Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom
Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).
loathsome_dove
visitor
- Joined
- May 9, 2019
- Messages
- 5
- Reaction score
- 2
I’m in a rough spot with a woman I believe I have a cosmic connection with. We’ve been dating for a year. Any help with the readings would be so greatly appreciated!
Last month we went on a break because I needed to set a boundary with her about anger issues. After two weeks she apologized and told me she would work harder on addressing this. Which she has. A week after we came back together she got covid. The second day I got to see her since she came out of quarantine I said some things without thinking that made her feel bad about herself. Specifically I said it looked like she had lost some weight. This was out of concern, because she is a naturally skinny person and she looked unhealthy. I didn't consider how it would make her feel self-conscious about her body. And I feel terrible about it. I have ADHD, and struggle with saying things without thinking. If this had been any other time she would’ve accepted my apology and moved on. But since we were on shakey ground she connected what I said to a larger pattern she sees as an incompatibility. I feel she's overreaching.
What it boils down to is that I think she interprets me as darker than I am. I try very hard to see things from her perspective. I always own up when I am in the wrong. I apologize immediately, and I try really hard to be the best I can be for her, for me, for both of us.
We didn’t talk over the weekend at her request. She was extremely upset with me, because this is something she’d talked to me about before. That’s also something that tends to happen when you’re in a relationship with someone with ADHD. We have poor memories, and we also tend to speak without thinking. But apparently what I said was the last straw. I spent the whole weekend thinking about what I said and how it made her feel and it gutted me. I never want to make her feel bad about herself. I only want to raise her up. And the fact that I did, even though it wasn’t intentional, made me feel horrible. I wrote her a letter about what I realized, and how sorry I felt. I went over to her house and read it to her and broke down weeping because it hurt me so much to know I hurt her, even by accident. She started crying too and said she was confused and wasn’t sure she wanted to read her letter to me. Then she did. And it was a break up letter. We went back and forth for a while talking about things. And it seems she’d pretty much made up her mind. But now she’s confused. It’s like she forgets who I am sometimes, and how hard I work to try to see things through her perspective. I really do feel this is a cosmic connection—so many synchronicities with us in our relationship, and the things we want to work on about ourselves are the things that bother us in our relationship. It feels like an opportunity from the universe for us to grow together. So I suggested, since we basically had a month apart thanks to the two-week break and then her getting covid, that we just be together for a month, keep dating—to come back together in the way we hadn’t had a chance to yet. I told her I believe we just got over the biggest hump in our relationship and the best is right around the corner. At at the end of that 30-day period we’ll talk. If she still feels like breaking up then, we'll do it. She wasn’t sure about this idea either, so I told her she didn’t have to decide that day. I left. And a few hours later she texted me and told me “I’m feeling so many conflicting emotions right now. Thank you for giving me time to just process.”
Before we talked and read our letters to each other I asked the Ching about the future of my romantic relationship with her and received 14.4.6 > 11. Then last night, after we talked I asked the same question and received 34.1.6 > 50. I would love some help interpreting this.
Last month we went on a break because I needed to set a boundary with her about anger issues. After two weeks she apologized and told me she would work harder on addressing this. Which she has. A week after we came back together she got covid. The second day I got to see her since she came out of quarantine I said some things without thinking that made her feel bad about herself. Specifically I said it looked like she had lost some weight. This was out of concern, because she is a naturally skinny person and she looked unhealthy. I didn't consider how it would make her feel self-conscious about her body. And I feel terrible about it. I have ADHD, and struggle with saying things without thinking. If this had been any other time she would’ve accepted my apology and moved on. But since we were on shakey ground she connected what I said to a larger pattern she sees as an incompatibility. I feel she's overreaching.
What it boils down to is that I think she interprets me as darker than I am. I try very hard to see things from her perspective. I always own up when I am in the wrong. I apologize immediately, and I try really hard to be the best I can be for her, for me, for both of us.
We didn’t talk over the weekend at her request. She was extremely upset with me, because this is something she’d talked to me about before. That’s also something that tends to happen when you’re in a relationship with someone with ADHD. We have poor memories, and we also tend to speak without thinking. But apparently what I said was the last straw. I spent the whole weekend thinking about what I said and how it made her feel and it gutted me. I never want to make her feel bad about herself. I only want to raise her up. And the fact that I did, even though it wasn’t intentional, made me feel horrible. I wrote her a letter about what I realized, and how sorry I felt. I went over to her house and read it to her and broke down weeping because it hurt me so much to know I hurt her, even by accident. She started crying too and said she was confused and wasn’t sure she wanted to read her letter to me. Then she did. And it was a break up letter. We went back and forth for a while talking about things. And it seems she’d pretty much made up her mind. But now she’s confused. It’s like she forgets who I am sometimes, and how hard I work to try to see things through her perspective. I really do feel this is a cosmic connection—so many synchronicities with us in our relationship, and the things we want to work on about ourselves are the things that bother us in our relationship. It feels like an opportunity from the universe for us to grow together. So I suggested, since we basically had a month apart thanks to the two-week break and then her getting covid, that we just be together for a month, keep dating—to come back together in the way we hadn’t had a chance to yet. I told her I believe we just got over the biggest hump in our relationship and the best is right around the corner. At at the end of that 30-day period we’ll talk. If she still feels like breaking up then, we'll do it. She wasn’t sure about this idea either, so I told her she didn’t have to decide that day. I left. And a few hours later she texted me and told me “I’m feeling so many conflicting emotions right now. Thank you for giving me time to just process.”
Before we talked and read our letters to each other I asked the Ching about the future of my romantic relationship with her and received 14.4.6 > 11. Then last night, after we talked I asked the same question and received 34.1.6 > 50. I would love some help interpreting this.
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