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Will I find my man: Hex. 58 to 35

jasmines

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Hi,

I have went through a very hard emotional experience which I’m not over it yet 100% but in the process. I would say I have never been lucky in love. I actually had few love encounters in my life and all of them were drama in away and another. So I asked the oracle will I find my man and the answer is Hexagram 58 changing line 1,2,5,6 to 35. I feel that it’s a positive reading but I hope that it will not end in another drama.:confused:

Thank you so much for your insights.

Jasmine
 

mariah kaze

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Hi,

I have went through a very hard emotional experience which I’m not over it yet 100% but in the process. I would say I have never been lucky in love. I actually had few love encounters in my life and all of them were drama in away and another. So I asked the oracle will I find my man and the answer is Hexagram 58 changing line 1,2,5,6 to 35. I feel that it’s a positive reading but I hope that it will not end in another drama.:confused:

Thank you so much for your insights.

Jasmine

Hi Jasmine,

I read often here and don't comment often, so please look to others for their "seasoned" advice over mine but I'm reading a new book and will share some of it with you.

Like you, I think this reading is very hopeful. 58 is Talking and Practice so I think it's good that you're talking about how to make progress towards your goal. Another commentary I'm reading calls Hex 58 Joy.

Quote: Joy comes into the world through gentle means, but springs from a solid inner base. The power of pure joy should not be underestimated. The enjoyment of learning and discovery, for example, has been the source of much progress. Accordingly, that which brings joy into the world is a source of considerable power. End Quote

The lines would say something about the subjects you might want to bring up with your friends or others that you discuss relationship issues with. Part of learning what will make us happy is discovering what makes us unhappy - knowing what we don't want. Rather than continuing to have bad experiences, I think the Yi is telling you to thoroughly discuss these issues in order to learn what would bring you the real Joy you hope for.

The various changing lines (and you will have to bring this to yourself through study) say something to address the subconscious issues we all deal with in discovering what it is we want from and in a relationship. Knowing what you want is half the battle and I somehow sense that even though you know you want one, you don't really know WHAT you want from a relationship or how to get it.

Talk about it. Discover it. Be true to it. It will happen. I think you got a good answer and some of the other members here will probably give you more feedback on interpreting the individual lines than I would like to attempt. I read 35 as Sunshine - brightness and unhindered progress so I think you're on your way.

Here's one last thing I will say by way of seeking through the practice of I Ching: ask for what you want, the Universe will provide it for you - you put the question, expressed the need, now wait patiently for the fulfillment. It will come to you - even though it may be in a form you're not expecting - in fact, it's already on the way. Just discuss and practice and - wait - for -it :)

Good luck!
Chris
 

kkappa

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I think mariah kaze made a lovely introduction to your reading, so I'll just give you the lines after sharing this one point with you first - by phrasing your question in a way that is implying that it is more likely that you won't, you are sending a negative vibe out, a vibe of not believing that you can find your true mate. You will find this man, but you have to believe in it, too, because all the frogs along the way, even if there aren't that many of them - they are there to prepare you and teach you the things that'll make you the right partner for that person who is meant for you for the long term. But that doesn't mean that the frogs in between aren't meant for you either - they come into your life with all the subsequent drama to teach you something about you, about love, about life, they are necessary people. Without these experiences you will probably not achieve to be your true self in a relationship. I hope this makes sense. So Yi is not telling you here whether you will or won't, it is telling you that if you follow this advice, you are helping your wish along into becoming a fulfilling experience.

58 stay friendly and open to the world, go mingle
58.1 your feeling of content should lie in "a quiet, wordless, self-contained joy, desiring nothing from without and resting content with everything, remaining free of all egotistic likes and dislikes."
58.2 "We often find ourselves associating with inferior people in whose company
we are tempted by pleasures that are inappropriate for the superior man." - don't run after every opportunity - get to know who you're dealing with and whether he matches who you are before you make a commitment. Saves you from a lot of heartache.
58.5 Is supporting the previous line - don't have anything to do with men who don't serve you well. This is also about knowing who you are as a person, as a woman, what your values are and establishing boundaries. Don't run after anyone who promises even the least bit of love or romance before determining that they are in fact capable of providing that.
58.6 "If a man is unstable within, the pleasures of the world that he does not shun have so powerful an influence that he is swept along by them. Here it is no longer a question of danger, of good fortune or misfortune. He has given up direction of his own life, and what becomes of him depends upon chance and external influences." And again the same thing, know what you want, who you are and don't accept anything less than that, otherwise you will lose control over your own life.
35 do all that and you have an easy progress into a more fulfilling relationship

These are all very complicated things to find out about ourselves - what we want, who we are etc. Unfortunately it is often through being exposed to situations and people that don't agree with our inner most being that we learn, by contrast, to answer these questions. Hence why the drama filled relationships ARE important, as well as having patience and understanding that it's a learn-as-you-go kind of a process. We have to learn to crawl before we can run.

Love and light,
K
 

jasmines

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Mariah :Thank you so much. I really appreciate you taking the time to answer my inquiry. Your advice is really valuable. I never paid so much attention as I do now to this part of my life. I’m alone now for more than 10 years and all the people who approached me ended up running away from me. I really never felt cared for for a long long time. I started to lose hope but as you said we should not, if we want something badly, the universe will give it to us. I hope that luck will smile to me soon and pain will dislike me for even a short period of time.

k: Thank you. I totally agree with you, I always tend to sell myself short. but maybe becasue the opportunities I encountered were few. I will try to follow the advice. So kind of you to answer me.
 

kkappa

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If we want something badly, the universe will give it to us.

This is actually the 58.1 situation right there for you - you need to be happy with what you have and not be sending the message out into the Universe that you are lacking - wanting something badly is sending the message that you don't have it. Look, once you love yourself (that means having boundaries, knowing and accepting yourself however way you are - again, the same things all over again as I mentioned before), you won't feel like you need someone badly, you will feel love, universal love - for yourself, for anyone you meet, anything you do. You will literally have the kind of joy within you that asks nothing of anyone or anything because you already have everything. Inner joy is not found in external things and though life can be more fun and enjoyable with a partner, it can be equally as enjoyable by yourself if you just let it. Only in such a state can your heart's desire actually come to you.

I really feel like there may be a much deeper spiritual lesson here for you, and I'm only saying this because I can see myself in the way you talk about things. That thing about not feeling cared for... I can relate to it in more ways than I care to admit. What really helped me in getting over that way of viewing the world, was by realising that I was not taking care of myself because I didn't feel like I was worthy of being taken care of and so that's how I interpreted everything in my world to be - not taking care of me. But in reality, I wasn't setting boundaries, I wasn't trying to avoid dubious people or situations, I was literally letting external things control what happens to me and how I felt about them. Until I stopped, took control and found my center. I don't mean to put it like "oh you just do it and then it's done" because the reality was that it was a very f*cking painful process which also involved cutting up wounds older than my active memory (hi, mother and father!). Going out on a limb here and suggesting meditation, healers etc. for you, because there is something deeper here that is stopping you from believing that you are a wonderful human being and nobody is running away from you, unless you prefer to interpret it as such and letting it control your actions.

I'm sorry for the monologue!
 
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jasmines

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Thanks K for sharing. I understand your points and I guess you are right.
 

wind

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I love the two interpretations you received from Kkappa and Mariah. If you don't feel ready to move on or if you're not over the previous relationship, don't go into another one just yet. You'll only be short-ending yourself and the other party. Go out and mingle with an open mind and let things happen on their own. Best wishes and good luck!

P.S. Kkappa is right. Find your own self worth and never make it available for someone to take from you.!
 

mariah kaze

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This is actually the 58.1 situation right there for you - you need to be happy with what you have and not be sending the message out into the Universe that you are lacking - wanting something badly is sending the message that you don't have it. ......

kkappa You are SO right here and I appreciate that you said this. What we ask of the Yi is to give us guidance in reaching a new level of awareness of our "selves" and you points to a very important shift in thinking that goes along with this awareness.

What we *think* is real, *is* real in a very tangible and observable way. If we think we're "needy" - we are. If we think however, that there is always more for us to learn and that what we know we are to learn is "love" one another, then asking for the next step in the ladder of growth in an open and accepting way, will bring the right experiences to you follow the path. There is no harm in asking - even asking in the "wrong" way. Where comes the harm is in not accepting the answer we get. Always a good one for me to remember.

[...]
I don't mean to put it like "oh you just do it and then it's done" because the reality was that it was a very f*cking painful process which also involved cutting up wounds older than my active memory (hi, mother and father!). Going out on a limb here and suggesting meditation, healers etc. for you, because there is something deeper here that is stopping you from believing that you are a wonderful human being and nobody is running away from you, unless you prefer to interpret it as such and letting it control your actions.

I'm sorry for the monologue!


Great monologue and good points. :) Thank you.

Good advice that I think many of us benefit from.

Chris
 

mariah kaze

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Thanks K for sharing. I understand your points and I guess you are right.

I think most of us at times, don't know how to make ourselves happy without getting some help with sorting it out. I have no shame in telling you that when I feel confused and conflicted, I usually find someone who will just listen and let me spill it all out, no matter what it *sounds* like at the time. I am fortunate in having several outlets for that , BTW. We all need more than one friend. I have found that each of my friends has a little something to teach me about my relationships if I care to be observant and listen.

I've also found at times that I am feeling the *neediest* will be about the time that the Universe dumps me on my ass and I have to go it alone until I straighten up my thinking - it's always my thinking - and it is yours too - and everyone's - what we think we are - we are. So. If you are unhappy, dissatisfied and unfulfilled, how can we help you to change that thinking and become someone you want to be more? I'm going to like and accept you no matter what you want me to think you are at this point and without knowing you any better.

That, I think is the purpose of I Ching - to help us straighten up our thinking and accept ourselves. Simply by asking, you will receive.

Love one another!

Chris
 

jasmines

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Mariah,
Thank you so much for your words. I really need them.
In general, I’m a happy easy-going person but I said recently I went through a bad experience ( I have another post regarding it- in short it was an intense affair that ended up with him avoiding me without any reasons). The experience opened my wounds and pushed me to think deeply about my approach toward life. One thing I learned is each one of us should know his/her value and not wait for people to take decisions on their behalf . I waited for a decision from this guy to whether to have an affair or not instead of looking for my interest and the result is having to go through this turmoil.
As a fact, I’m not looking for any love now, I’m so hurt and closed and no way I would like to go through the same never ever again.
Thanks
Jasmine
 

long yi

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When you learn Iching analysis,

1. Analyse all situation with a clear mind. Yes, in times of crisis or unsettled mind, it is better to analyze the reading with others who may be able to help you.

2. Believe in a religion or God or heaven. Iching is the teaching of heaven.

3. Learn to fear nothing, worry about nothing. In life, there is always ups and downs. This is the year of Gui (female water) and si (female fire). As you can guess, water and fire do not mix. There has to be a state of equilibrium for everyone. The water crosses over into the fire after August 8 2013 onto the next six months. I do not use Aug 4 because in combination with other events, Aug 8 is the commonly accept cross over time.

Now to your reading:

The big picture:
58 is Tui. It is a three pairs of conflict line hexagram: 1/4, 2/5, 3/6 line character are confrontational or setting events in motion. Upper and lower trigram are also identical (6 pure hexagram: Tui trigram 1,2,3 and Tui trigram 4,5,6). This is all metal.

Metal produces water. Problems that have not showed its ending, now shows its end results. Hexagram 58 is not good for relationship analysis because there are conflicts. However, if it changes to another hexagram, such problems are for the moment and not permanent.

Tui is a female. 58 has two females in the picture. They are not totally confrontational, they do not get along. They compete for the same things or the attention of the same person.

Two females competing for the same man - quarrels and fights. It does not have to be a love rival. It can be the man's female relative (sister, mother, ex etc.)

Tui is the joyous lake. Water in the lake does not go out to get things. People come to the lake to get the water. Inner peace is achieved when you are not taking the lead at this time on anything.

Hexagram 35 is in the drifting soul category. Events and progress are not permanent. At the end, peace is restored by seeing someone leaving and moving out of your life. Things again are for the moment and not permanent. This will depend on how you handle the aftermath.

起卦时间:2013年02月13日07时39分
起卦农历:癸巳年正月初四日辰时


神煞:天乙—寅午 福星—午 日禄—申 羊刃—酉 驿马—申 桃花—卯 华盖—戌
干支:癸巳年 甲寅月 庚戌日 庚辰时
旬空:午未  子丑  寅卯  申酉

六神  伏神    兑宫:兑为泽(六冲)     乾宫:火地晋(游魂)
         【本 卦】           【变 卦】
滕蛇       ▅▅ ▅▅ 父母丁未土  世×→ ▅▅▅▅▅ 官鬼己巳火  
勾陈       ▅▅▅▅▅ 兄弟丁酉金  ○→ ▅▅ ▅▅ 父母己未土  
朱雀       ▅▅▅▅▅ 子孙丁亥水     ▅▅▅▅▅ 兄弟己酉金 世
青龙       ▅▅ ▅▅ 父母丁丑土 应   ▅▅ ▅▅ 妻财乙卯木  桃花
玄武       ▅▅▅▅▅ 妻财丁卯木  ○→ ▅▅ ▅▅ 官鬼乙巳火  
白虎       ▅▅▅▅▅ 官鬼丁巳火  ○→ ▅▅ ▅▅ 父母乙未土 应

Basic Parameters
58.6 parent wei earth (h)* 35.6 parents wei earth
58.5 sibling you metal* 35.5 parent wei earth
58.4 child hai water 35.4 sibling you metal (female)
58.3 parents chou earth (g) 35.3 assets mao earth
58.2 assets mao wood* 35.2 officer si fire (male)
58.1 officer si fire* 35.1 parents wei earth

Time parameters
Year: Gui water si fire (wu fire, wei earth)
Month: Yin wood (zi water, chou earth)
Day: Xu earth (yin wood, mao wood)
Hour: Chen earth (shen metal, you metal)
Environment Parameters
Azure Dragon (青龍, Qing-long), line 3
Vermilion Bird (朱雀, Zhu-que), line 4
Curved Array (勾陳, Gou-chen), line 5
Flying Serpent (螣蛇, Teng-she), line 6
White Tiger (白虎, Bai-hu), line 1
Murky Warrior (玄武, Xuan-wu). Line 2

The boundary of your current situation is trapped by 35 line 3 and 6 (parents line – meaning relationship. Parents may mean marriage document or parents. Same in 35.1 and 35.5.
In addition, the male also set confinements 35.6 and 35.2 You are the female in 35.3 (going nowhere with all this).

Line 3 chou earth and line 6 wei earth are in conflict.
Line 6 is host line. Line 3 is guest line. Parents or relationship documents box the situation. Wei earth is the empty element in 2013. This boundary is weak, meaning no relationship documents (no bondage).

Line 6 releases the man si fire. Male Si fire and parents line wei earth hurts each other. It appears the parent is the obstacle to things. The man moves on (line 6) and still supports the parent line 5 wei earth in hexagram 35. This seems to be a settlement of the final ending of things.

Hex 58.2 is the female mao wood moving to get the man si fire in 35.2
Hex 35.12 is the man moving to please the parent wei earth in 35.1

Ending: 35.3 female mao wood produces 35.2 male si fire and then produces 35.1 wei earth.
This appears to be in harmony (not true), but please look back in hex 58.

58.1 male si fire is in confrontation with 58.4 female’s soul. After all that change, the male is si fire in 35.6 and 35.2. He still conflicts with 35.4 female soul.

He does not love her or care about her. This is the problem.
The month of reading is yin month (house of marriage). This couples with the female soul hai water. The female holds herself back (no suitable takers or lovers or partners).

The querent inquired whether another suitor will show.

35.5 is the you metal (another person, hopefully another male). You metal is the empty element under her soul. Therefore, he does not exist or has not entered the picture. She has no confidence in finding this person.

35.2 female and also 35.5 third party man conflicts and both are change lines. Both parties are going separate directions. 35.3 female mao wood and 35.4 you metal male conflicts at the door position. This is an encounter at the half-foot in and out situation, no agreement or common interest can be met.

If the above is correct, male si fire is you ex-lover or partner moving on.
The third party you metal is the one who just come in and out of your life later on this year.

Si fire is after August and set the boundary for everything you do in hex 35. It is a bit messy, but he will be out of your life by the month of hai water (Nov 2013).

Iching reading cannot be used to ask? 1. Can one find a boyfriend? 2. Can one find a job? Etc. The other parties must exist and be defined. Questions such as: “Will Mr. X is a good choice and is there any potential” are specific questions.

Abstract question will result in the re-appearance of your current situation and it is not good spiritual learning for your journey of learning. The happiness star is wu fire male. It does not show in this reading. So, do not expect your dream person to appear. Lake is still water, but it can be peaceful.

Quote from Rosmary Burr on hex 58:

This is an enjoyable period in your life, when you can create
new patterns of happiness. We often learn from our parents what
makes us happy; now is the time to discover joy in the small things
of life. Count your blessings each night before you go to sleep,
and focus on all the good in your life.

Line analysis

Line 1
You don't need to rush around or party - your
happiness comes from sharing quiet, intimate moments
with your lover. Have fun, and be inventive and
passionate.

Line 2
You're tempted to hme a fling with someone who is
unreliable. Don't let lust get the better of you. Stay
away from this person and you'll have no regrets. If you
succumb to temptation, the consequences will be
traumatic.

line 5
Someone or something poses a threat to your
emotional well-being. Don't develop a craving for a
particular person, or let an addiction to any substance,
ruin your peace of mind. Distinguish clearly between
love and lust.

Line 6
You're about to be seduced by someone who doesn't
have your interests at heart. Is the short-term pleasure
of passion really worth the long-term pain of regret?
Look within and focus clearly on your goals.

Unquote

:bows:
 
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jasmines

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Dear Long Yi,
Thank you so much for your kindness. I really appreciate your analysis. You are right, the ex lover's (who I'm trying to get over) problem is his mother. She seems to have strong influence on him and advised him to avoid me. I thought that I would be able to sway him my way and take it from there but I was wrong. And now because of his rejection I feel so bad and wish to run far. I'm ok for not having anyone now because I need to sort myself out. I wish if he will leave to his next assignment so soon to help me recover. Thank you again. with full respect, JasmineS
 

mariah kaze

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Mariah,
Thank you so much for your words. I really need them.
In general, I’m a happy easy-going person but I said recently I went through a bad experience ( I have another post regarding it- in short it was an intense affair that ended up with him avoiding me without any reasons). The experience opened my wounds and pushed me to think deeply about my approach toward life. One thing I learned is each one of us should know his/her value and not wait for people to take decisions on their behalf . I waited for a decision from this guy to whether to have an affair or not instead of looking for my interest and the result is having to go through this turmoil.
As a fact, I’m not looking for any love now, I’m so hurt and closed and no way I would like to go through the same never ever again.
Thanks
Jasmine

Jasmine, You are welcome to whatever you can glean from me. :)

Well. I've sure been there and I do know all the anger, frustration and fear you are feeling. It's not time for you to look for someone new, I agree, no matter what your reading says about it now.

Take a lot of time for yourself here and, I hope you won't be offended, talk to someone. Don't be alone and lonely. You DON'T need a man in your life to find yourself. Hard lesson for me too but when you know you can be you without having to be what "he" wants you to be, the real man of your dreams will find you, if that's what you really are looking for. It's hard to wait, I know. Re-focus - on YOU - and develop past the hurt and the grief over what you feel you "lost" in this encounter.

I hope this helps: one day, after the man in my world had gone to work, leaving cross words behind him, I made up my mind. I just did. Made up my mind that I was going to find a way to *not* let that hurt me. I think I cleaned a cupboard - just scrubbed the tar out it - and as I worked, I tried to forgive him for being the mean-spirited person he still is. And a feeling kind of washed over me as I realized that the person I had to forgive was myself - for being human and vulnerable and yes, reacting with anger too.

And I realized how I had been played. Not that he meant to. He was just being himself and I really don't think his anger was directed AT me but, if he can hook me into being angry then it justifies what he does about his own issues - which is avoid them and blame me. Hey, no fair! And I got to laughing ... since when is life fair? And yea, now and then he still gets to me and I get mad. I'm still human.

I'm still working on how not to get hooked into other people's emotions but I can say to you that if you can find a way to forgive him (that does not mean take him back - nother subject) - for being human and himself - then you will stop hurting yourself over this.

When you're there, then it will be time to find love again. It's definitely not as easy as I've made it sound. :hug:

Chris
 

jasmines

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Dear Mariah,
Big Thanks. As you said it is not easy as it sounds but it is very much true. I’m sad to hear about your experience and hope that the future will have great things in store for you. You deserve it. My tip here is take people as package and forget them as package too. So when I forget, I forget and end up with no feelings of any sort.
While I’m closed now (not willing to accept Mr. Mickey Mouse ), I know for sure that living without love is almost impossible and for sure I may go through another experience which I hope to be pleasant.
I pray that each person in this forum and in the world has whatever he/she wishes for and no one has to suffer or feel the rejection I feel right now.
Jasmine
 

jasmines

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Hi,

I want to give you an update and post a question. I endeed found a new guy who I consider him just a friend now. In the same time, the story with the old one haven't ended 100%, the saga is going on but I'm not so concerned. I asked today about the new guy if there is a potential and I got 9.2.5 to 22.
In Hex 9...There cloud but no rain, Line 2 talks about returning, to whom, the first guy ? Line 5 talks bout being sincere. What I feel that there could be a potential but I have to wait.

I'm eager to hear your feedback.

Thanks
Jasmines
 

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