Hex 58 - Joyousness, the way forward?

[Magnus]

Though there is lingering, I do understand things have changed. I just don't fully understand how they changed or what I did wrong (because somehow I assume I had to have done something wrong, even if I didn't actually). I guess it's just forgetting about it that needs to happen.

 

[Magnus]

What would this mean..... "How would I attract a relationship with X?" 48 unchanging.

I thought 48 unchanging was suggesting that a lot of resources might be available to draw for the situation (from the well). I don't really understand that being the case in this situation. I assumed I would get some sort of answer that gave a fairly definitive "not going to happen!" to my question. Maybe I got that response without comprehending it though.

 

[ginnie]

"How would I attract a relationship with X?" 48 unchanging.

Of hex 48 unchanging, Wing says, "Without change the Source indicates that it will take the co-operation of several others to achieve your aim." A community action of some kind.

I have another note here that says that hex 48 unchanging means, "Some things never change."

I think you get the idea: You are barking up the wrong tree . . .

 

[Tim K]

I have another idea about 48: You need to be like the well, offering some precious resource to the people, then they will come carrying their buckets and pots to fill them with your wonderful clear and cool water(universal need).

It's possible that you will attract not only her, but many others too :hugs:

 

[Magnus]

Interesting how there are quite differing interpretations. I could see that it would be possible to have something happen with the help of a variety of people, as things aren't in the best place right now for me to be able to singlehandedly do anything to change anything in the situation. The part about some things never changing made me think that I should just stop consulting the I Ching and/or this board because I'm probably just bothering people. I got the impression that interpretation was more of an opinion that I should quiet down and let things go, but who knows.

It also makes sense that to get anything, I would have to offer something for people to desire or want and therefore come to me with their buckets. Knowing her as I do, I feel if I had the right circumstance, it would be easy enough to draw her close. My sense is that fear of it not working out is a large part of why she would push it away in favor of easier situations. So it would be a case of making things such that they seem more believable or more likely to work out perhaps. I'm not sure. Either way if I have something to offer, someone will come seeking it, that just seems to be the way life works.

 

[blue_angel]

Hi Magnus,

I don't think you are bothering anyone. It would be helpful if you shared some results, to show how your answers are relating to you.

It seems like your questions sort of go in circles as if there is no possible solution or goal to work towards. It makes me personally wonder if maybe we don't know your whole situation, which is what makes it hard to understand. Perhaps there are vital pieces to this puzzle that are missing? And if we had these vital pieces it would bring it all together and actually make some sense.

Some great advice and readings have been given to you, how have you incorporated any of that advice into your life? What has helped so far?

I am curious why you say there is nothing you can do to help change the situation. Then you say "if I had the right circumstances" what's wrong with your circumstances? What is it you can't change? Or need to change? Why can't you change it?

It seems you are confused with what she wants and also with what you want. Iching is helpful, but you have to live and take action as well. Have you had a clear full on conversation with her about how you feel and what you would like to work towards? You really don't have to answer
any of my questions if you do not feel comfortable, just some food for
thought. Maybe it would help if you 20-contemplate these things so you
can have 30- clarity of where you are, and where you want to be. Then
you can consult the Iching about the small details along the way, as you
begin working towards your goal.

48, can mean a few things, both readings you were already given are great and can be applied. What I think of 48 is, can you reach that nourishment the well provides? Its there, yes, but can you reach it? And are you making that nourishment available and ready for her? How can you maintain the well? Does it need filling? Does it need to be cleaned?

Best wishes for you on your journey Magnus,

Blue_Angel

 

[Magnus]

Thanks for all the comments/questions/insights!

I suddenly thought about this in pondering your post, Blue_Angel, and asked "Are my feelings about my relationship with X a result of having lost an escape from my day to day life?" and the result as 37.2 > 9. I wouldn't have thought anything to do with "family" would have been the result. I expected something like progress or something to tell me that yes that is the case. But maybe this result is telling me that the answer is no, or kind of yes but think about it another way? Does the line 2 mean that it is not just me who lost the escape but her too? I don't really see any other way to interpret that line.

 

[Tim K]

In Wilhelm's book it says, line 2:
She should not follow her whims.
She must attend within to the food.
Perseverance brings good fortune.

Attend to the matters at hand, take care of your house like a proper wife does,be within yourself, keep your thoughts in check (hex 9), tame your power for a while. Don't seek an escape from a day to day life.

 

[Magnus]

That sounds like a fair interpretation, thanks ashteroid.

If I focus on day to day life will X return? is something I asked just out of curiosity after reading the interpretation of the last reading. 39..2.4 > 28. I feel like test of faith is a common result I've gotten in one way or another in many readings. I may not have posted them all or any. But it's like I'm being tested to see if I'm legitimately serious or something.... although taht doesn't take into account every detail of every line of said hexagram it's more of a vague feeling.

 

[Magnus]

Here's an update. I randomly came across X today and it was like old times. It's like nothing really happened except the acknowledgement that we hadn't talked since October, X had been busy with life since then.

Since the random interaction just appeared out of the blue I decided to ask: "What course of action do I take with X?" and received 53 unchanging. This one suggests to take things as they come and not to expect anything major, just go with the flow and progress will happen, as far as what I've read. Is that all I should take from this reading or would there be more to it? I have no reason to expect anything, and have no truly strong feelings right now one way or another so just kind of open to whatever.

 

[Magnus]

I started thinking about how this other guy is mentioned when I talk to X, and after the conversation yesterday I noticed he's still mentioned. This time she said things were awkward when she talked to him last. So I wanted to ask a question about it and I'll call him J... "What role does J have in things between X and I?" The answer is Hexagram 15 unchanging. I don't really get this so much. Does anyone have experience or knowledge of this unchanging hexagram? I'm gonna look up other threads as I know many unchanging results have info on here but I wanted to ask about it in this thread too.

 

[blue_angel]

Maybe she's just venting? Because she trusts and confides in you?

 

[Tim K]

Could J be the middle ground? Halfway, in between guy?
15 is about middle, equalizing.

"High mountains are worn down by the waters, and the valleys are filled up."

 

[Magnus]

would this be a mix between two better guys for her?

 

[blue_angel]

I'm not sure what 15 means here for you. I suppose he could be the in the middle guy . From what I read, "he gets rid of what is too much and adds to what is too little." Creating balance. I've also read "he lets go a little of his earthly desires and focuses more on his spiritual nature." I usually get this hexagram when I'm asking something that isn't important to the big picture. So I've never really quite figured it out. I'll ask a question during a time of confusion or anxiety, I'll get this hexagram 15, and soon after I'll be on to more important things, and the question asked ends up not being important. That's why I say maybe she's just venting, to get rid of the excess on her mind. Doesn't really mean anything, unless she's stated otherwise. I'm not completely sure. In my experience if I tell a guy friend or even a boyfriend about another guy and how he's awkward to me, or bothering me, I'm just venting and I'm telling a guy to get a guys perspective, usually I'm wanting to know how to deal with this guy or how to rid myself of him. But I have no idea honestly what this means for you.

 

[Magnus]

Maybe that's the case. I do think he's probably irrelevant in the grand scheme of things like you're suggesting 15 often says to you in readings. The idea of being asked what to do is interesting. I don't really feel I'm being asked anything by her, but maybe she'd like to get rid of him. It just seems like the three of us keep coming up together in a sense, or rather he's not far when her and I are together since him and I have nothing to do with each other besides her.

 

[blue_angel]

When I look back over the years, there were so many misunderstandings and lack of communication that could've been avoided.

I'm not sure what the case is here with you and her. But if you're not going to ask her so you can get direct, and clear answers, I don't think its a good idea to assume.

What do you mean when you say the three of you some how end up together or he's not far off when you're with her? I mean has she said
he's bothering her or has she dated him? I
don't quite understand.

 

[Magnus]

Hmm, well what I said isn't totally true since talking to her today J didn't come up at all. But I'd see him around the same chat room after she was on some times, on a cam so I knew it was him. so either she'd bring him up in convos, or I'd see him around which is what I meant. She's never dated him. Apparently she's back with a friend who lives near her though.
I had this sense that her talking to me was possibly being seen by someone else and that this guy coming to visit her the other night was not coincidental. I asked the I Ching "What forces are at play between X and I?" and got 18.3.4.5 > 6. The names of the lines as I read them using ifate.com all mention father which intrigues me, though I know the names of the lines aren't all that they suggest by any means.

 

[Tim K]

Well, you are trying to resolve the conflict and work on your differences that led to it.

M. Daniels:
3. You are doing your best to sort things out.
4. The mess should no longer be tolerated!
5. Act to sort things out and you will win praise.

However, line 4 and 5 does implicate that you are not active enough.
And this is supported by the internal hexes: 54(Inferior position) and 37 (Family).

So, bring more energy to this matter? Or even break up with her completely.

 

[Magnus]

I could easily just say we shouldn't talk anymore. Something keeps drawing me to the opposite though, as keeping her around seems somehow positive to me - but that's with a faint hope of something more "real" eventually happening. Can't say if this will really occur or not. Thanks for the insight, will have to think a bit more on the matter!

 

[Magnus]

"What are the effects of cutting online ties to X?" hex 49.2.5 > 34

My thoughts on this after reading interpretations is that cutting ties, or at least talking to X about doing so would be met with a positive response. I don't see this as necessarily the end of any interaction for life, but for the time being allowing her to focus on her life and myself to separate from her would be beneficial because we're not in a place where anything much can happen. I would argue that I am bringing energy to the matter by even making such a suggestion to her that we part ways, and see it as possibly drawing her nearer if she decides that I'm someone she doesn't truly want to live without. That being said, if she doesn't come to that conclusion, I'd still follow through with the separation as I believe she deserves to be happy and if that involves me or does not involve me at least she's happy.

"What are the effects of continuing with things as they are with X?" hex 13.3.6 >17

I'm not sure what significance a question asking the opposite would be but decided to see what it would tell me. It seems as though it suggests that this would be acceptable, but perhaps nothing very significant would result by doing so. What question/result is the most significant of these two that I just asked?

 

[Tim K]

IMO both answers are the same, cutting online ties would be great for you.

"What are the effects of cutting online ties to X?" hex 49.2.5 > 34, says it directly.
Wilhelm:
2. On one's own day one may create revolution. Moving on brings good fortune. No error.
5. The great man changes like a tiger. Even before he asks the oracle, he is believed.

Daniels:
2. The time for change has come. Act now.
5. Revolutionary change brings great success.

And "What are the effects of continuing with things as they are with X?" hex 13.3.6 >17 says it indirectly, by referring to the opposite.

Wilhelm:
3. He hides weapons in the thicket, climbs the high hill in front of it. For three years he does not rise.
6. Fellowship with people in the meadow: no remorse.

There will be no action/closeness in the near future (3), and that there is no 'spark' between you, just some friendliness(6).

I think first question is very direct and has a powerful answer.

 

[Magnus]

Interesting how you interpreted the second question there, "in the near future" could easily imply something in the more distant future or simply say that the distant future is unknown and therefore anything could happen then.

It does seem like the first question is answered quite directly too, which is awesome considering the I ching is often a little bit vague and open to interpretations! It might be that I don't talk to X for awhile due to her staying away from the internet, but if she is on and tries to talk to me I'll bring up the thought of parting ways.

 

[Magnus]

This kind of relates so I'll post the reading in this thread rather than making a new one...

How would I draw a romantic relationship into my life?

Hexagram 41 unchanging.

I feel like this could relate to X, because decreasing expectations or goals could draw that relationship to improve rather than thinking of things more seriously and future oriented. But I suppose the same could be true for any relationship/partner, taking small steps or thinking tiny goals and such could have a better effect, like building friendships and just interacting with people without expecting anything to come of it would potentially allow more to happen. Anyone else's thoughts?

 

[blue_angel]

Why did you not follow the advice of 53? Gradual progress/advancement, step be step, like courting and preparing a woman to marry, supposed to be a good relationship hexagram. Why didn't you follow that advice?

 

[Magnus]

I didn't do this intentionally, but I think I've set things up for the advice of 53 to take place. I didn't end things with her when we talked. I just said that I was sorry for our last conversation as it felt awkward, and she also apologized. I basically said details of what goes on between her and her now bf don't need to be told to me, and she was down with that, and just said she saw him at school today (about as little detail as you can get haha).

Her and I definitely still have something that clicks between us, I just feel at this time she needs/wants to know she can be free to do what she wants. It's not necessarily that she wouldn't come back to me so keeping things open to that happening (53) is what seems best intuitively to me when I talk to her.

 

[Magnus]

With regard to this question: What are the effects of courting X while she has a boyfriend?

I received hexagram 14.2.3 > 21.

I'm not sure if keeping in contact with her and being open to whatever might come up in the future is "courting" so I'm not sure if the question is valid as is or not. It caught my attention that the future hexagram is 21 or Jaws since I tend to see that one as a negative hexagram. In some cases or some interpretations the future hexagram isn't that heavily significant though.

 

[blue_angel]

21 is not necessarily the outcome or the future. When you start a reading as if telling your own story, it would sound something like... you are trying to bite through or get to the core of something, this is your background, already what's going on, then 14, may at times also be the background or it may be what you need to do, an attitude you need to take, and the lines will be the action you need to take. (Usually) not always. That's why its best to play with it yourself and see how it fits. Start with the lower (resulting) and think, hmmm, is that what I'm doing? Am I trying to bite through something? Ect.

As far as this girl, is she just dating this guy? Or what? Is she free to date others? Is it an open relationship? Have you even expressed your feelings or interest at any time with her? Do you have any real idea if she is interested back? Has feelings back? This is what I mean about your readings going in circles, never really ending up having any meaning for you, or relation. And its like we're starting over from your very first post. Same story. Or is this the same girl? If its not, how and why do you always pick girls taken? This is a perfect time for you to learn more the Iching, explore the other areas of this site, there is so much knowledge.

Its a good time for you to learn about you, your nature, your path. I'm not judging you, but I definitely don't feel as though my readings are helping you and they certainly aren't helping me. Time is precious...

 

[blue_angel]

As far as your reading... (14) she's a great possession to you or perhaps you have other great possessions you should focus on.

Line 2- sure, you're capable of carrying this load, burden, if you want, but don't complain if you do.

Line 3- you should do what's best for everyone involved, take everyone's best interest into consideration.

 

[ginnie]

14.2 says go ahead, but 14.3 raises the question of whether or not an ordinary person would be up to it. In other words, our personal weaknesses will hamper us from reaching our goals. But that could be said of any endeavor, so it seems the basic message of this reading is that you can go ahead and do that if you want to.

Hexagram 21 is not necessarily negative here. It carries the meaning of biting through obstacles or oppositions to union. In other words, it is as if there is something between the rows of teeth, keeping the mouth from closing, and this obstacle needs to be bitten through. Or, you are biting through when you think this way, of ways of overcoming obstacles.

Gee, back and forth go these readings! It's confusing, isn't it? You have to know your own mind, and let that be your guide, Magnus, since the Oracle is not going to cast the final say-so on this issue. People don't realize that the Oracle often does not wish to make up our minds for us.