Relations with oldest son

[becalm]

I look at 19.1 "Influence nearing" as pointing out that our influence is only barely starting out and 7. The Army as describing how like a sargent with his troops we each have our own individual circle of influence. As a comment on your son, it could be a reference to his intending to begin influencing others with his religious beliefs and perhaps a warning that he's rather new at this so he might be inclined to demand others fallow his orders

He's been doing the religious influencing with a very diverse group for at least 3 years or more so it's nothing new to him.
Perhaps what's new to him is that I'm not being 'influenced' by my past insecurities by trying to mend our fences as I've done in the past.
He's using his kids as a pawn and that's not right no matter what he thinks or says about me. For years he's believed he's had all the answers to life and would ring me and tell me what I need to be doing to better myself and my relationships with others.
My long term friends and my middle son have all commented on how much I've changed in myself in the last 12 months. It's up to him to be open to that but judging by his letter he's not even close to working through it.
I remember a long time ago thinking the same thing about my mother - she didn't recognise that people change and never gave me a chance throughout my life.