings appeared before him in the panels of silk. His pack was considerably lighter, but still weighed enough for his mind to stay focused upon it.

'Oh, Great Spirit, I ask you to help me see what it is that you are showing me here. How do I make my way through this maze? How do I release myself of the full weight that I carry with me?' It was at that moment that a beam of sunlight hit him squarely in the face, warming him.

He suddenly realized that his pack had lightened again with the warmth of the sun! 'What does this mean, God? Why do you lighten my pack with sunlight? What are you showing me?'

It was then that he found himself re-membering a "woman" that he had kissed when he was thirteen. It was his first kiss of adulthood and he remembered her clearly. His heart raced with the remembrance of her taste upon his lips and his love for her. His pack lightened considerably this time.

'Thank you God for your considerable wisdom in this. I see now how I am to unburden myself completely. It is through my loving AND forgiving those who have been in my way and have wronged me previously. It is not their wronging of me that has hindered me. It is my holding on to that wronging that has stopped me. By seeing myself as one who has been wronged, I could not go forward in the maze. And by seeing myself as one who was without love, I could not lessen the weight of the pack. As I forgive and bring love within me, I make my journey easier.'

The young man felt his heart swell in size as he felt these insights. He felt his heart race with joy, as it knew its lesson to him was being heard.

The pack weighed nothing now and the young man took it off and held it lightly in his hands. He stood before a solid silk wall now and could see neither an opening nor his way to where he had just come from. He was surrounded by solid silk!

However, instead of panicking, he sat and breathed in this mantra:

"I Am the light and the Way.
I carry within me all manner of healing and knowing.
It is through this healing and knowing that I make my way through this earthly maze.
I am able to carry forth of the journey through this maze and
I am able to release my entrapment.
I alone have the ability to solve this riddle and I ask now to have it done.
I breathe in full acceptance of my path and its possibilities, God.
I recognize that I was the impediment, not anyone or anything else.
I am LIGHT and I am LOVE.
Thus being so FREES me and allows me to soar above the physical realm.
In this I re-discover myself which is my True Self, God.
Thank you for helping me to see this. I so love you."

At this, the young man felt his feet rise slightly above the earth! He floated above the silk panels and could clearly see the others stuck within the maze.

Their darknesses were carried around in their own packs and held them stuck. His head swum with the implications of what was happening to him at that moment. But he focused not on that, but on the fact that he was flying! He was soaring! He was above the earth in his lightness! He was outside of the Maze!

Spying the ground around the maze, he thought of being there and staying outside of the maze. And at once, he was. By thinking it and seeing it, it became.

The Master was at his side as he touched down.

"Master, thank you for placing my weight so severely upon my shoulders as you did. Were it not so heavy, I would have gladly carried it longer and longer for it would have not hindered me all that much. But as it weighed me down so greatly, I had to get rid of the weight first before I could do anything else."

"How did you free yourself of your weight, my son?" the Master asked. His face was alight with joy and love as he did so. " I found myself forgiving those who had wronged me, Master. It was my pain in response to their actions that made me hold on to the pain inside of myself. When I let it go, Master, I watched it soar away from me and felt myself growing lighter." The student's face shone with love as he spoke.

"Ah," said the Master. "And what of the maze itself? That is impossible to walk through. There is no way out."

"Oh, Master. The most beautiful thing happened. I began to fly after losing the weight. I saw myself as light and love itself as I found it within me to forgive and forget those that had harmed me, had wronged me. It was my darkness that had caused my weight and it was my lightness that freed me to fly. By BEING light and love, I floated, Master and found myself outside of the maze. I was freed from its confines; above its entrapments. Master, I see now that I cause my own weight, that hold me down. That I keep me trapped in my past. That I, alone, am responsible for the manner in which I walk this maze. By releasing those entrapping thoughts, those weighting down feelings and allowing me to feel love and light, I soared above it all.

Did I do wrong by getting out of the maze in this way, Master?" The young man was earnestness itself as he awaited the Master's answer.

"What do YOU feel, young one?" the Master answered with a smile. "Do YOU feel freed from the Maze?"

With that, the Master strode away before hearing the young one's reply. He knew that whatever the young one answered would give him further insight as to his own journey. And this is as it should be.
 

learner

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Hello Joan,

Being a kind of slow person (*grin*), I liked the smooth POLR perspective. The idea of a gradual path going from anger to love through forgiveness fits me perfectly. Actually, I do not consider anyone as an enemy at the moment. The worst enemies are lying beneath....

I enjoyed the energy waves and good thoughts proposal as well!

All the best,
Mirian
 

cal val

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Dharma...

Was this young man's master wearing a grey robe and hanging out murmuring with a bunch of other guys in grey robes by any chance?

Don't have to answer...it's just a rhetorical way of saying I can relate. *grin*

Another great parable. Thank you!

With love,

Val
 

joang

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Dharma,
you hit another grand slam home-run with that wonderful parable, my friend. You are amazing!

Namaste,
Joan G.
 
D

dharma

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Val & Joan,
thank-you and you're both most welcome. Your heart-felt appreciation is encouraging and valued on my end too!

What is truly amazing is the synchronicity and serendipity of life itself. I didn't have to go looking for this tale... I merely had a sincere desire to add in some useful way to this discussion and the next thing I knew it literally dropped into my hold.

I've made a habit of expecting the best from life and nothing less and life consistently surrenders that very same outlook right back to me. I kid you not. But no matter how many times wonders happen to and around me, I still stand in awe at it All; it's exciting when you let it be!


Dharma
 

martin

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I have a friend who is very much into A Course in Miracles. He talks a lot about forgiveness, the need to forgive.
I don't see the point ...
People irritate me sometimes and I may shout at them but I don't blame them. The fact that they irritate me doesn't mean that I feel that they did anything wrong.
It's like the rain that happens to fall on my head, did the rain anything wrong because I became wet?

So, I think there _is_ nothing to forgive ...

??

Martin
 

joang

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Hey, Martin,
that sounds like a very comfortable approach to the issue, my friend. If you have never felt anger or hatred toward anyone or anything, you are either extremely fortunate or completely pure and enlightened. I tip my hat to you. But most of us still have to deal with strong negative feelings, aside from minor irritations, from time to time. :)

Namaste,
Joan G.
 

martin

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Hi Joan,

Forgive me
, I didn't explain it very well.

I have tried to "forgive" sometimes, but I always felt the same: this doesn't mean anything, it's an empty gesture.
Perhaps it felt like that because I realized that "I forgive you" implies "you have done it!".
It's like saying "I judge you but I will not judge you". Now, what does that mean?
I free you but I will keep you imprisoned?
Double bind?

Whatever the reason, it doesn't feel good, it feels like just another way to "poor the empty in to the void".
I guess forgiveness is supposed to be something that one feels in the heart - like love - but
where is it, really? Perhaps it is more a thought than a real feeling.

Martin
 

joang

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Sure Martin, you?re forgiven. :)
Maybe I didn?t explain myself clearly either. I agree, the statement ?I forgive,? by itself, is hollow. Unless there is a true change of heart, mind and attitude, merely saying the words is ineffectual at best, and a lie at worst. Without truth, the words are useless; with truth, the words themselves are unnecessary. It is the thoughts and feelings inside you that matter.

Forgiving is something you do for yourself, because negative feelings harm your own body, mind and spirit. It does not require notifying the person, institution or object of your anger, that you have forgiven them. Moreover, forgiveness need not necessarily involve a judgment as to the guilt or innocence of the offender. Their past deeds are their problem. My problem is to find a way to change my harmful negative thoughts/feelings about whatever happened.

One way to do that is to change my perspective; step out of the place of the injured ego; look at the matter objectively; see it from the other?s position. In that way I may come to understand what they did, and thereby be able to forgive it, even if I personally disagree with their reasons. To understand does not mean to condone. And forgiving does not mean absolving the other of their responsibility for their actions. That is best left to a higher power.

Namaste,
Joan G.
 

cal val

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Dear Joan and Martin...

Joan you said:

"Forgiving is something you do for yourself, because negative feelings harm your own body, mind and spirit."

My experience exactly! You said it so well!

"It does not require notifying the person, institution or object of your anger, that you have forgiven them.

Again, my experience exactly! Furthermore, it's been my experience that the forgiving began with myself...forgiving myself for my feelings of anger, sadness, fear and pain and for acting them out rather than just feeling them and letting them go. That done, forgiving others was a natural, easy process.

"Moreover, forgiveness need not necessarily involve a judgment as to the guilt or innocence of the offender."

When I understood that and understood that I was perceiving myself as the "guilty offender" as well...guilty of the simple natural act of feeling, the forgiving began. Again...well said.


"My problem is to find a way to change my harmful negative thoughts/feelings about whatever happened."

I did just that by listening to myself with love and trust and letting myself feel them and let them go.

You're a wise woman Joan.

Martin, Joan said:

Unless there is a true change of heart, mind and attitude, merely saying the words is ineffectual at best, and a lie at worst. Without truth, the words are useless; with truth, the words themselves are unnecessary. It is the thoughts and feelings inside you that matter.

The change of heart happens quite naturally if you listen to your heart.

With much love to you both,

Val
 

martin

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Dear Val and Joan,

Thank you very much for your thoughts. Yes, I understand, I recognize the healing process.
The only thing is that I wouldn't use terms like "to forgive" or "forgiveness" in this context.
And I think that goes deeper than semantics, it's not just that we use different words.
What goes on inside is also different, although the result is perhaps in many ways the same.
But that is difficult to explain, without going into a lengthy discourse about all and everything and nothing and so and so on.
So, I'll wait now and let it sink in. I hope that something less complicated will pop out soon ...


Martin
 

joang

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Val, you wrote:
"Furthermore, it's been my experience that the forgiving began with myself...forgiving myself for my feelings of anger, sadness, fear and pain and for acting them out rather than just feeling them and letting them go. That done, forgiving others was a natural, easy process."

I'm glad you mentioned that, my friend. It reminded me that I have a habit of blaming myself for everything, and that's not good either. Thanks for bringing it to mind.

Namaste,
Joan G.
 

martin

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Something popped up ...
"I forgive" feels like an empty gesture to me. While I was trying to figure out why I discovered that blaming (others or myself) is also empty and meaningless for me.
In fact, and that is strange, I seem to have forgotten how to do it!

I can get irritated and say "stop doing that!" but that's all.
Apart from the irritation (which is in most cases short-lived) it's neutral, there is no blame, no judgment, no heavy emotional overload.
So, what I wrote earlier - there is nothing to forgive - is probably to the point.

Blaming and forgiving are two sides of the same coin. I think that animals don't have that coin.
They don't blame or forgive, it's not a natural thing.
I'm sure that I had and used the coin in the past, I must have lost it somewhere on the way.
Where? when? I can guess. But why didn't I notice the loss until now? Strange ...

End of this pop-up, more later perhaps


Martin
 

joang

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Martin,
May I venture a guess as to what bothers you about the terms "to forgive" and "forgiveness"? I think perhaps they create an image in your mind of a priest in a pulpit piously pontificating about the altruistic virtue of forgiveness. Is that it? The reason I think so is because I have a problem with that image myself. So, if you can come up with a better term for what this discussion is all about, which is not about altruism, I for one would welcome it.

Namaste,
Joan G.
 

joang

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Martin, I pasted the above before I read your last post, so apparently it was a swing and a miss. If you have never experienced a heavy emotional overload, never felt the snake writhing in your belly, you are indeed extremely fortunate and have no need to concern yourself further with this topic. I wish you continued joy.

Namaste,
Joan G.
 

heylise

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Martin, could it be that you left the straight line of time? The one that goes from birth to an inevitable death? Entered the circle, or cycle, or spiral or whatever it is of mythological time? Because there no blame or such things exist.
Ask your dog.
LiSe
 

martin

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Well Joan, I think you did hit something with your swing.

Distorted religion ...

"You should all feel very sorry and ask forgiveness for the fact that you exist! Go home and repent!"
Hmmm, who needs such a message?

Thank you for your wishes, Joan. But I do feel snakes in my belly sometimes.
And of course butterflies at other times *grin*.
No life without emotion!

Be blessed,
Martin
 

martin

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Hey Lise, only two minutes between our posts!
My computer did poing (signal for new mail) while I posted mine.

Left the line of time? Don't know, could be.
For about 4 (earthly) years I indeed had the feeling that I was continuously going back and forth between this and the other side.
But I have no map that shows me where I was or where I am now.
I also have no dog ...


Martin
 

pedro

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Dear all,

Ive been trying to deal with sadness all my life. In fact, being so joyful has made me quite helpless against sadness and depression. I know these feelings well, they are familiar and even helpful, if one doesn't succumb.
Lately Ive been going through a process of deep change, which I now realize has been thoroughly explained by Edgar Cayce's anatomy of inspiration, or the 8 phases of kundalinic growth. Anyway, the point I want to stress is this: the reason why we fail to choose the right path that would bring joyful contentment for good, is because that path starts with the very thing we want to avoid - PAIN!
Its like one is not likely to search inside for the answers (we all know the cliche' that all answers are within, maybe we dont even dispute it, but very rarely will we actually put this knowledge to practical use and really go inside ourselves for the answer...).
One will continue to find ways to circumvent pain, as one (obviously) feels that we're better off without it.

Yet, its only when we decide to try that last path (after all others have proven dead-ends, in fact its probably necessary to try all other roads, indulging, sticking the head in the sand, whatever, before this one shows itself as inevitable), that we find the real path. And the path IS through pain. Like someone, I cant remember now, said, all pain is worth investigating, and it is through observing pain, delving into it, tasting it, exploring it, savoring it, that we come to the real understandment.

Pain is the way out of the ego, cause its when we resist the ego that pain arises. But if we sedate ourselves with pain-killers, we're not gonna suppress the causes of our discomfort, but merely the symptoms. The disease will not cure itself, quite the opposite, it will gain new strength. We will just be avoiding whatever it is we need to deal with. Cheating our life purpose wont work (and we know that avoiding the lessons we have to learn, the lessons that make each one's purpose in this life, painful as they may be, will not make them go away, but will simply postpone them, and we all know this life is limited, time urges, and procrastination isn't a solution)

So "if youre feeling bad... GOOD!" it means you are on the right track.

PS: Im working on an article that deals with this. I hope to post it here soon
 

pedro

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oh, one other thing, this usually helps:



... for me at least
 

joang

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Martin my friend,
I apologize for being impatient with you, and I would like to take another swing, please.
I agree with you that blaming and forgiving are linked together; if you aren?t blaming, there is nothing to forgive. But then you go on to imply that you never get angry or blame anyone or anything. I am finding that very hard to believe, as it falls far outside the norm of human behavior.

Perhaps the problem is that we are mixing apples and oranges in this discussion... i.e., minor passing irritations versus major troublesome events. The examples you cite fall into the apple category, whereas we are discussing oranges here. Most normal people would shrug off a passing irritation, just as you do. But the things that usually induce lasting anger, hatred and blaming are the kind in which ?Stop doing that? either doesn?t apply or doesn?t work.

For example, ?Stop doing that? doesn?t apply in an isolated devastating event, such as someone tossing a firebomb into your house. In another type of situation, ?Stop doing that? applies, but it doesn?t work. Take for example, this story of a man who went to see a lawyer and said he wanted to divorce his wife. The lawyer asked why, and the man replied that she had burned his pork chops the previous evening. The lawyer remarked that her merely burning the pork chops would be insufficient grounds for divorce. To which the man replied, ?It wasn?t those burned pork chops, it was 20 years of burned pork chops.? In other words, a never-ending repetition of a minor irritation can eventually turn it into a source of anger, etc.

So Martin, if you truly never have experienced oranges, you have led an incredibly charmed life, and you must have great karma. If you have experienced oranges and still managed to remain free of negative thoughts/feelings, it might indicate that you have advanced to a state of impressive spiritual prowess. If so, you are in a position to teach us something. I am all ears.
:)

Namaste,
Joan G.
 

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