Return Engagement? Hex 31.1.3.5 to Hex 51

[arabella]

I've purposely put aside a contact with someone who behaved in a rather conflicted and confusing way with me over more than a year. I figured I'd given this connection every chance and I simply didn't get the point anymore.

Yesterday I got a telephone call that went on and on, every subject under the moon, and suggesting we'd get together this week. I'm not interested in any of this unless it is going to be a lot clearer what it's about. I asked the Yi how I should view this new approach and received the casting:

Hexagram 31.1.3.5 becoming Hexagram 51. Because I'm rather skeptical now and want to keep the association on my terms rather than any terms at all, I'm viewing this casting as an indication of someone capricious who makes the social rounds as a matter of course and just doesn't know or care if they create havoc for me. I'm thinking of turning the invitation away and continuing as I was, for my self preservation.

 

[chingching]

but you have to keep in mind 31 is mutual affection, its not about the other person but about both of you, what are you letting in but what are you putting out too. The upper trigram is tui, exchange. Getting line 3 shows that you are moved to connect with this person, something in you automatically reacts, but its nice to have line 5 there because that has moved beyond reactions and you move from your heart (or your neck/back depending on what translation you are reading) which is the most centred place to move from, and the most effective placed to move/be moved from.

But I would say your instinct are on the money, all I would caution is to not be so exclusive as to exculde your own influence on the situation.

I associate line 5 with how when I'm thinking of saying something that will ultimately neither serve me or the other person in question well, I will literally feel my hackles go up, as in the hair on the back on my neck and skull will get goose bumps and a rush of adrelin with it. i know not to say that thing in those times.

But I've begun to look at line 5 as the best way to deal with hex 31 altogether (after the judgement and image)

line 5 as the governing ruler (line 4 in hex 31 is also) is why, but also I associate it with the heart being affected, as in the heart knows, the mind thinks and the solar plexus reacts. If you follow the feelings of the heart you will deal with influences well.

51, set things in order, prepare fro any eventualities the shock is a forewarning (not necessarily bad, just an alert), it sounds like you've already done this.

I must say every time I read your posts I find you've already 'fixed the omen' of the reading and understood it too. So you are on to it and putting it into action.

All I can say is no use in falling into fears, just don't give your power over when this person tries to take it (for example), and then you know reap the benefits as 31 and 51 are good energies, shock create success and so does influence.

It might just play out that you shock them and this influences them to become a better person or vice versa etc. was this person a lover?

 

[arabella]

but you have to keep in mind 31 is mutual affection, its not about the other person but about both of you, what are you letting in but what are you putting out too. The upper trigram is tui, exchange. Getting line 3 shows that you are moved to connect with this person, something in you automatically reacts, but its nice to have line 5 there because that has moved beyond reactions and you move from your heart (or your neck/back depending on what translation you are reading) which is the most centred place to move from, and the most effective placed to move/be moved from.

But I would say your instinct are on the money, all I would caution is to not be so exclusive as to exculde your own influence on the situation.

I associate line 5 with how when I'm thinking of saying something that will ultimately neither serve me or the other person in question well, I will literally feel my hackles go up, as in the hair on the back on my neck and skull will get goose bumps and a rush of adrelin with it. i know not to say that thing in those times.

But I've begun to look at line 5 as the best way to deal with hex 31 altogether (after the judgement and image)

line 5 as the governing ruler (line 4 in hex 31 is also) is why, but also I associate it with the heart being affected, as in the heart knows, the mind thinks and the solar plexus reacts. If you follow the feelings of the heart you will deal with influences well.

51, set things in order, prepare fro any eventualities the shock is a forewarning (not necessarily bad, just an alert), it sounds like you've already done this.

I must say every time I read your posts I find you've already 'fixed the omen' of the reading and understood it too. So you are on to it and putting it into action.

All I can say is no use in falling into fears, just don't give your power over when this person tries to take it (for example), and then you know reap the benefits as 31 and 51 are good energies, shock create success and so does influence.

It might just play out that you shock them and this influences them to become a better person or vice versa etc. was this person a lover?

Thanks Chingching. I may have more influence in the situation than I'd believed -- and I may not. And i suppose that's where the hesitation comes in. When I asked "How should I view this new approach" i had a mental image of this person coming toward me with the enthusiasm displayed yesterday, and me trying to decide what to do with it. I suppose tangentially, i want to know why is this happening now? Since turning off this contact, I've done a lot of internal work on self worth and i'm no longer a push-over. Perhaps these recent realisations of what I should and shouldn't tolerate make me a bit inflexible?

Because line one seems to suggest giving things a chance, that this is a new opportunity. Meanwhile, the third lines seems to say don't deal with anybody's ebbing and flowing moods. Good advice -- i have NO intention of doing that anymore for anybody. And, as you've said, the fifth line changing would indicate this has gone a bit beyond where it was. That this is some type of true affection, something more reliable that isn't going to fluctuate for months on end. Well, that isn't coming from me, that I can assure you. I've installed an ON/OFF switch now. Disappoint me and that's the ball game. I'm not sure it's worth going through it to find out though. Hexagram 51 is sitting there looking right at me.

 

[arabella]

OK. I've recuperated from my grouch fest. Asked the Yi a follow-up question:

"What should I be aware of regarding this person's intentions?"

Answer: Hexagram 15.2.3 becoming Hexagram 7.

So maybe my suspicions are unfounded. Doesn't appear to be any funny stuff there -- but someone who is shooting straight. Perhaps I'm a bit jaded by now -- but just thinking better be conservative and see what happens. Any other thoughts?:bows:

 

[chingching]

15 > 7 , get organised for give and take, the best relations have easy give and take, make sure it happens from and for both sides. Also with 7, you are taking the lead, showing the way, the initiator.

I've done a lot of internal work on self worth and i'm no longer a push-over. Perhaps these recent realisations of what I should and shouldn't tolerate make me a bit inflexible?

I think this just makes you attractive. I love being around people who aren't push overs, I respect it when someone speaks up to me if I've over stepped their boundary.

I would say don't take them to a stage of inflexibility, to be able to do 31 well, which is to have that strong mountain as a base and the interactive lake as the interface requires a non pushable mountain and a very flexible lake. When you know your self-worth, no one else's actions can de value it, you set its value, so only you can de-value it.

What's Eleanor Roosevelt's saying???? people can only have power over you if you let them, something like that.

I guess I lean in the direction of relating vs. cutting off because I used to live by the motto " May the bridges we burn light the way." And I just ended up in the dark. I have returned to people I once thought total drains of my energy, but returned with boundaries and ones that I set, and not ones that I leave up to the other person to set.

I find people who are challenging for me to relate to, when I know how to surf in that sea, are apart of my life for a reason. Often for me I have to let them come and go more instead of having them as a daily part of my life which was my natural way to have relations. But the reason for this is because its actually me who wants the freedom to do this, and I only found the freedom when I let go and allowed it for others too.

I don't know if that's exactly your situation, but its what I see in 15... being that level field, that give and take.

 

[arabella]

15 > 7 , get organised for give and take, the best relations have easy give and take, make sure it happens from and for both sides. Also with 7, you are taking the lead, showing the way, the initiator.



I think this just makes you attractive. I love being around people who aren't push overs, I respect it when someone speaks up to me if I've over stepped their boundary.

I would say don't take them to a stage of inflexibility, to be able to do 31 well, which is to have that strong mountain as a base and the interactive lake as the interface requires a non pushable mountain and a very flexible lake. When you know your self-worth, no one else's actions can de value it, you set its value, so only you can de-value it.

What's Eleanor Roosevelt's saying???? people can only have power over you if you let them, something like that.

I guess I lean in the direction of relating vs. cutting off because I used to live by the motto " May the bridges we burn light the way." And I just ended up in the dark. I have returned to people I once thought total drains of my energy, but returned with boundaries and ones that I set, and not ones that I leave up to the other person to set.

I find people who are challenging for me to relate to, when I know how to surf in that sea, are apart of my life for a reason. Often for me I have to let them come and go more instead of having them as a daily part of my life which was my natural way to have relations. But the reason for this is because its actually me who wants the freedom to do this, and I only found the freedom when I let go and allowed it for others too.

I don't know if that's exactly your situation, but its what I see in 15... being that level field, that give and take.

This is a fantastic interpretation Chingching. It makes me feel that I'm not looking intently enough at the Yi anymore -- I've gotten lazy. That is, I have some "fixed" ideas on the hexagrams and lines and I'm not looking beyond. Maybe that's where I am in this relationship too! I even hate that word: relationship. I wouldn't use it at all except i'm not sure if there are many synonyms to describe an association with one of the other sex. Can we really even say "opposite" sex? How opposite are we? Now I'm going off the subject I guess.

But I looked at 15.2.3 and thought, on no, not this boring crap again; not this tea and cookies; not this meeting in the library to talk about the weather. This guy is always a Hexgram 15 of some order or other. Nice guys finish last? In any case, he's part of the reason I decided to load up on my religious and spiritual activities and give the remainder of life a rest. I wanted to regain a sense of myself and of some lasting achievement.

For the couple years I've known him, I just couldn't figure out what on earth I was supposed to do with his unconvincing presence. And that was probably as much my own fault as anything. Now that I've "reformed" my thinking, I realise that I always had a choice. And I realise I never asked the right questions of him.

I like your "give and take" reading. That sounds more accurate. Maybe I'm so busy weighing him up and taking too little account of me as any kind of a factor at all. It's a team effort -- hexagram 7. I'm half the team at least and surprised to think I could be leading this in any way. Have to contemplate that a whlle. I thought that by walking away and quietly shutting the door this would be over. I never expected to hear somebody tapping on the other side.

 

[chingching]

This is a little segue, but I was just looking at one of my favourite astrologer's blog and read this (it can never be said enough)

You are not your histories. You are not your choices. You are not how you have been treated by others and how you have treated others. You are a Divine being learning what it is to be human, which involves making choices through free will and then dealing with the results of those choices.

http://tdjacobs.com/blog/

 

[arabella]

Yes, very good point and well said. All the rest is rather tangential isn't it? :bows: