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Help with 25.3>13 My daughter ran away from home

Tina5702

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Hello All! I have been following the board a lot lately and have obtained much information pertaining to the interpretation of the hexagrams. I am now taking a leap of faith and asking for help with a reading of mine because I have been unable to locate much info about the hexagrams I cast concerning this situation.
Thanks in advance for your help.

My daughter turned 16 in December and she is now about to graduate High School. She has a boyfriend that I feel has been influencing her and ways that are not positive. Not only that, his mother has also stepped in and decided to do some influencing as well. Her boyfriends mother talked her out of attending college. I also received a call from her teacher to let me know that she has not been up to par on turning in her school work. She has also been very flip at the mouth and disrespectful. She had been continuously swiping the credit cards when I told her that they were for emergency purposes only. I put her on punishment and took her phone, her credit cards and the car keys. She then decided to curse me and tell me how much she hates me and left the house with her boyfriend. I sent him messages asking him not to leave with her and he also decided to become very blatantly disrespectful to me as well. My daughter then decided that she would go live with her father, who has not really had anything to do with her for the past four years and he happily obliged her in her decision because we have been in an ongoing child support battle for the last couple of years and he feels that this is an opportunity for him to not have to pay child support. The situation has turned very ugly and left me feeling quite broken and dishearten. I asked the I Ching:

What is my place in this situation? 25.3>13
This answer appears to be pretty upfront in saying that I've just been the receipient of bad luck in this situation. I don't quite understand however what hexagram 13 has to do with the situation.

My son just called me and said that my ex-husband is allowing my daughters boyfriend to stay the night at his home tonight with my daughter, which is also one of the reason why she wanted to leave home. I wouldn't allow it. So I asked the I Ching:

Is my ex husband allowing my daughters boyfriend to stay the night with her while she's at his home? 43.6>1
I'm not quite sure how to interpret this. I do feel however that my ex husband would do anything to try to please my daughter in an effort to ensure that he has the upper hand in the child support matter. I'm confused.

How will things work out for my daughter at her fathers home? 29.2>8
It appears that this is saying that things will be like an emotional roller coaster but it appears as if she will hold it together and work it out there.?

After the hateful words that she threw at me I was wondering if I should attend her graduation in a couple of weeks so I asked, will I be attending my daughters graduation and received 8.1.6>42.
I'm confused because line 6 and hexagram 42 seem to contradict. Should I stay or should I go?

I ask because I don't want to cause anymore problems. I would really like to have a peaceful life without all of the emotional turmoil. I'm over and over again trying to find where I went wrong. It's a quite painful situation for me because I truly have given everything I could to my daughter and I feel like she has really turned her back on me when I was the only person who really cared enough to be there for her every need. I don't know what to do. I don't know what route to take in this situation. I asked the I Ching, what do I do next and I received hexagram 5.1>48. I guess I should just work my way through the energy of pain and a broken heart and allow things to be what they are.

Thanks in advance for any help. I really appreciate it.
 
M

mirian

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Tina,

Sorry to hear that you are going through all of that. Here are, briefly, a few ideas about your readings.

What is my place in this situation? 25.3>13

Line 3 is about misfortune that befalls someone through no fault of their own. Basically, you got caught in a series of events that you are not to blame. However, I usually notice with this line that the person in question missed some signs, overlooked a situation, was unaware of potentially negative conditions.

Is my ex husband allowing my daughters boyfriend to stay the night with her while she's at his home? 43.6>1

I think your ex husband is underestimating the whole situation. What appears to be convenient will probably prove otherwise. Line 6 usually brings trouble when you think that everything is all right.

How will things work out for my daughter at her fathers home? 29.2>8

Again, it is no picnic. It is going to be a learning curve.

I asked, will I be attending my daughters graduation and received 8.1.6>42.

I don't think that is a good idea just to retreat and let things go. There is an indication in line 1 that you should put yourself into the situation, showing loyalty to her, sincerity, strength of character. However, there is also a warning in line 6, about lacking leadership, not being able to co-ordinate actions and, as such, missing opportunities and connection.

what do I do next and I received hexagram 5.1>48.

Sit back, relax, allow yourself a respite, as though there is nothing extraordinary to happen ahead.

Hope that helps a bit to reflect on. :bows:
 

Tina5702

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Thanks Miran

You are so correct. I have ignored the signs over and over again in hopes that things will work out. My hesitancy in correcting the problem has caused a huge mess. Now her father has given everything that I took away from her as her punishment, back to her while she's in his care. This is so disheartening. Graduations are suppose to be happy times and I worked so hard to get her to this point and now it's all crumbling in my face.

Thank you soooo much for your reply again Miran. I really do appreciate it.

I just asked the I Ching: Will my daughter be forced to come back home so that I can ensure that she graduates from school and stay on the right path and I received Hexagram 22 unchanging. Perhaps there's still hope. xoxoxoxo
 

Tina5702

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Would line 6 in hexagram 8 be suggesting that she will miss the opportunity to graduate if things are not handled quickly because she's lacking leadership with her father?
 
M

mirian

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Sorry Tina, I am not able to confirm that because you asked the Yi about yourself, if you will be attending her graduation. So my understanding is the Yi was talking to you, about your actions. But -here we go- as you asked quite a few questions, around the same subject, some about you, some about her, the Yi could well be warning that YOU might not attend because there might not be any graduation at all, due to lack of leadership/coordination either from one side or both.

This is a very changeable situation, quite volatile, and I think the Yi is giving you a snapshot of the moment for you to explore and work on.
 
M

mirian

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By the way, about hex 22 un and the question if she will come back home. My personal experience with this reading would tell me that I am only scratching the surface, that my understanding is not deep enough, that my approach is superficial and that I need to look beyond appearances. Again, that is what I've personally noticed with 22un over the years. Hope that helps.
 

Tina5702

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By the way, about hex 22 un and the question if she will come back home. My personal experience with this reading would tell me that I am only scratching the surface, that my understanding is not deep enough, that my approach is superficial and that I need to look beyond appearances. Again, that is what I've personally noticed with 22un over the years. Hope that helps.

Thanks Mirian. I got it together yesterday and decided to gather an army of people to get her back home so that I can insure that she stays on track for the next 3 weeks to graduate school. I told her and her father she needed to be back home asap. A part of me was giving up and this is what I think the leadership line was about. I was giving up and just allowing her to do whatever she felt she wanted to do in hopes that she would soon get the reality of the situation and then come back to her senses. After I got my emotions under control I realized that I had a job to complete and I needed to complete it. There's been way too much hard work and effort put into her life to just quit and allow her in her immaturity to destroy it in a matter of weeks. Thank you so much Mirian for taking the time to respond to me. It's greatly appreciated.
 

Tina5702

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I'm sure that this is not going to be easy but I also know that I have the strength to endure.
 
M

mirian

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Hi Tina, as this is obviously an issue that can far-reaching effects I would ask the Yi what would be the best approach or what you're going to achieve when you put your current plans in practice, because you haven't actually asked HOW you should tackle this, have you?
 

Tina5702

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Hi Tina, as this is obviously an issue that can far-reaching effects I would ask the Yi what would be the best approach or what you're going to achieve when you put your current plans in practice, because you haven't actually asked HOW you should tackle this, have you?

I asked what will I achieve by putting the current plans into action for my daughter and I received 25 unchanging. I've been getting this hex a lot with this situation.
 

Tina5702

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The other day I asked, what should I do about this situation and received 7.1>19 which is why I decided to take this approach. Was this incorrect movement on my part?
 
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mirian

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I asked what will I achieve by putting the current plans into action for my daughter and I received 25 unchanging. I've been getting this hex a lot with this situation.

Well, really sorry to say that, but hex 25 is actually not telling you what you will achieve with this. Personally, I don't think that 25 is good indication for that sort of action that you've got in mind. Hex 25 can be about a situation in which a person is sincere, with good intentions, but can also be quite naive, not streetwise enough. I think that the person in hex 25 is very spontaneous but that alone doesn't mean that you will get what you want. I would think that with this reading any outcome is very much up in the air.
 
M

mirian

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The other day I asked, what should I do about this situation and received 7.1>19 which is why I decided to take this approach. Was this incorrect movement on my part?

I now understand where you are coming from when you said that you have enlisted an army of people to get your daughter back home. In principle, hex 7 suggests a call for action, firm measures, strategic move. But before getting your troops marching on you have to make sure that you have the legitimacy to do so and that your army is well trained and organised to win.

So, you've got line 1 , which contains exactly the warning: do not set off without being sure that your cause is valid (or recognised by others as valid), that you, as a leader, and your troops are up to the task.

You see, the Yi is not saying "yes, off you go" but rather it is saying "have you thought this through properly and have you made sure that you can actually achieve this before starting this battle?"

So, again the Yi is sending the message back to you, for you to look carefully into the whole situation and into yourself and then make the right move.
 

Tina5702

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I now understand where you are coming from when you said that you have enlisted an army of people to get your daughter back home. In principle, hex 7 suggests a call for action, firm measures, strategic move. But before getting your troops marching on you have to make sure that you have the legitimacy to do so and that your army is well trained and organised to win.

So, you've got line 1 , which contains exactly the warning: do not set off without being sure that your cause is valid (or recognised by others as valid), that you, as a leader, and your troops are up to the task.

You see, the Yi is not saying "yes, off you go" but rather it is saying "have you thought this through properly and have you made sure that you can actually achieve this before starting this battle?"

So, again the Yi is sending the message back to you, for you to look carefully into the whole situation and into yourself and then make the right move.

Ok. Got it. She's back now and I asked, what do I do now that she's back and received 19.2.3>36. I think the 19.2.3 is pretty delve explanatory but I'm not quite sure how to take hexagram 36 in this read. I will keep you posted Mirian. Thanks again for all of your help.
 
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mirian

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It is really good to know that you got your Army right (must admit I was a bit worried about 7.1 and the uncertainty of 25 but you managed right).
Agree about 19.2.3 as it favours lots of communication and oppeness. Also keep an eye on the situation and carry on working on it. Hex 36 is the backdrop, the period of darkness and harm you've both just gone through.

Thanks a lot for your feedback :bows:
 

Tina5702

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It is really good to know that you got your Army right (must admit I was a bit worried about 7.1 and the uncertainty of 25 but you managed right).
Agree about 19.2.3 as it favours lots of communication and oppeness. Also keep an eye on the situation and carry on working on it. Hex 36 is the backdrop, the period of darkness and harm you've both just gone through.

Thanks a lot for your feedback :bows:

Thank you so much for your help. I'll post an update on graduation. It takes place on the 23rd of March. xoxoxoxo
 

Trojina

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Thank you so much for your help. I'll post an update on graduation. It takes place on the 23rd of March. xoxoxoxo

You wrote that on the 29th April 2015 so was '23rd March' a typo ?
 

Tina5702

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Yes that was a typo. The graduation takes place on the 23rd of May and my daughter has all of her grades up and she has honor roll. Whew!
 

Tina5702

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My daughter graduated yesterday on the 23rd. I'm relieved that this part is done and over with, however there are so many problems at this time with our relationship; I'm on the verge of letting go. Thanks again Mirian for all of your help.
 
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mirian

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Hi tina, thanks for getting back.

Since you got hexagram 19 last time I thought that it would be useful this post from Bradford Hatcher, which I am quoting here:

The gist of 19 is that it's the time of year to get to work, not the time to get comfortable, which is after the harvest of the tenth month.

Good to reflect on considering your question
what do I do now that she's back and received 19.2.3>36
don't you think?
 

Tina5702

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Hi tina, thanks for getting back.

Since you got hexagram 19 last time I thought that it would be useful this post from Bradford Hatcher, which I am quoting here:



Good to reflect on considering your question don't you think?

Absolutely Miriam. It's funny you bring 19 up again because right before reading your reply, I casted a hexagram with the question: I think it's finally time for me to let my daughter go? And I received 41.6>19. I asked this question because the last couple of days have been shockingly surprising as I have witnessed the actions of my daughter, and not in a good way. She has literally turned her back on me and just blatantly disrespected me in so many ways.

So I take it that the I Ching is saying for me to get on with my life. To begin pursuing my dreams, goals and ambitions that i have for the majority of my life put on hold for my children.
 
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mirian

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I think we can look at hex 41 in a couple of different ways.

One is about decreasing, diminishing. As, for example, we can make a relationship less emotional, by decreasing anger or resentment, so we might feel that the connection with the other person becomes less intense, but that is not necessarily a bad thing. What I am trying to say is, the way I see hex 41 less does not mean necessarily loss. The other way is the balance between what we give and what we receive from others and/or life in general. If we look at the lines there seems to be a debate throughout about giving and receiving. So questions arise, like Am I giving too much to someone and receiving too little or is it the other way around ?

So we get to line 6 and the message is that you can receive a lot from life, you can have gains and promotion, your life can become a whole lot better and still others can also have the benefit, in a way or the other. The better you and your life become, the more beneficial you can be to others.

It is interesting that Wilhelm/Baynes translation of line 6 reads: "One obtain servants, but no longer has a separate home". I usually interpret this as things are not settled yet, this is not your home yet (your permanent place to stay). So, in my view, it is showing that the current arrangement of mother and daughter living together is still a temporary thing.

Sorry for the long story, hope that helps a bit :bows:
 

Tina5702

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I think we can look at hex 41 in a couple of different ways.

One is about decreasing, diminishing. As, for example, we can make a relationship less emotional, by decreasing anger or resentment, so we might feel that the connection with the other person becomes less intense, but that is not necessarily a bad thing. What I am trying to say is, the way I see hex 41 less does not mean necessarily loss. The other way is the balance between what we give and what we receive from others and/or life in general. If we look at the lines there seems to be a debate throughout about giving and receiving. So questions arise, like Am I giving too much to someone and receiving too little or is it the other way around ?

So we get to line 6 and the message is that you can receive a lot from life, you can have gains and promotion, your life can become a whole lot better and still others can also have the benefit, in a way or the other. The better you and your life become, the more beneficial you can be to others.

It is interesting that Wilhelm/Baynes translation of line 6 reads: "One obtain servants, but no longer has a separate home". I usually interpret this as things are not settled yet, this is not your home yet (your permanent place to stay). So, in my view, it is showing that the current arrangement of mother and daughter living together is still a temporary thing.

Sorry for the long story, hope that helps a bit :bows:

No Worries. That helps a lot. I have more and more opportunities for career coming my way and I think that I'm being told to just let this situation go, allow my daughter to grow up and have her experiences and focus my energy on the opportunities that I've waited for years to come. It's prettg self explanatory now, why I would get hexagrams about a sacrifice every time I asked about my career. For some reason I'm feeling that this perhaps was the sacrifice that I needed to make. For example, when I asked about career opportunities the other day, "what do I have to look forward to concerning my career in the near future", I received 46.1>11. It talks about new movement inducing sadness. And this is true because I always dreamed of pursuing my dreams and having my children right by my side. The three of us had an agreement, as we were all pursuing similar dreams, that the first one of us that made it, brings the other two in so we therefore all make it together. But it seems as if my daughter is no longer interested in this agreement and it makes my heart sad.
 
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mirian

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"what do I have to look forward to concerning my career in the near future", I received 46.1>11. It talks about new movement inducing sadness.

I don't see any sadness in 46.1 >> 1 - Basically it is about effort, initiative, being pro-active to achieve what you want, to get things done. And line 1 is the first step, the first move, pushing forwards, and appears quite promising. I have never experienced any sadness attached to this line at all. :bows:
 

Tina5702

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Oh ok. I was basing my interpretation for this line off the Visionary I Ching interpretation which states, "Advancing with confidence brings good fortune. Just as a tree draws its power from its roots, so even the most humble beginnings can serve as the foundation for great achievements, given the right attitude at the start. Even though new movement may induce sadness, there is no regret, so as long as you are willing to forsake the comfort of the past for the vitality of the future." And this really did ring true for me. It's sad but exhilarating at the same time.
 

Tina5702

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Miriam would you happen to know how to interpret timing with the I Ching hexagrams? For instances if I ask, when will _______ take place and receive hexagram 28 unchanging. What will be the time frame for hexagram 28?
 
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mirian

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Tina, over 20 years of using the Yi I have never been able to time anything according to hexagrams and/or lines. Nowadays I am not keen on the idea anyway. But if you want to try, I would suggest you to post specifically for this timing query and see what comes from it. :bows:
 

altair139

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there is a method to see the time frame of an event but that will need a very good and deep understanding about lunar calendar and how it is linked with the yin-yang table / bagua. For basics, every hexagram is linked to a month, and some changing lines are linked to a year or a month (the year is in a 60 years cycle, each year has a name linked with one of the 12 chinese zodiacs, not a numerical year) etc, i'm still learning but that will take years -_-
 

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