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why do I often seem to irritate people? 64.4.5>59 and 44.2>33

Olga Super Star

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Why do I often seem to irritate people? 64.4.5>59

Speculation: 64.4 = I irritate people because I generally get praised?


And what do you suggest for more respect and consideration? 44.2>33


Keep away from strangers
 

pocossin

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Why do I often seem to irritate people?
64.4.5>59


It is because they represent a spirit that has passed. Actually, you don't irritate me. I think your projects are admirable. Myself, I am in a reforming mode, perhaps from drinking nettle tea, think there is little need for much of the inconvenience, disappointment, and suffering in the world, but people imagine they are already reformers, and don't want to be bothered, so I am irritating many. As long as I keep the cat happy, I don't care what people think :)
 
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sooo

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Maybe you're jumping the gun on that assumption? Lighten up. ;)

Be bolder, more self-confident, and retreat from being overly sensitive. A mentor once told me, "you wouldn't worry what people think about you if you knew how seldom they did." A joke, but it makes a point.
 

Trojina

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And what do you suggest for more respect and consideration? 44.2>33


Keep away from strangers
44.2 ...keep things to yourself more so that they have chance to develop. Perhaps you are involving others too much in your thoughts and plans and so somehow hindering the process of incubation

44.2...the lines says there is fish in the basket but not to share it with guests.

Be quiet. If you have a wish or a plan keep it to yourself. That way you can proceed towards your goals without attracting attention from others who may undermine it. Also talking about plans all the time might be what is irritating them.
 
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jzy369

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Olga:

For the first question, the convention I use is 64-5 as the main message supplemented by 59-4. The followings are the translated line text:

64-5: Continuing to move forward righteously and reaping some near-term rewards, subject has no regret even though the daunting challenge seems to be over subject’s head. Subject’s sincerity and determination shall win the support of others to help reach the final goal, thus auspicious.

59-4: Focus of improvement is turned to action groups. Subject shall dissipate the current organization arrangement, and such initiative shall be auspicious. Once the status quo is dissipated, subject shall uncover the underlying elements that need to be addressed, depicted as small dirt mounts. These revealed elements may contradict traditional thinking and reasoning.

While you move forward in your own righteous ways and reaping some rewards, could you be possibly exposeing short comings of those around you? I also agree with Trojina's 44-2-33 interpretation and recommendation above.
 

Trojina

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Olga Super Star

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You have posted this on 2 threads which is really confusing.
I did that because the question is more or less the same I posed a few months ago, so I considered it the same thread.
But then I created a new one.

Basically it's not in my head, I'm sure about it.
A lot of people have noticed it too.. that when I'm in a group of people someone would get really irritated but with not ACTUAL reason to do so!

This keeps happening all the time.
I asked these people more than once WHY were they so irritated about me the other day, and they coudln't answer.

It happens both with people that I see every day (house mates, people at work) and with people I don't know (shop assistant in a shop.. people sitting in front of me on the train..)
Sometimes I BARELY speak to them!

And when it is people that I see every day and I ask what happened, they can't say, but they recognise that they were irritated.

Usually after a while the friendship is over. They weren't real friends of course. Just people I was starting to go out with. Yet they get irritated by me but don't say WHY - and I find this stressful because if there were a real reason I could just do something about it.

I dont know: You're selfish! or you're mean, or you never keep your word. Things like that are reasons for being irritated. But I never get the chance to be accused of anything in particular, they just get irritated and leave.
 

Olga Super Star

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Why do I often seem to irritate people?
64.4.5>59


It is because they represent a spirit that has passed.

but people imagine they are already reformers, and don't want to be bothered, so I am irritating many. As long as I keep the cat happy, I don't care what people think :)
Hi Pocossin, what do you mean by " a spirit that has passed"?

And if you irritate people, apart from the fact that you don't care, do you have any idea why you irritate them? :)

Oh maybe I got that! Because you make it evident to them that they are not reformers at all?
 

Olga Super Star

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Maybe you're jumping the gun on that assumption? Lighten up. ;)

Be bolder, more self-confident, and retreat from being overly sensitive. A mentor once told me, "you wouldn't worry what people think about you if you knew how seldom they did." A joke, but it makes a point.
HI Soooo :)
The fact is that I'm bold enough I think. SO bold that people get irritated. Just I don't know HOW I irritate them. It's not something I say. I think. I don't know. It might be at this point..

The problem is not me being sensitive, I don't care either about what they think!
The problem is that in a group situation things start getting unbalanced and someone would start picking at me and talk to the others through me, as if I were the person to talk about that evening. I suddenly become the stupid jolly everyone is measuring up to.

A typical example: A dinner with new people. Dinner hasn't started yet, we've all just arrived, each of us introducing to each other, and suddenly there would be this person I know that would start making comments about me, not necessarily negative, but I'm there at their side, and they would speak of me the way you would speak of your 2 year old child when you meet a friend of yours at the supermarket.

I don't know if I've been able to convey what I mean, as English is not my first language.

Anyway people get irritated a lot. and disappear. Suddenly.
I may not care but it's weird ..
 

Olga Super Star

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Olga:
59-4: Subject shall dissipate the current organization arrangement, and such initiative shall be auspicious. Once the status quo is dissipated, subject shall uncover the underlying elements that need to be addressed, depicted as small dirt mounts. These revealed elements may contradict traditional thinking and reasoning.

While you move forward in your own righteous ways and reaping some rewards, could you be possibly exposeing short comings of those around you?
Jzy are these the i ching lines from your book?

I know why I tend to irritate people on facebook/forums chats about Israel/Palestine and other political issues (immigrants, religion, Charlie Hebdo..).
It's not because I have certain ideas (I sometimes don't even have a particular definite idea on a matter and I actually like to discuss so that I can form my own idea).
It's because I debate really well (so well that I once received a private message from a newspaper's director complimenting for the way I had debated an issue) that I uncover all the weaknesses and faults in their reasoning ;)
Sometimes they get really really angry (some of them wishing me death!) other times (especially if they're famous intellectuals or public people) they just ignore me. They don't reply because they would have to change their point of view.

But yes I think I tend to uncover things they're not aware in their reasonings.

But my question wasn't about facebook chat of course.
So I wonder if the same happens also in real life at real dinners and not just on facebook!
 
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sooo

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HI Soooo :)
The fact is that I'm bold enough I think. SO bold that people get irritated. Just I don't know HOW I irritate them. It's not something I say. I think. I don't know. It might be at this point..

The problem is not me being sensitive, I don't care either about what they think!
The problem is that in a group situation things start getting unbalanced and someone would start picking at me and talk to the others through me, as if I were the person to talk about that evening. I suddenly become the stupid jolly everyone is measuring up to.

A typical example: A dinner with new people. Dinner hasn't started yet, we've all just arrived, each of us introducing to each other, and suddenly there would be this person I know that would start making comments about me, not necessarily negative, but I'm there at their side, and they would speak of me the way you would speak of your 2 year old child when you meet a friend of yours at the supermarket.

I don't know if I've been able to convey what I mean, as English is not my first language.

Anyway people get irritated a lot. and disappear. Suddenly.
I may not care but it's weird ..
Okay, but you are not other people, and your questions reflect a lot of second guessing, yourself and others. This, to me at least (one of the others), comes off as insecurity, self-doubt, and if you'll pardon my bluntness, a bit paranoid.

What I'm interpreting is that you're assuming things, jumping the gun (64) and that 59 is water turning to mist, a form of "lightening up". Levity tends to make others feel more comfortable. Overly self-conscious puts others on edge.

What I'm saying about 44 doesn't mean being bossy and obnoxious, just relax and say what you really mean, without worrying what these others will think. You say you don't care, but if that were so, you wouldn't have created this thread (twice), and several others similar to it. Get comfortable in your own skin and don't concern yourself so much with what others think of you. More than likely, you would speak less and your words would have more power. That's why I'm not seeing 44 here as an oppressive indicator but a liberating one.
 

Trojina

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Jzy are these the i ching lines from your book?

I know why I tend to irritate people on facebook/forums chats about Israel/Palestine and other political issues (immigrants, religion, Charlie Hebdo..).
It's not because I have certain ideas (I sometimes don't even have a particular definite idea on a matter and I actually like to discuss so that I can form my own idea).
It's because I debate really well (so well that I once received a private message from a newspaper's director complimenting for the way I had debated an issue) that I uncover all the weaknesses and faults in their reasoning ;)
Sometimes they get really really angry (some of them wishing me death!) other times (especially if they're famous intellectuals or public people) they just ignore me. They don't reply because they would have to change their point of view.

But yes I think I tend to uncover things they're not aware in their reasonings.

But my question wasn't about facebook chat of course.
So I wonder if the same happens also in real life at real dinners and not just on facebook!
It seems to me that you'd like to think you irritate other people because you make them feel jealous or insecure or because you can uncover things... Yet I do not even recognise who you think 'people' exactly is. People are individuals who all think differently. We are not meant to make personal comments or character analyses here, it's against the rules.....but, since you are explicitly asking about yourself and it is the topic of the thread.... for example I find the above statement underlined kinda irritating. You sound to me as if you are giving yourself airs and graces in imagining you are so intellectually amazing these famous intellectuals ignore you. I can't even take that seriously.

Maybe you are overly self absorbed...Maybe if you stopped thinking about yourself and how others see you you'd irritate people less.

Please be aware I intend no offence to you here. I don't dislike you but I don't take some of what you say very seriously.

In life there will always be people who find one irritating, it doesn't really matter, just get on with things. Also try seeing people as individuals with their own concerns not just 'people' who are reacting to you.


....but you do seem quite nice and polite so that off sets the trace of megalomania I perceive. But you know megalomania can be fun....
 
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Trojina

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Oh and Olga if I have offended you please PM me and I can remove my comments. It isn't my intention to offend you here.
 

Olga Super Star

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No I'm not offended at all - but it is a fact that I've irritated some of you which is really interesting!
 

Olga Super Star

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And it is a fact that in a political conversation between strangers on facebook I would be the one attacked or ignored.
My shrink (psychanalist) says I'm un uncoverer of things :)
He says with me people feels lack of stability. So I was confirming JZY 369 of the possible truth of his speculation.

It's not that I particularly care. But it's frustrating. Some people leave my life, offended, banning myself; others keep asking me out, and then pick on me before others, with a big grin on their faces as if they had finally taken revenge.

The latest episode that happened was with a girl I met years ago, then I moved to another city so we remained friends on FB. She was vomiting on Charlie Hebdo and on people who support it and write "Je suis Charlie". Being one of those, I commented writing my reasons to do so (have lived in France, currently live very close to France, my Mom used to sing to me the French anthem when I was little..). She insisted that it was just 12 people dying, how many people die every day from cancer?

I replied that it's not a matter of number, it's a matter of how people die. And I did this example:
If your mother died of cancer, you would feel a certain sorrow. If she died killed by a drunk driver, the sorrow would be different. If she died because of her religion or ideas, the sorrow would be different.

She banned me saying that I'm disturbed for making such an example.
So I've irritated this person, but I don't see anything strange in my example.
And I was not the only one supporting Charlie that commented under her post.

It's like people accepted anything said by anyone except me. (not ALL people of course, but a lot of them).
As if I lacked any authority to say anything.
 

Olga Super Star

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Trojina said she found my statements irritating :flirt:
so I guess it's something in my behaviour.
 
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sooo

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Trojina said she found my statements irritating :flirt:
so I guess it's something in my behaviour.
Ah, I see. Well, she was quite specific about her reasoning, so at least you don't have to wonder why.

Really, Olga, I think people might be more puzzled by you than irritated. Of course if you deliberately push their buttons, you're likely to get an irritated reaction. I personally think it's just some kind of reassurance you're looking for. My main point is that assurance is best when it comes from within - self-assurance.

Anyway, I have nothing more to add to this, but please don't interpret that as being irritated. You've never irritated me, as my prior exchanges with you will testify.
 

Olga Super Star

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It seems to me that you'd like to think you irritate other people because you make them feel jealous or insecure or because you can uncover things...
it was a hypothesis

You sound to me as if you are giving yourself airs and graces in imagining you are so intellectually amazing these famous intellectuals ignore you. I can't even take that seriously.
That's because you are assuming I am not an intellectual.

Maybe you are overly self absorbed...Maybe if you stopped thinking about yourself and how others see you you'd irritate people less.
yeah it might be.

Please be aware I intend no offence to you here. I don't dislike you but I don't take some of what you say very seriously.
I think that's the point! People don't take what I say very seriously. You said it twice here..
So I believe I lack authority. That's why they want to shut me up. They think I don't even deserve to speak.

You know what?
People would stop me in the street to ask me for direction , and then don't trust me, they go and ask someone else. Both people that have known me for years (they just don't trust me about anything I say, they go check on google) and people that are just asking for direction in the street.

Fair enough. Next time someone asks me for direction I'll tell them to ask someone else since I AM NEVER BELIEVED!!
 

precision grace

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Lise's take on 44.2 is very apropos: "Make sure that nobody who is not essential to you can interfere with your life and future. Your future has to be YOUR future, not a mixture of influences. Only what passes through the gates of your inner essence and is found of value may influence. "

We cannot control how other people perceive us because even if we were to use all tools of manipulation known to man, we cannot always know through which prejudice we are being viewed. Plus, we often forget about our own biases and prejudices when considering any given scenario.

http://www.2knowmyself.com/How_to_gain_power_and_influence
 

Trojina

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LOL well this was my take on 44.2 I posted earlier. You'd asked how to get more respect and consideration.

44.2 ...keep things to yourself more so that they have chance to develop. Perhaps you are involving others too much in your thoughts and plans and so somehow hindering the process of incubation

44.2...the lines says there is fish in the basket but not to share it with guests.

Be quiet. If you have a wish or a plan keep it to yourself. That way you can proceed towards your goals without attracting attention from others who may undermine it. Also talking about plans all the time might be what is irritating them.

As for everything else ..I don't know you. Maybe you should ask those who know you...



I think that's the point! People don't take what I say very seriously. You said it twice here..
So I believe I lack authority. That's why they want to shut me up. They think I don't even deserve to speak.
Re read the advice of 44.2. Perhaps instead of speaking in order to convince people that you are this or you are that you should just get on with what you intend to do in life without speaking of it. As for what 'people' think about you, you don't know what every individual who meets you thinks.

I don't think you should encourage the idea in yourself that people do not think you deserve to speak. Afterall you have had numerous replies to this thread and others where people have not only heard you speak but taken you seriously enough to respond to you. Responding takes time so if people respond they are giving you time and giving you time surely means they think you deserve some attention.


As for your friend with those repugnant views re Charlie Hebdo....well good grief I should think you are better off without her.
 

Olga Super Star

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it's curious how I'm involving you people too much in my thoughts even here ..

ok I shall be more secretive from now on.

thank you all of you (a lot indeed on thisthread!) that have intervened!
 

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