second and fifth line in relationships

[gene]

In line three of hexagram thirty eight the W/B commentary says.”Often it seems to a man (person) as though everything were conspiring against him.” How often have we felt that way? Most of us, no doubt have felt this way at times. We feel this way even in relationships. We don’t realize that everything that happens without is symbolic of something that is happening within. Therefore when life seems to throw us lemons we tend to react as if it isn’t fair. Something outside us is hurting us, and It seems very unfair. But the commentary goes on to say “However, he must not let himself be misled; despite this opposition, he must cling to the (person) with whom he/she belongs.” On a relationship level, if we receive this line, we are told at one level that we must not let present circumstances fool us into thinking the relationship is hopeless. On another level the line is telling us once again that the answer to all problems in life is to be still and allow the situation to develop. Anxiety creates only more anxiety, it cannot be otherwise, but when we allow things to take their own course, then, as in hexagram five line six, the commentary says, “But precisely in this extremity things take an unforeseen turn.. Without a move on one’s own part there is outside intervention." When we relax and allow the universe to flow through us we find that fate is favorable. In fact it cannot be otherwise, for the universe is always on our side and it is benevolent. The key is to not “chase after” our problems or the solution to our problems but quietly wait in the confidence that the universe is on our side. By doing so we are acting with innocence as in hexagram twenty five which says in line one: “Innocent behavior brings good fortune. “ The key is acceptance and confidence in the benevolence of the heavenly realm.

Gene

 

[gene]

In hexagram thirty eight line four, the person who in line three sees everything conspiring against him now finds himself isolated. This is the common course of those who take this mental attitude. Even when it would appear to be that way one must take the attitude they are not, then the problem slips away. In line four the person does not look at the problem, but looks at the solution. The solution is to find that which matches your own vibrations. In relationships also, it is important not to just try to change the person you are with, but to be the person with the right mental attitudes that allows us to be the person that would attract the right person. When we change our mental attitude we find the person who is a vibrational match for ourselves. (See hexagram sixty one.)

Gene

 

[gene]

There is something I want right now to make clear about using the I Ching to find out about relationships. The trick is to use it to find out about yourself. You can get information about the likelihood of something working through the I Ching, and that is all most people want. But if you use it in this way, sooner or later you will be very disappointed. The I Ching is not an automatic response system and is under no obligation to give you the type of answer you want. Therefore, if you are just looking for a divination, sooner or later, you will get hurt. It is so ironic that we can read a divination, get it right, understand it, and yet the divination unfolds in a way you totally did not expect. it is correct but not in the way you think. I am not saying you can't escape karma but you cannot escape karma in this way. It will sooner or later bite you until you figure out what you personally are doing wrong. The correct use of the I Ching is to get to know yourself, your habits, you tendencies that make or break relationships, and/or that keep you returning over and over again into the same disastrous type of relationship because of something in your subconscious you are not aware of.

Therefore, as I do this I will do as much as possible to maintain both types of reading samples and show the divination aspect, but by and large it will be a thread that teaches you about yourself and your own tendencies, because many tendencies are largely universal and most everyone engages in them, though they are totally unaware of doing so.

Gene

 

[gene]

Often hexagram thirty eight arises due to a misunderstanding. That could be a misunderstanding between two people or it could also be an inner misunderstanding between parts of our own mind. As such it is necessary to “bite through the wrappings.” We wrap our inner motives in a shroud of illusion, we falsify ourselves to ourselves and do not admit to ourselves our own motives and desires.

Whenever there is a misunderstanding between two people, as long as the misunderstanding has not gone to the point of no return, there is the possibility of reconciliation. We do, however, have to take some kind of action. Now, this action cannot be a form of chasing after someone, (see line one), but it does have to be a form of recognizing the inner person, and the truth of the situation. In order to do this we must often meditate on the situation. (See hexagram fifty two and twenty.) When we take the time to properly meditate and analyze a situation, we get to the bottom of the problem. In order to do this we must get to know our own selves deeply, and in knowing ourselves we come more thoroughly to know others. The commentary on hexagram sixty three says, “Thus visible effects of the invisible manifest themselves.” Biting through the wrappings is in effect finding the invisible basis or premise on which the problem hangs. Often that which appears to be the problem is not the real problem.

How often in relationships when our partner complains about something, we come up with a complaint of our own. “You do this.” “Well, you do that.” And the problem never gets resolved. We can only bite through the wrappings when we realize that there is a need to really listen to our partner, and ferret out the real problem, which often isn’t really the one that is being expressed. This requires an understanding of human nature that goes beyond the norm, and it requires paying attention to our partner’s needs, not our own. Therefore line five says, “If one goes to him, how could it be a mistake?” We have to dwell on their problem primarily, and if we do, often our own problem will be taken care of as well. We go to them, we do not expect them to go to us.

 

[superman]

Often hexagram thirty eight arises due to a misunderstanding. That could be a misunderstanding between two people or it could also be an inner misunderstanding between parts of our own mind. As such it is necessary to “bite through the wrappings.” We wrap our inner motives in a shroud of illusion, we falsify ourselves to ourselves and do not admit to ourselves our own motives and desires.

It's funny you should mention that. I looked at my digital clock as I entered my room and noticed that it read 4:32PM (I've had numerous encounters with 11:11, 2:22, 3:33, 4:44 and the likes, so I know that the universe was sending me a message). This happened right before I found out about this site through a google search.

So, there I was seeing 4:32 PM.

I look up the net for 4:32 and noticed that Acts 4:32 of the Bible reads:

All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they shared everything they had.

Then, I did a little *math* as follows: 4 x 32 = 128.

OMG! 1 2 8!

1 (unity) 2 (opposition/duality/elaborated by the mind, constantly) 8 ( see image )

The human heart is an electrogmagnetic center of the body (looks like an 8 on the image), so it would appears that 8 = heart.

So, I take it that "bite through the wrappings causing separation" means to unify the heart and mind (128, Acts 4:32) within ourselves, meaning a lot of our [relationship] problems occur because our heart (emotions/feminine) and mind (intelect/logic/masculine) are not on the same page, ie. they go their separate ways...

Let me give you an example:

If you're dreading those intimate times- then don't marry him. Soon, every little annoying thing he does (that most people do) will be intensly magnified. I once thought i would date a less attractive (to me anyway) man would mean i would be treated better and go the smart route. The lack of joy only led to me being far more critical and cause much deeper stress to me; a feeling I was failing, desperate, depressed, and judgemental. Thankfully, i didn't let it go on so's not to waste time. I realized it's the passion and the promise of it that let's us ignore the fact the other person is unbearably human and probably difficult. It helps us tolerate our mates even when it get's old. It's a matter of shared experience.

This person's relationship failed b/c she failed to integrate her mind ("go the smart route") and heart (longing for some passion) from the onset.

in contrast:

I can't believe some of the comments on here. I'm 42 but reading this I should be making myself a horlicks and should just be grateful for any sort of attention. Of course passion fades, but it should be there to start with. This woman is in her forties not her eighties. Never settle ladies. It's not fair to the man or yourself. Life is too short to not experience some passion. I would never take any advice from this person.

So, when you mentioned motives (mind) and desires (heart), an aha! moment occured to me!

 

[gene]

I find that quite interesting superman!

And let me say this. It all integrates. Everything, because all is one, that means one mind, one heart, it all belongs to the same consciousness. So all problems, all human frailties ultimately reside in one place, the place where the conscious mind, the ego, thinks itself separate from everything else. In order to integrate with anyone else, we have to be fully integrated ourselves, which is the true meaning of the "Marriage at Cana," and the true meaning of the story of the resurrected Christ who does not allow anyone to touch him until his integration into wholeness is complete. The story of the resurrected Christ is the story of the completion of the human body into a light body. That is the ultimate goal of marrying mind and heart, and being of one accord.

Gene

 

[gene]

I haven't got anything prepared today and very little time, but just a quick note about the sixth line of hexagram 38. It is our perceptions that create the life we experience. I don't mean our superficial conscious expressions but that part of us that is deeper. When we perceive the world to be dangerous, we attract dangerous situations to ourselves. When we perceive threats, we attract threatening situations. It is only when we give up our attitude of self defense, only when we accept life on its own terms, only when we change our attitudes and feelings toward our friends and relationships, that we find things take a turn for the better.

Gene

 

[gene]

Hexagram seventeen informs us that we must adapt to our surroundings and to the personalities of the people we relate to. That does not mean giving our self up, or martyring ourselves for the sake of the relationship. Instead it means to know first, what is needed, and secondly, what type of people we should relate to. It also tells us that we must serve when it comes time to serve, and rest, retreat back into ourselves when it is time to do so. We must not slavishly give ourselves away, yet at the same time we must give of our selves for the need of the people we relate to. Proper relationships must be based on the “joyous assent” of those we relate to. Otherwise the relationship is ultimately baseless and will lead to disaster in the long run. We cannot keep those we wish to relate to long term if we base the relationship on manipulation or deceit.

The second line tells us that in determining who we relate to we must make a careful choice. It is important when we receive this line and always that we do not “throw ourselves away on unworthy companions. If we run with the wrong crowd, the right crowd will see it and shun us. We cannot run with both types of people for very long. It is important in a relationship to early on come to terms with the nature of our partner and the character and morality of such a partner. For some this can be assessed very quickly, for others, it may take a time of observing. We must discern though, who is right for our circle of friends and who is not. And it will be better too for those left behind so they can find those they truly belong with.

As we grow we find our “standard changes.” (See line one) Those who once were a part of our path no longer fit in they do not grow in the same way, and it becomes necessary to reassess our partners and see what is in the best interest of both, for if it is not in the best interest of the person assessing, it is also not in the best interest of the person being assessed. It does no good to tie those together who do not belong together. In order to know where we belong and who we belong with it is often best to “mingle with all sorts of people.” When line two comes along, then we must make a choice.

Gene

 

[gene]

When we get to the third line of hexagram seventeen we come to realize that some things must be left behind. As we grow and become more complete within ourselves we find that things that once fit us no longer fit us, this can also involve relationships. Line one informed us that a change is due. It says, “The standard is changing.” In line two we were introduced to the more mature man. In line three we must let the past go. It is time for a new standard. Sometimes in our lives we come to the realization we have outgrown a situation or a partnership or both, and realize that it is best to move on. If there are emotional ties however, this can be hard to do. Nevertheless, by moving on we really find ourselves in the end, “satisfied” and we find ourselves further developing in our wisdom and understanding. It is an important step and must be taken without looking back, for if we look back, as in hexagram sixty four, the little fox gets its tail in the water.

Gene

 

[gene]

Hexagram 20 also fits the mold here with the fifth line yang and second yin. And this hexagram, as any, can be received when asking about relationships. However, I won't go into it much at this time as the lower trigram and lower nuclear trigram is k'un which relates to the mother, and as such is not so specifically relationship oriented.

I will say this, when the second and the fifth line change, you get k'en over k'an, which is hexagram four. Hexagram four is about lack of knowledge and the way to overcome that. Hexagram twenty is about observation, watchfulness, and respect. The way out of youthful folly is to watch and learn. We look up to our teachers, and those who watch over us, and observe their ways, which we learn to emulate.

In line two we do not yet have a full vision of that which is needed. In relationships we can be very unaware of the needs and desires of our partner. This is especially true since men and women have a different set of social rules which they follow, and as such misunderstandings and lack of awareness eventually create disturbances within the relationship. As such we really need to come to a way of understanding our differences, and overcome the error of our ways. One of the primary reasons that humans need relationships is that men and women tend to knock the rough edges off of each other. In this way we learn a different way of "viewing" or "observing" our world, and gain a better perspective on what it means to be human.

Gene

 

[gene]

It is now time to move on to hexagram twenty five. This hexagram also has a yin line for the second line and yang for the fifth. At first sight it would appear this hexagram does not relate to relationships at all, but it does counsel us extensively in the manner of approach. In hexagram twenty five the first line is a ruler of the hexagram and does not have the cautionary aspect that most first lines have.

The line says, “Innocent behavior brings good fortune.” If we look at hexagram one line one, the prototype for yang lines, we see that it says, “Hidden dragon. Do not act. As such we would expect a more cautionary aspect of line one in hexagram twenty five. But hexagram twenty five speaks of actions that come from the heart rather from planned actions, and are natural. Therefore, by “not acting,” we become more in tune with and in harmony with the heartbeat of the universe. Therefore, the principle of hexagram one being the prototype for yang lines still holds.

It is when we approach the opposite sex with no preconceptions of how it is going to turn out, no plans or schemes for attaining something from the opposite sex, that we have the greatest success. It has been said, that the person who cares the least in a relationship has the greatest control. At first glance, this seems counterintuitive and unfair. It is only when we realize that by “not caring,” we are giving the opposite sex permission to be who they are unconditionally, and the opportunity to operate without being controlled by the mate. The irony, and it really is an irony, is that this is more of a true love than caring in a possessive sort of way.

I will continue this story in the next couple of days. There is much to learn from this hexagram.

Gene

 

[gene]

When the second and fifth lines of hexagram 25 change, hexagram thirty eight comes about. Thirty eight is about estrangement, and that is the position we find ourselves in when we do not follow the advice given in hexagram twenty five. In line one of hexagram thirty eight it says, “If you lose your horse, do not run after it. It will come back of its own accord.” This line is not much more than a minor variation on line one of hexagram twenty five. Line one of twenty five tells us “Innocent behavior brings good fortune.” In other words, our actions must spring from the impulses of the heart and be natural. Nothing can be contrived. This is in part, and on one level, the meaning that Lao T’su had when he speaks of accomplishing through non action. The closer we can come to direct communication from the heart, the more our actions are in harmony with the vibrations and frequencies of the universe, and the more we accomplish the tasks that we wish to accomplish without (contrived) action. When we chase our horse it only runs away from us the faster. It only comes back when it feels no pressure from the owner. Then it comes back of its own accord. This is the same in relationships. When we demand too much we create disharmony in our relationship and in our personal lives and it serves to drive the significant other away. The significant other doesn’t return until he or she feels safe in doing so.

While most people are not mind readers, there is a subtle communication going on on the subconscious level that gives a subconscious impression relating to the nature of our interaction. (See hexagram 61.) In other words, even though we cannot consciously read our partners mind, there is a subconscious communication that gives an impression though we don’t consciously think about it. Everyone somewhere within knows the nature and personality of everyone they interact with, even if they cannot consciously describe it. If our innocence does not work for us, the relationship was not meant to be. Hopefully, we can look at that later in line six.

Gene

 

[gene]

The commentary on line two in hexagram twenty five says, “We should do every task for its own sake as time and place demand and not with an eye to the results. Then each task turns out well, and anything we undertake succeeds.” In one way this is a continuation of the theme in line one. Line one speaks of innocent action. Line two defines this as doing things for the sake of doing them, and not to contrive an outcome. This goes back again to Lao T’su’s principle of non action . Manipulation, and subterfuge might work for a while, but eventually the actions will boomerang on the perpetrator. It would be wise to stay away from such activities. When we simply do what is right because it is right, without worrying about the outcome, we find that normally things turn out well. This is a universal principle and this principle applies at any given time, not just when we get this hexagram.

In relationships we must apply principles consistently, and follow the principle even when it seems counterproductive. We do what is right. Even if it does not seem to be going well, in the long run it will, because we do not always know what is really good for us and what is bad. We have ideas, but they are based on faulty and contrived thinking.

These principles will appeal and make sense only to those who have a very deep understanding of the nature of the universe. It will be required to know that the universe has an intelligence and a consciousness. Without this understanding, the deeper elements of the I Ching will make no sense to anyone. We look for answers from a machine that just works for some magic reason, and leave out the spiritual aspect of its nature. It is absolutely essential that one understand this principle of universal consciousness, and that the I Ching is a doorway, a gateway to this universal consciousness. Without this knowledge you will never understand the I Ching, and it will never truly come alive to you. You may get some good answers to many of your questions, but you will continue to go through life frustrated, and feeling like a victim even when you get good answers. The I Ching is meant to teach you, not just tell you what is going to happen next. As Confucius says (in the commentary of the image,) “He who departs from innocence, what does he come to? Heaven’s will and blessing do not go with his deeds.”

Hexagram fifteen tells us that we are only a part of a greater whole, and in order to access that greater part of us, we must have humility. Cunning and manipulation do not exhibit any form of humility. And that greater knowledge, that greater awareness, the higher self within each of us cannot be accessed if we have the wrong attitudes or wrong actions. Without humility we are cut off from universal circuits; we cannot access our higher self, we cannot make our relationships work or our careers work, we cannot accomplish tasks in such a way that they turn out to be a blessing. We must become aware of this greater consciousness that is aware of all things, and has more information and more access to “hidden lines” than we do.

Gene

 

[springflower]

Gene, I have no words to express my gratitude for your priceless thread.
Thank you so much. Please, could you please share with us more knowledge about hexagrams and relationships?
I received the answer 3,2,5>19 and finally seems auspicious!

My respect!

 

[springflower]

The second and third lines are strong and interfere. In this hexagram the lady has no correspondence with the fifth line, by the rule, but here she actually does, because the ruler of the hexagram is the fifth line and is strong. In a sense, it can be said that the lady has two lovers. This is one reason why it is said, she is strong, and not to be married.

Looking this example, 44.2 44.3>12
If the strong woman is a man with two lovers the relating hexagram 12 what does mean? separation from both lovers?

What about the example of 45.2 45.5 > 40 for a couple who have seperated?

 

[gene]

Gene, I have no words to express my gratitude for your priceless thread.
Thank you so much. Please, could you please share with us more knowledge about hexagrams and relationships?
I received the answer 3,2,5>19 and finally seems auspicious!

My respect!

Hi Springflower

I will see what I can do. I am heavily pressed for time and failing in everything simply because I cannot do it all. I have a blogspot as well, which I haven't written on for several months but hope to. It is genesiching@blogspot.com. If there were a thousand hours in the day I couldn't even then keep up with everything, but I will try.

 

[svenrus]

Hi, did You mean this: http://genesiching.blogspot.com ?

When I opened Your link my mailbox pupped up.....

 

[gene]

Hi, did You mean this: http://genesiching.blogspot.com ?

When I opened Your link my mailbox pupped up.....

yeah, I think so. I haven't been there for a while, but getting ready to go back. I just tried it. It should come up with a screen that says, "I Ching for Personal Development."

 

[gene]

Gene, I have no words to express my gratitude for your priceless thread.
Thank you so much. Please, could you please share with us more knowledge about hexagrams and relationships?
I received the answer 3,2,5>19 and finally seems auspicious!

My respect!

Hi Springflower

As far as your reading hex 3 lines 2 and 5, before I say anything more, I need to ask you, how wrapped up are you in this? I get the feeling that you are overreading a little bit which often happens when we are obsessed with our relationships. On the surface it would seem that an obsession would be a great thing, but... For both men and women obsession with another person can often destroy the relationship. It is often best that we just love unconditionally and not concern our self with whether the relationship is actually going to work or not. I have made that mistake too many times myself when I wasn't even in a relationship, just wanted to get into one. Obsession can quickly scare someone away. Then we ask, what went wrong? What did we do or not do? And the answer is absolutely nothing other than try too hard. Line two of hexagram three can refer to that."Difficulties pile up because we are trying too hard." And that means the horse and wagon, (male and female) part. Once somebody has been scared away, it is very hard to get them back. The best way to maintain a relationship is to not care about the relationship. Doesn't seem very fair, but that is the way life works.