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What if he moves-in 1st of May?
- Thread starter millie
- Start date
J
jesed
Guest
Hi Millie
Jus in case the comment could be useful
When one starts something (in this case, what starts by moving), one needs to do the right thing on the right time.
In this answer, seems moving in is the right thing, but in that date is not the right time.
Note that 54 is pair of 53 (gradual development). 53 is better than 54 for mates (not only romantic mates, but economical etc.)
Best wishes
Jus in case the comment could be useful
When one starts something (in this case, what starts by moving), one needs to do the right thing on the right time.
In this answer, seems moving in is the right thing, but in that date is not the right time.
Note that 54 is pair of 53 (gradual development). 53 is better than 54 for mates (not only romantic mates, but economical etc.)
Best wishes
R
rosada
Guest
Can you give us a clearer understanding of your question, Millie? .Are you asking what the effect will be on your relationship if he moves in May 1st, or are you wondering if May 1st is a good date for actually getting stuff moved or if another date might be better, or just what is it you're trying to clarify?
Whatever the intention in your question, the hexagrams, Difficulty in the Beginning, and The Marrying Maiden sound like there isn't a real clear understanding of what this moving in signifies. Perhaps one of you would like to be married and is accepting "living together" as a consolation prize. Or perhaps the division of expenses and labor hasn't been fully addressed and the IChing is indicating this needs to be more specifically spelled out. Bottom line, it sounds like the plan to have him move in May 1st is still kinda half baked and there's a need to have a clearer idea of what we're doing and why(3) or someone will be left feeling they had to just go along with the choices and that they had no power (54).
Whatever the intention in your question, the hexagrams, Difficulty in the Beginning, and The Marrying Maiden sound like there isn't a real clear understanding of what this moving in signifies. Perhaps one of you would like to be married and is accepting "living together" as a consolation prize. Or perhaps the division of expenses and labor hasn't been fully addressed and the IChing is indicating this needs to be more specifically spelled out. Bottom line, it sounds like the plan to have him move in May 1st is still kinda half baked and there's a need to have a clearer idea of what we're doing and why(3) or someone will be left feeling they had to just go along with the choices and that they had no power (54).
R
rosada
Guest
Hmmm...this even sounds like June 1st is too soon. Perhaps you should ask the I Ching, "What do we need to consider for this move to go well?" and perhaps Jesed could give you a date.
Venus squares Saturn on Sunday June 4th (depressing for love and money). How about having him move in Monday June 5th?
Venus squares Saturn on Sunday June 4th (depressing for love and money). How about having him move in Monday June 5th?
dobro p
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"anything else i've asked about with this man is 31s and 53s and lots of 2s"
Geez Millie, just do it lol.
"What if he moves-in 1st of May? answer was 3.2.4.5 turning into 54."
The Yi's talking about that particular date, cuz that's the condition you put on the question. So in regard to him moving in on that date, the Yi's saying something like: "It'll be a difficult beginning that you'll be powerless to deal with."
But I think your question wasn't clear enough. "What if" isn't very precise.
Just the beginning, in other words. Now ask the Yi a question about how to deal with the situation when he moves in. I bet you get an answer that's easier to understand, cuz the question's less vague.
Geez Millie, just do it lol.
"What if he moves-in 1st of May? answer was 3.2.4.5 turning into 54."
The Yi's talking about that particular date, cuz that's the condition you put on the question. So in regard to him moving in on that date, the Yi's saying something like: "It'll be a difficult beginning that you'll be powerless to deal with."
But I think your question wasn't clear enough. "What if" isn't very precise.
Just the beginning, in other words. Now ask the Yi a question about how to deal with the situation when he moves in. I bet you get an answer that's easier to understand, cuz the question's less vague.
hi rosada, i didn't see your message until after i posted. you are all right: my question wasn't very clear, and that in fact does make interpretation difficult. this man and i have already decided to move in together. i don't think anyone is feeling it is less-than marriage. we have talked openly and asked good and hard questions of each other and ourselves. we talk about our future as though we will marry, and yet both also want transition time between here and there. we had planned to move-in June 1. what i mean when i say this is not the date exactly. it's more "by June 1" because that the end of the current apartment lease. the actual move day could be before. but now there is an opportunity for the lease to end a month sooner. so again- May 1 isn't necessarily the exact move date. it would however be a move that happens sometime between now and then. as much as i want to live together, it will be a transition to welcome someone else ito my home full-time. am i ready to do this in the next two weeks? or do I need the next 6 weeks to make my own internal transitions and organize space for him? that was where my initial questions were coming from. does this change anyone's inerpretation? thanks alot.
lightofdarkness
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54 covers the notion of an immature/premature action or person. The original 3 indicates sprouting, the new and so possible difficulties.
From an ICPlus perspective your question suggests:
(a) a focus on issues of values
(b) about what could be ("what if"?)
(c) undefined (are you instigating or reacting?) and so gives us two generic states to deal with but BOTH cover issues resolving around security seeking, lack of trust in another/others etc.
The water focus covers issues of protection/conservation - issues of supply of protection or necessities of life.
The wind focus covers issues of a need for supervision/umpiring/auditing etc and so a focus on time to cultivate due to possible anticipation of 'wrong doing' that needs to be smoothed-out.
The overall concern seems to be on issues of security seeking - a common issue when moving in (water covers the emotion of rejection/rejecting. Wind covers the emotion of anticipation of wrong doing (later refined into positive issues of cultivation etc)
The indication is these issues need to be discussed and clearly defined for both, otherwise each assumes things that are not assumed by the other.
From an ICPlus perspective your question suggests:
(a) a focus on issues of values
(b) about what could be ("what if"?)
(c) undefined (are you instigating or reacting?) and so gives us two generic states to deal with but BOTH cover issues resolving around security seeking, lack of trust in another/others etc.
The water focus covers issues of protection/conservation - issues of supply of protection or necessities of life.
The wind focus covers issues of a need for supervision/umpiring/auditing etc and so a focus on time to cultivate due to possible anticipation of 'wrong doing' that needs to be smoothed-out.
The overall concern seems to be on issues of security seeking - a common issue when moving in (water covers the emotion of rejection/rejecting. Wind covers the emotion of anticipation of wrong doing (later refined into positive issues of cultivation etc)
The indication is these issues need to be discussed and clearly defined for both, otherwise each assumes things that are not assumed by the other.
dobro p
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Geez Millie, just do it (grin).
"so i just asked - what's the best approach for me to take regarding us moving in together? i got 46 becomes 40"
Regarding you moving in together, the Yi's imaging things moving up to a higher level in a way that releases tension and moves beyond difficulty. It's a time of real attainment for you, and the Yi counsels getting in touch with whatever source of spiritual guidance you use, whether it's a person (preferred) or something else )(a book, perhaps). Don't worry - it's a good time to put the situation in order.
So - approach the situation in the knowledge you're moving to a higher level, and contact higher wisdom and don't worry.
"so i just asked - what's the best approach for me to take regarding us moving in together? i got 46 becomes 40"
Regarding you moving in together, the Yi's imaging things moving up to a higher level in a way that releases tension and moves beyond difficulty. It's a time of real attainment for you, and the Yi counsels getting in touch with whatever source of spiritual guidance you use, whether it's a person (preferred) or something else )(a book, perhaps). Don't worry - it's a good time to put the situation in order.
So - approach the situation in the knowledge you're moving to a higher level, and contact higher wisdom and don't worry.
hi. i'm on board with both LOD and DOBRO. we do have a few more things to discuss to make sure we aren't making assumptions about what this living arrangement will look like. and - we need to just go for it and do this. there is great love between us. we are also different in some important ways. we both want to be sure we are going about this in the right way. we want the best possible setup for our lives together and don't want to make any super big mistakes. it sounds like taking things step-by-step leads to reward.
lightofdarkness
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You will need to follow the path of wind with its focus on cultivation. Review the hexagrams:
46, 18, 48, 57, 32, 56, 28, 44
46,18 pair cover issues of getting more entangled with 18 being particular about neglect issues in communications, to start off the smallest 'difference' needs to be addressed such that confidence is built - but not then left alone, there is always some maintenance required.
48 and 57 cover foundation setting for future development, 32, 56 cover issues of commitement and the need to 'cook' the 'raw' to make it palatable. 28,44 cover issues of 'excess' both negative and positive in that excess includes going the extra distance for someone/something etc. (and 44 adds 'fun' in the seductive emphasis)
The transition then is to water and so 'us' vs 'them'. That then leads into mountain, refining quality control, and on into earth with its focus on unconditional devotion and trust (working backwards form earth, mountain covers 'little' betrayals, cross back into water and that is a path of major betrayal and on into wind where there is no trust as all - all is in need of 'cultivation' ;-)
Chris.
46, 18, 48, 57, 32, 56, 28, 44
46,18 pair cover issues of getting more entangled with 18 being particular about neglect issues in communications, to start off the smallest 'difference' needs to be addressed such that confidence is built - but not then left alone, there is always some maintenance required.
48 and 57 cover foundation setting for future development, 32, 56 cover issues of commitement and the need to 'cook' the 'raw' to make it palatable. 28,44 cover issues of 'excess' both negative and positive in that excess includes going the extra distance for someone/something etc. (and 44 adds 'fun' in the seductive emphasis)
The transition then is to water and so 'us' vs 'them'. That then leads into mountain, refining quality control, and on into earth with its focus on unconditional devotion and trust (working backwards form earth, mountain covers 'little' betrayals, cross back into water and that is a path of major betrayal and on into wind where there is no trust as all - all is in need of 'cultivation' ;-)
Chris.
lightofdarkness
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.... there is some trust - in time and issues of change (raw to refined, increased entanglement, commitments, going beyond the norm etc etc)
All yin based hexagrams cover these issues of trust in another/others whereas the yang-based hexagrams cover more issues of trust in oneself (and so the hubris that can come with too much yang! ;-))
All yin based hexagrams cover these issues of trust in another/others whereas the yang-based hexagrams cover more issues of trust in oneself (and so the hubris that can come with too much yang! ;-))
hi lightofdarkness - i'm not sure i follow you. i know where you get the 46 starting point above, but where do all those other hexs come from you, and why do you end up at 44 when my reading ended up at 40? i know you are trying to be helpful with these interesting ideas or qualities of emotion, it's just that i'm not seeing how they specifically relate to my reading or my question.
J
jesed
Guest
Hi Millie
I assume that you had made the decision on living together (so this is not part of the question)
I assume that your question is not about "to do/no-to-do", but "when is better to do"
I i'm right, i suggest you one question:
"general diagnosis of the Time of our plan to moving together" This aproach allows to derivate a time-frame advice
Best wishes
I assume that you had made the decision on living together (so this is not part of the question)
I assume that your question is not about "to do/no-to-do", but "when is better to do"
I i'm right, i suggest you one question:
"general diagnosis of the Time of our plan to moving together" This aproach allows to derivate a time-frame advice
Best wishes
lightofdarkness
(deceased)
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- Mar 16, 1970
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- 3
Millie, the list I gave you is the binary ordering of hexagrams with wind as base. The list represents all of the structures associated with issues of lack of 'immediate' trust in another/others and so a need for cultivation.
Given my analysis of your original question, not what was divined by whatever method you use, your focus seems to be on issues of security seeking, issues of current lack of trust and so need to make things well understood to start with and develop ('cook') over time.
In this mapping I commented above that it leads us to water and wind trigrams and your comments indicated favouring wind since things are to develop. I therefore gave you the list of wind hexagrams to consider in this moment.
The binary sequence is superior to the traditional in that it is the 'natural' sequence from self-referencing of yin/yang. The traditional sequence is DERIVED from the natural, as are MANY other possible sequences and as such are 'specialist' perspectives.
With the binary we can map out structural and proecedural dynamics of the IC - see such pages as http://members.iimetro.com.au/~lofting/IChingPlus or the essay listing page http://members.iimetro.com.au/~lofting/myweb/newindex2.html
or try out the page on mapping your emotional states to current context:
http://members.iimetro.com.au/~lofting/myweb/EmotionalIC.html
Chris.
Given my analysis of your original question, not what was divined by whatever method you use, your focus seems to be on issues of security seeking, issues of current lack of trust and so need to make things well understood to start with and develop ('cook') over time.
In this mapping I commented above that it leads us to water and wind trigrams and your comments indicated favouring wind since things are to develop. I therefore gave you the list of wind hexagrams to consider in this moment.
The binary sequence is superior to the traditional in that it is the 'natural' sequence from self-referencing of yin/yang. The traditional sequence is DERIVED from the natural, as are MANY other possible sequences and as such are 'specialist' perspectives.
With the binary we can map out structural and proecedural dynamics of the IC - see such pages as http://members.iimetro.com.au/~lofting/IChingPlus or the essay listing page http://members.iimetro.com.au/~lofting/myweb/newindex2.html
or try out the page on mapping your emotional states to current context:
http://members.iimetro.com.au/~lofting/myweb/EmotionalIC.html
Chris.
"answer was 3.2.4.5 turning into 54.
i'm freaked about the 54.
anything else i've asked about with this man is 31s and 53s and lots of 2s."
I don't like it. I think 54 is about the fact that you'll be putting yourself in an inferior position by living with this man without the benefit of marriage. Been there. Don't that. Will never do it again.
i'm freaked about the 54.
anything else i've asked about with this man is 31s and 53s and lots of 2s."
I don't like it. I think 54 is about the fact that you'll be putting yourself in an inferior position by living with this man without the benefit of marriage. Been there. Don't that. Will never do it again.
chris - thanks. you are right-on.
"Given my analysis of your original question, not what was divined by whatever method you use, your focus seems to be on issues of security seeking, issues of current lack of trust and so need to make things well understood to start with and develop ('cook') over time. "
exnohilo - i hear your concern. i hold that one also. but i'm thinking it may be ME that's putting myself into this secondary role, not him. i'm the one who thinks i need to start doing his laundry and the dishes, because i may not like the way he does them and because i may want to be in some control. but he's not asking me to be in these roles. i need to take a close look here. i don't believe the reading was an automatic -- the situation or this man will put you in a secondary role.
"Given my analysis of your original question, not what was divined by whatever method you use, your focus seems to be on issues of security seeking, issues of current lack of trust and so need to make things well understood to start with and develop ('cook') over time. "
exnohilo - i hear your concern. i hold that one also. but i'm thinking it may be ME that's putting myself into this secondary role, not him. i'm the one who thinks i need to start doing his laundry and the dishes, because i may not like the way he does them and because i may want to be in some control. but he's not asking me to be in these roles. i need to take a close look here. i don't believe the reading was an automatic -- the situation or this man will put you in a secondary role.
P
peace
Guest
Millie:
Didn't you write less than a couple of months ago about another guy you were very much wanting to have a relationship with?
Perhaps he is on your mind and think he is a possible option.
Rosalie
Didn't you write less than a couple of months ago about another guy you were very much wanting to have a relationship with?
Perhaps he is on your mind and think he is a possible option.
Rosalie
P
peace
Guest
I thought it was a different guy since the one you had been referring to hadn't answered a few of your e-mails and you were upset - at least that's what I recall - could be wrong.
46,3 I always found usually means theres no obstruction to your plan as such but theres nothing there to be found either. Its an empty city, no one guards it, no need to, theres nothing there.
54 I think isn't just about an actual kind of exploitation - can be more subtle. Like when someone is just with you, or you with them because you fill a certain role in their life, yet they don't really see or know you for who you really are.
I'm with Rosadas initial take on this question on her 21/4/06 post.
Then again if its what you want go for it, if it doesn't work hopefully release will be easy 46 - 40 ?
54 I think isn't just about an actual kind of exploitation - can be more subtle. Like when someone is just with you, or you with them because you fill a certain role in their life, yet they don't really see or know you for who you really are.
I'm with Rosadas initial take on this question on her 21/4/06 post.
Then again if its what you want go for it, if it doesn't work hopefully release will be easy 46 - 40 ?
well i'm having second thoughts about the whole relationship. i know that may come across sounding like i'm unstable. i do have loving and caring feelings for him and see a future for us. and i'm scared. i guess it's just some things we discussed this week that bother me. he's noted some habits of mine that bother him. and although i do have some room for improvement in these area, it's also mostly just who I am. he needs to decide if he can accept these parts of me without having to bring it up again. there are habits of his that are not my favorite, but i know that's part of the package. so what bothers me - a little arrogance that he's 'right' about my issues. it's the first time i'm feeling bad about myself in this relationship. or maybe, it's just that i am uncomfortable with the vulnerability of imtimacy. being seen in this way is hard. he feels what happens next is all up to me. he just wants me to tell him what i want. about the empty city and Femke's post: he told me yesterday that he doesn't feel his spirit is at my house because the room where he stuff would mostly go is filled with my stuff. he feels there isn't a place for him at my house. he's right. i haven't yet made space. why? mostly i think i'm just scared about the next step. it might be because it's too soon, and it might be because i've never lived with someone and so unknowns abound. i did another reading today about what's best approach for me with this relationship and got 58.6 becomes 10. i think my fears and tendancy to worry is making me take apart every little thing he's said that might be negative and blow it up. i think. but i do this with everything and not just him. maybe i should intro him to my house-gods as Femke says. he thinks our relationship is a gift and if we mess this up there may not be another gift waiting for us. i think this tells me how strongly he feels, or is it manipulative? he's never done anything manipulative before.
R
rosada
Guest
Hi Millie,
What's the best approach?
58.6 "Seductive joyousness. He has given up direction of his own life." Wilhelm.
Hmm, so I guess the I Ching is warning you NOT to let the pleasantness of the friendship distract you, and especially warning you about putting yourself in a position where you are no longer in charge. (Shades of 54?) Boy, that sure doesn't seem to validate having him move in just now.
I encourage you to move forward with clearing out the room and making space for him. You may find that by doing that you start to feel clearer about the relationship too. Or not. But it might be a good focus and certainly represents the original 3 and the need to sort out actual confusion.
Best wishes!
What's the best approach?
58.6 "Seductive joyousness. He has given up direction of his own life." Wilhelm.
Hmm, so I guess the I Ching is warning you NOT to let the pleasantness of the friendship distract you, and especially warning you about putting yourself in a position where you are no longer in charge. (Shades of 54?) Boy, that sure doesn't seem to validate having him move in just now.
I encourage you to move forward with clearing out the room and making space for him. You may find that by doing that you start to feel clearer about the relationship too. Or not. But it might be a good focus and certainly represents the original 3 and the need to sort out actual confusion.
Best wishes!
J
jesed
Guest
I suggest you one question:
"general diagnosis of the Time of our plan to moving together"
"general diagnosis of the Time of our plan to moving together"
rasada, isn't giving up direction of my own life something that happens in coming together with someone else? i mean this in a good way. if it's so bad a line reading, then why is it seductive JOYOUSNESS? isn't joy good? maybe i should find more interpretations for this line. also, he's worried about moving into the home that i own because he believes it won't be equal. so that's going on too.
well jesed, i took your advice. i asked for an assessment of the plan that he moves in sometime in May. i received 38.6 becomes 54. the hexs dont look good but the line was amazing. it couldn't be more clear that the only problem in this situation is me. if i put down my defensive stance, i'll open to the union i've prayed for. thank you.