Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom
Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).
I asked a question about why I'm still hung up on the idea of someone and got 27.6
I don't want to be hung up. I am very happy when I am too busy to even entertain thoughts about the idea of this person. I say idea because the actual person and the ideas in my head are completely different things.
So, what does 27.6 counsel?
I had felt in the presence of this person like I had no will of my own and like my whole purpose was to serve their purpose. This had freaked me out massively as you can imagine. This person is someone popular who I've gathered many people feel this same way about. You sort of feel like a rabbit in the headlights. Caught, brainless.
Can other people manipulate other people's will so that it feeds their need for attention do you think?
Dear PG, I'd hazard a guess that what you are experiencing isn't caused by the other person at all, but by something your own psyche is starving to possess. If you read LiSe on this line she explains, for example, that if your soul is starving nothing is really satisfying, though you may crave a thousand things you can't have while, if your soul is content, very little is fulfilling. Is there something inside that simply wants what you can't have? That happens to many of us. If you look into the realm of psychology you will find this is an outgrowth of some emotional fulfillment you deserved and didn't have as a child. From personal experience I can point to a time in my life that I wanted to be close to other people who were distant, detached, or somehow out of reach. On investigation I found that this comes from an emptiness created by the absence of both my parents when I was very young -- one physically not present and the other emotionally unavailable. That cleared up a lot and now, looking at people who magnetise my interest I know enough to decide whether that interest is real and balanced or motivated by that old sense of having been abandoned when I was a toddler.
By the way, I think you have hit the nail on the head when you say you are sometimes too busy to think about this person. These psychological traps are usually waiting for us when we aren't focused on our own lives enough. Get out there and meet more people, do the things you love most and the craving for relationships that don't serve a real purpose will diminish and disappear. You are obviously able to pick out what isn't worthwhile for you -- you've even thought someone is stealing your soul. And something is diminishing your freedom, but it all happened a long while ago I'd imagine, when you were a tiny child and you can't readily relate what you are feeling now with the actual cause.
I think you missed the bit where I spoke about other people who seem to be influenced in the same way by this person.
Recently, I was speaking with the person who introduced us and after hearing yet another ridiculously sycophantic story, I just had to ask "Is he like some sort of guru in your group or what?!" expecting to be told to eff off for being rude. But no. She said, "Yes", and nodded enthusiastically. Just like that.
I've met many people since meeting this person and I don't crave a relationship with this person at all, I think we would be a terrible combination. I just want him out of my head. It's like having a mosquito in your brain.
Can other people manipulate other people's will so that it feeds their need for attention do you think?
of course ... what is the sole purpose of make-up (eg.) if not drawing attention and manipulate man ?
And the telling point that connects this to your story is that this seems to be what Hexagram 27.6 is saying to you as well.
Thing is, I don't usually want what I can't have. It always seemed to me a colossal waste of time to do that. On the other hand, I have been reminded of couple of other instances where I just couldn't get some people out of my head for the longest time and to this day I don't actually understand what went on there. One of them was a close friend who I did want to be with but it was all complicated way way complicated and we never got together in that way. The other was a guy I had a massive crush on and who finally asked me out but I turned him down and spent the next 5-6 years still obsessing about. Um. This does make me sound crazy akshully. lol Perhaps you are right, perhaps it is some childhood abandonment issue I've got to cleanse out of my system. Sure beats people using my life force for their elevenses
Hex 27.6 -- an association that makes you feel unwilingly attached to somebody you don't want around you. A sort of human "attractor beam" that is T-ing you off with some weird magnetism you feel is unwholesome. I'd start by checking back before age five and see if that rings any bells. Arabella
Thank you Arabella for your time and thoughtful comments. You are giving me much to think about.
The first thing that came to my mind about before the age of five that was massively traumatic, was my then best friend, Sandra, being transferred to an older class without telling me and thus effectively ending our friendship. Even though I then made my parents transfer me to the older class too, my friendship with Sandra never recovered. We had talked about how we wanted to be transferred but somehow her dad had arranged this and she never told me about it. One day, she simply wasn't in my class anymore (this was in nursery). I was hurt beyond words and when I asked her about it she was stand offish and like she didn't owe me an explanation. And before that we were really close and had a very intense bond. I still to this day don't understand how and why she suddenly didn't want to be my friend. She was like my little mentor, I guess she felt she had to look after me, she was the one who taught me how to tie my shoelaces because my mother and father were useless at it lol.
But none of that resembles this situation in any way. Except for the part where there seems to be some intense vibe going on but absolutely no attempt to address it in any way. So maybe that's it?
I'm betting though you just saw this guy coming -- and you could turn this off in a heartbeat now that you know it's probably some old "buggaboo" from childhood that has nothing to do with the real, adult you.
who is bradford and who is LiSe - and
where do i find their work? thanks
Never saw it coming to be honest. And I do wish I could just turn this off, but the truth of it is that just dialing it down takes all my energy and mental effort. And then, just as I congratulate myself on finally getting my act together, it sneaks back in and rocks my equilibrium all over again. I'm starting to finally understand why most people don't like to be alone but need to fill their hours with other people in activities. I've never been uncomfortable with my own thoughts and feelings before, however unpleasant, but with this, it's just there, as soon as I pause for breath and only if I'm completely engaged in something else does it disappear for the time. It's been a year. I'm exhausted.
Maybe you could compose a new question though and ask the Yi more about what you need to be entirely satisfied with YOU and have an internal fortress of wellbeing that makes snake oil salesmen like this one obsolete?
So purely by coincidence, I came across a paper at work today that talks about narcissism and specifically manifestations of narcissism in physical appearance. doi: 10.1016/j.jrp.2008.06.007 if you are interested (and have access). Basically the paper claims that one of the main characteristics of narcissism is the excessive concern with personal appearance and excessive time/money spent on personal grooming, clothes, make up etc and that somehow this combines to give clues as to the narcissistic nature of the person in their looks (they did some experiments where they showed people photographs and asked them if they thought the person in the photo was a narcissist and basically got statistically significant results to indicate that narcissism can be recognised through visual clues (although they couldn't be sure what cues observes used to make their observations, but they got it right a lot of the time and that's what counts. lol they let anyone publish papers these days)
In light of that, I don't think this dude falls into the narcissist category (although my ex Most Definitely does, make that All my exes..) because if he does spend a lot of time thinking about what to wear, you'd never know to look at him. And he only ever shaves once a year as far as I can tell.
Further, the paper claims that narcissism is associated with vanity, exhibitionism and status-seeking and a host of aggressive maladaptive behaviours resulting from real or perceived ego-threats as to make narcissist quite unpopular with their peers, although they are able to use charm and hide their arrogance in brief encounters. So, the question for next study would be: is every arsehole a narcissist or are some arseholes just garden variety knobends?
A person who has narcissistic tendencies, or who is a narcissist
Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom
Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).