Is It Just Me?

[willowfox]

"Curiously, I asked yi what her view might be on this situation and got 36, which intrigued me...I asked how could I best help her and got 18."

Hex 36 I would presume that she wishes to keep a very low profile as regards to your old relationship, ie. she wants to keep it secret. Any feelings that she has for you, she is keeping them well hidden. As she does not want any problems, she must hide her thoughts and feelings about you. I think that she will be polite and friendly towards you but to go any deeper is not recommended, as it would certainly mess everything up. She has to protect herself from any potential harm, so don't expect too much from her, if you ever meet her.

Hex 18 says to work on what has been spoilt, well your relationship with her was spoilt. So, it is now up to you to proceed with care and caution because it seems that your thinking about her is at fault here you have to let go of the past, blaming her, blaming yourself, blaming whatever is not mending the situation, it is time to forgive and forget, otherwise your situation will continue to decay. It is your thinking that needs to be repaired, do that and it will benefit, everyone in your circle. So, if you ever meet her you can be a friend as opposed to an ex lover.

 

[mercury]

willowfox, thank you for the insight on 18, I hadn't thought about it that way, that is, as a situation that could be "worked on" or fixed somehow. I am trying now to rid myself of old habits and of the need to cling; also, the irrational feeling of rejection now that she's with someone else -- maybe that's as much as I can do.

As far as 36, that's sort of what I thought...I don't know what her feelings are toward me now -- we were doing GREAT together just before things were discovered and we have always been like hand and glove, since the moment we first met -- but I guess there could be feelings of resentment on her part at not leaving my family or of getting her involved in the relationship in the first place. I worry sometimes that she rushed into this other relationship to avoid staying in her marriage or being alone; I know that's the cliche thing for the ex-boyfriend to think, but given the situation, it's not that far-fetched, and 36 seemed to kind of fit that. Who knows.

I don't know if I'll ever happen to run into her; we both live in the same city but in different areas, and L.A. is a big, big town, so I try to abandon hopes of seeing her again. As much as I'd like to contact her, it seems like trying to move on and leave this to fate is the wiser course.

Thanks again for all your insight.