How do I deal with a sociopath? 26 .1.3. 4 to 64

[pooja123]

I asked yi about dealing with a sociopath. Line 1 agrees that this person is bad. Line 2 is asking me to tame him? Perhaps put him in His place? Line 4..uggh what is that? A young bull's horn board? Changing hex 64 shows that l should share news with him that l'm doing great , and hurt his ego? Perhaps be like the wise fox as the ice is thin , and he might want to hurt me psychologically. I have to be smarter than him. Any other suggestions?

 

[moss elk]

hi pooja,

Unfinished (64)
Growing up/Restraining (of the Male energy) (26)


26.1 stop contact with him. It will get harsh.
26.3 he is chasing you, (and it advises you to practice self defense/ martial arts)
26.4 Nip his aggressions in the bud.
(take proactive preventative actions to stop any advance of his horns, give him no occasion to get comfortable with you, or get close to you)

Is this the recent ex?
(I was in a relationship with a severely disturbed person once, wow she was beautiful! wow she was sweet! wow she was smart! wow she was talented! she was all those things when her oscillating extreme mental illness was not manifesting.)

 

[Freedda]

I think the reading suggests that you may want to be very, very clear with yourself that they are not going to change in any way - and that you can't change them. Also that by their nature, they are a danger, despite how clear or 'high-minded' they may seem. It may take a kind of 'daily training' on your part to remind yourself of this.

As a caveat to this, you asked how to deal with a sociopath, but not if any particular person is one. I knew someone who was in the habit of calling people she didn't like 'sociopaths' and would say things like: 'I read about the characterisitics of sociopaths and xxx fits all of them.' In this case it wasn't true at all (or simply that these other people were flawed, as we all are), and was more revealing of this person's mindset and less about these other people. I'm not saying this is true for you, only to consider - what is your source in thinking they are sociopaths?

Best, David.

 

[pooja123]

Yes it's the ex. He always comes back whenever l am happy. He does read my posts on FB. He tried reconnecting after l posted about a great date l had. I was stupid to see him. He does this Everytime. Whenever l recover from the hurts he caused me, he suddenly contacts me. I do share my day to day stuff on FB. He probably thinks l am an easy victim. The last time l saw him, l made a mistake of rejecting offers for dates from other suitors and such, thinking that he had changed. I had my suspicion way back in August. But l wasn't sure. Finally ended everything in November.

Then he contacted me again in February saying that things didn't work with him and his fiancée. We had dinner and we talked for hours. No sex though. He respected that. The next day he texted about a nice tapas place wanted to take me there Then two days after he stopped messaging .l sent a couple of messages. No replies for days. There were blue ticks. So he read. A week after that he replied to my messages. Saying that l'm just a friend. And his said his "friends" never complained if he never replied to any messages. But he had done this before in the past. Disappearing and reappearing. He was in on and off relationship with his fiancée. So l never complained. I was a hex 54 situation.. In November l confided in him that l am looking for a meaningful relationship. Thus what we had was not what l was looking for. He would be nice to me then the next day, he would be mean. To be honest, the first few months were blissful. I even asked him where is this heading. He wanted it to be casual. We had no problems. And suddenly he disappeared for two months. And when we reconnected then he changed. I was this loving companion. I never complained until November ,l decided to leave because l can't take his Jekyll and Hyde persona

. Plus he admitted seeing few women. So l left him. We did have an argument in March about his behavior. Of his disappearing acts He blocked me. He had blocked me before in the past. And l know he will return.

 

[pooja123]

He always says he didn't do anything wrong. He also behaves this way towards his ex fiancée. He spoke about his ex wife. And basically. He was never at fault in anything. It's always the women.

 

[pooja123]

Thx David. I know l should not meet him if he shows up. But I have to see him. This time to really get off everything on my chest and ask him to buzz off for good. l prefer to act civilized by saying it face to face. And not ignore him or ghost him.

 

[moss elk]

But I have to see him. This time to really get off everything on my chest and ask him to buzz off for good.

This is not true.
This is a mistake.
(many many people make it)
You don't need him to be present or participate at all.
Just cast him out of you, and out of your heart. Block him on facebook. Don't take his calls...etc
When you do that the anger will disperse from you as well.
You'll know you are free when you can laugh and make up derogatory nicknames for him.

Like Mr Sauve, or Don Juan, or
little league, Mr selfie...etc.

 

[Freedda]

... But I have to see him.

.... This time to really get off everything on my chest and ask him to buzz off for good. l prefer to act civilized by saying it face to face. And not ignore him or ghost him.

Pooja, you know best what you need, but I I find myself asking 'why?' Why do you need to see him face to face? Didn't you already break off your relationhip? And wouldn't a simple email be enought, saying, oh, that you've moved on and are seeing someone else now ... and that it would be best if you two didn't see each other anymore and that he not contact you anymore?

Or whatever the right words are for you. I'm just concerned that if he is a true sociopath, that he'll be very good at manipulating you - like making you think you have to meet him face to fact? or that you and he will come away from your meeting without there still being clear boundaries.

But, as I said, this is just my concerns, and you'll have to do what feels right.

 

[pooja123]

Yes you are right , Yi is right as well. Classic text book remedial. Do not engage with sociopaths. Once he contacts me l will ask Mr. Dick to buzz off via whatsapp. He is s smooth operator. There were once he used words like candy man and that he trapped me with his gifts of chocolates . He is much older than l am . Much much older. l knew it was a red flag. I will follow your advice David. Thank you so much.

 

[pooja123]

Thx Moss Elk. I will follow ignore him.

 

[moss elk]

Candy man

Brilliant!
(tastes sweet at first, but is bad for you)

 

[moss elk]

I will follow ignore him.

This is how one sounds when they have a foot in two paths, or are of two minds.
You gotta pick one or the other.

 

[pooja123]

It's a typo l will follow your advice.ignore him

 

[pooja123]

Pooja, you know best what you need, but I I find myself asking 'why?' Why do you need to see him face to face? Didn't you already break off your relationhip? And wouldn't a simple email be enought, saying, oh, that you've moved on and are seeing someone else now ... and that it would be best if you two didn't see each other anymore and that he not contact you anymore? Or whatever the right words are for you. I'm just concerned that if he is a true sociopath, that he'll be very good at manipulating you - like making you think you have to meet him face to fact? or that you and he will come away from your meeting without there still being clear boundaries. But, as I said, this is just my concerns, and you'll have to do what feels right.

This the problem i have with him. I love him. its unconditional but I can't be with him. Maybe in the distant future..as friends? He is complicated. Maybe he is not a sociopath. It is clear that the women in his life allow him to be like this. He is spoilt. I don't want to do a Freudian analysis. He is not a project. I need a partner. He is not the one.

 

[diamanda]

Pooja this guy is, as you already described, highly manipulative, hypocritical, and sadistic. You say that you love him unconditionally. Well, when we feel that we 'love' someone who abuses us, it's only because they've got their hooks in us. It's not real, the person we think we love doesn't exist. It's not your fault that he put the hooks in you - but you do need to save yourself from his harm.

There is no way, ever, to get closure from such people. I can already tell you what he'll say if you meet him and get it all off your chest: he will flip it all right back against you, and accuse you of everything under the sun. It's not worth it. Leave... and leave quietly. Turn your attention to yourself, find out how he got his hooks in you in the first place. I'm not sure it's good to laugh about it one day. This is a serious matter, to be thoroughly worked on at length, so that you can avoid similar situations in the future. There are too many of those people around.

 

[marybluesky]

Hello pooja!

How do I deal with a sociopath? 26.1.3.6 to 64
You have to Tame his Power (26) over you but haven't still Completed this Mission (64).
26.1: "When one meets danger, it is better to stop. " The message is clear: avoid dangerous situations he may create for you.
26.3: "Good horses compete with each other. It is of benefit to continue working hard and to keep the chariot safe. It is of benefit to go somewhere." Take care of yourself; develop more of a combat spirit so that you are ready to defend yourself if he tries to cross your boundaries again. If you feel safer elsewhere (actually or virtually) go there.
26.4: "The headboard restrains the young bull. Great good fortune." Then you'll restrain his reckless behavior.

Good luck!

 

[pooja123]

Thx Diamanda and Mary.��