Need help reading for a stranger in dire circumstances

[Domesday Lines]

Reading for myself and my partner has been very intuitive and easy for me, but I have run into confusion when doing my first reading for someone else. They are in a severely dangerous situation, involving stalking, severe abuse, CPTSD, and feeling seriously suicidal. They have no real support. At a loss for how else to help them, I took a reading, and have been confused about the answer, because it falls outside my own range of hexagrams I get for my situations. It also seems to have a worrying prognosis. I don't usually ask for advice, but I need it here to be able to give them a useful reading.

Question: "What should he do?"
I got 54. Kuei Mei / The Marrying Maiden. 9 at the beginning, 6 in the 5th. The second hexagram becomes 47. K'un / Oppression.

I'll spare you my own guesses, because they are few. My Richard Wilhelm translation provided little illumination, nor was searching online very helpful. It's a dangerous hex, as far as I can see, though nuanced, and the married girl metaphor is unclear to me, because I can't compare it to my life, so am not sure how to translate the meaning. It would be very disheartening to only tell them that they need to 'keep trying,' because they have been at this for decades and are getting close to suicide.

 

[Liselle]

I suppose if you want something encouraging to focus on with this person, 54.5 would be it. In the accompanying story, this low-status younger sister is the one who ended up giving birth to (possibly/probably) King Wen.

Of course that's not to be taken too literally. It doesn't have to mean actually having a baby. (I don't even know if your client is a woman or a man, and it doesn't matter, it's a metaphor.)

It does suggest there's a reason for all of this and an actual worthwhile outcome, if - sorry - the person continues to hang in there ("hang in there" is also suggested by 47).

If you think it's appropriate, maybe you could get into something like the following. These are my beliefs - which (a) are only beliefs, not facts, and that's important to distinguish, (b) plenty of good, smart people wouldn't even agree.

Anyway, personally I believe it's God speaking through the Yijing to reach us. (In my case the Judeo-Christian God, but substitute whatever higher power you

(hang on, somehow posted before I was finished...)

 

[Liselle]

...whatever higher power your client believes in.

Figure out a better way to say this, but I don't think the reading (God) would say 54.5 if there was no way to get there. Therefore no matter how bad things have been and are now, it is possible to get to line 5, and line 5 is worth getting to.

Now having said that, line 5 might be some distance away still, unfortunately. For one, it's four lines further up in the hexagram, which can indicate time. Secondly, line 5 is a generational thing. No one knew King Wen would be so pivotal when he was a baby. His accomplishments came much later, after he grew up. However, regardless, merely being the one chosen to give birth to an heir at all must have improved this maiden's life somehow, wouldn't you think?

Even if not...(this is very pessimistic, but for the sake of covering all bases)...if your client believes in a soul and possibly in reincarnation, if he/she can do as best as possible with this now, it might put him/her in a much better position next time.

That is hard to swallow even if you do believe in reincarnation, since it means it won't get any better in his or her remaining life this time. Gulp. If it was me giving the reading, I'd probably tread carefully here, and I have no idea what "tread carefully" means in practice. But I'm trying to avoid over-optimism that never comes true...I just am not sure enough about the maiden in line 5 and what the whole thing did for her, if you see what I mean.

I hope I'm not butchering this story. Sometimes I worry I get the people mixed up and so on.

As for 54.1, other than reflecting what your client has been going through (many forms of metaphorical lameness), it does say "can still walk" and "setting out to bring order: good fortune." Hilary explains that this way (part of the commentary from her book):

As you do what you can, those disadvantages and handicaps lose their power to trap you in 'I can't'.

Maybe part of it is just accepting and acclimating to that, which is a theme of 54 generally. Maybe that's why it's going on so long. It's easier to put up with oppression (47) when it's only for a short time and/or if you know when it will end. It's a much bigger challenge when it goes on seemingly indefinitely. That seems to be the challenge your client has. But again line 5 is in the reading - there is defintely something worthwhile out there, even if it's still in the future.

Line 1 does have some form of hope in it, I think, maybe in a more immediate way. It says "can walk." This is just a guess, but I wonder if part of that could be just doing it by rote? Example: say you're sick, have a fever and whatnot, but you have 3 dogs, 2 cats, and a tankful of fish, and you live by yourself. It is utterly reasonable to stay in bed when sick, but you'll drag yourself out to do at least the bare minimum for everyone. It would probably help to go into robot mode. When you're in robot mode, you don't notice or feel as much. Does that make any sense? If you internalize (47) robot mode, it might make things actually easier.

(I'm out on a limb with this robot-mode stuff, not completely sure it's right. But it makes some sense to me.)

And again as Hilary puts it, do what you can. The standard is lower.


On a way more practical level, if your client is being stalked, are the police, the legal system, or any community organizations any help? I didn't mention this right away because it sounds like they're not, or it wouldn't have gone on this long.

If other people come along and roll their eyes at all of this from me, I promise I'll be really happy about that, honest. You specifically weren't looking for "keep trying." Ugh.

 

[rosada]

54 - 47 suggests to me this person feels like they are on a long hard road with no immediate turn offs and Oppression mentions a situation where one feels they must continue on no matter what. A feeling they must keep their word. So I’m wondering if your friend has stayed in this situation out of some sense of obligation? Like people staying married to keep their religious vows even though the marriage is dead. Anyway, as far as what your friend should do I think he should start by considering why he feels obligated to be in this situation. Once he understands why he’s there he may get a different perspective that will ease the pain.
54.5 is very encouraging for him eventually being in a situation that is very good for him. (Just hope it’s not the next lifetime…)

 

[Liselle]

54.5 is very encouraging for him eventually being in a situation that is very good for him. (Just hope it’s not the next lifetime…)

I hope not too!

-----

"Read Hilary" is always a good motto. Here are some resources. (I haven't re-read them right now, so no attempt to apply anything directly to this thread.)

Puzzling over 54, line 1

It’s a not-unfamiliar experience with readings: the oracle text of the hexagram says one thing, and then a moving line says something quite different. You probably know the basic principle: the moving line text takes precedence. It's the 'You Are Here' sign to the hexagram's overall scene-setting.

www.onlineclarity.co.uk

A week of 54.1

As you may know, I consult Yi once a week without a specific question - just to touch base and remagnetise the inner compass. The way these readings help changes from week to week: sometimes I'll find I've been given very specific advice for a situation that arises days later; sometimes it's a messa

www.onlineclarity.co.uk

54, Marrying Maiden

'The maiden marries: setting forth to bring order - pitfall. No harvest in having a direction to go.' The Judgement of Hexagram 54 seems pervaded by a sense of helplessness. There is nothing to be gained by knowing the goals you seek - and actually setting out to create the life you envisage is a

www.onlineclarity.co.uk

The family of 54

Each hexagram of the Yijing contains a nuclear hexagram at its core. And since the nuclear hexagram unfolds from lines 2-5, it's the first and last lines, the 'entrance and exit' or 'roots and shoots' of the hexagram, that vary - so that four hexagrams can be formed around each nucleus. These grou

www.onlineclarity.co.uk

Being the marrying maiden

Recent readings have given me a new application for Hexagram 54: the experience of relying on other people to work for me. The Marrying Maiden, poor little thing, moves into a world that's several sizes too big for her, and has to feel her way into its relationships and possibilities. There's wor

www.onlineclarity.co.uk

The moon almost full

Some of the Yi's most interesting phrases come in threes. The advice not to chase what's lost, for instance, or 'not robbers, marital allies'. This is another of those: 'the moon is almost full'. 'Already rained, already come to rest.Honour the power it carries.The wife's constancy brings danger,

www.onlineclarity.co.uk

(There's a 54.5 section.)

 

[Trojina]

Is this a client who is paying you or a friend ?

I'm not sure of the wisdom of trying to use a reading to help a suicidal person...or indeed someone in actual physical danger

They are in a severely dangerous situation, involving stalking, severe abuse, CPTSD, and feeling seriously suicidal. They have no real support. At a loss for how else to help them, I took a reading, and have been confused about the answer, because it falls outside my own range of hexagrams I get for my situations. It also seems to have a worrying prognosis. I don't usually ask for advice, but I need it here to be able to give them a useful reading.

So this person is in a situation of 'severe abuse' and they are being stalked? Police? Mental health professionals?

I'll spare you my own guesses, because they are few. My Richard Wilhelm translation provided little illumination, nor was searching online very helpful. It's a dangerous hex, as far as I can see, though nuanced, and the married girl metaphor is unclear to me, because I can't compare it to my life, so am not sure how to translate the meaning. It would be very disheartening to only tell them that they need to 'keep trying,' because they have been at this for decades and are getting close to suicide.

There is no such thing as 'dangerous hexagram' but here you have someone in a dangerous situation who needs real help rather than guesses from strangers on the internet about their reading

 

[rosada]

You mention that you felt just advising your friend to “keep trying” seemed pretty weak yet that does seem to be the I Ching’s advice here with 54-47. It occurs to me that the advice may be for you specifically. That is, simply telling your friend to hang in there may not be the whole answer, but it could be the answer for what you should tell him he should do. In other words, you aren’t required to be his problem solver, your role here is simply to be his supportive friend, and saying whatever helps in the moment to lift his sense of Oppression is a good thing for you to do even if it’s not a long term solution.

Also occurs to me the I Ching answered your question and is telling you what he should do (read the Image for Oppression), but this is not the same as advising YOU to be the one to tell him!

 

[Domesday Lines]

Sorry for not replying; I very much appreciate the replies. My friend is still alive, though his situation has worsened if anything. I've been acting as a sort of 'therapist friend' for the past year for him, and he's mentioned a few times how I have actually helped in some ways with getting him more in touch with his suppressed emotions, and being one of the few good people he's ever met, but he is deeply suicidal regardless. Unless something totally unforseen happens, I don't know how he will find the real support he needs. His intense paranoia prevents him from trusting any help besides me, it seems.

I have done a new reading for this reply, with a similar question:
"What future within this life awaits him?" I was given 41. Sun/Decrease.

It's hard not to be biased in interpreting this reply, because I want him to have a good outcome. Of course this answer isn't necessarily bad, but much of it is foreboding to me, and I worry that the way it speaks of sacrifice could mean something extreme for this life. At its most optimistic, it simply insists on the same bleak advice as last time: Good will not come for a long time; it furthers one to be persistent. I can't imagine he could be persistent for much longer, unless pure good luck saves him.

 

[Liselle]

Decrease and sacrifice, but manageable, two small baskets worth. And it's not 23, painful stripping-to-the-bone sacrifice.

But it's not what I'd want to see, either. I understand your point.