Shall I soon start to look for another job? Hex 4.2>23

[MrKind]

So I am still in the same work due to slight pay rise.. but the people are negative and toxic and on some days its just too much. I asked the oracle and received this casting... I think that line 2 in Hex 4 says that I am a person competent to handle the situation

Wing: The person in this position has indeed developed in himself a true appreciation of humanity in all of its folly and beauty. Such a person can lead others with wisdom, compassion, and inspiration, and attain all the success attributed to the great and wise historical leaders.

but then Hex 23 line 2 says:

Wilhelm/Baynes: The bed is split at the edge. Those who persevere are destroyed. Misfortune.Blofeld: He continues peeling off at the edge of the bed. There is no steadfastness -- misfortune! Blofeld: This implies being left without friends.

So this sounds somewhat terribly bad. What would you say?

 

[rosada]

You ask "SHALL I SOON start to look for another job?" It's not a clear what you are asking. What do you mean by "shall"? Are you asking if you should start looking, as in having a choice, or are you asking for a prediction, as in not choosing to look but being forced to? And "soon" is relative - do you mean this month? This year? What's "soon"? Somewhat terribly bad question, LOL!

Anyway, yes 4.2 does say you are competent to handle the situation. 23.Splitting Apart reads like a very painful way go making changes. Therefore I read this as you being told that if you can stay focused on your current duties* you shall not be looking for another job in the near future. It might also be saying a better situation may open up eventually but for now you are in a place that is suitable given the options out there right now.

*4.2 The Fool may be advising you to stay very focused on simply doing your job and not to get distracted (4.3) by what others around you are doing.

 

[MrKind]

Hi Rosada, well the another thing is that I ask the Oracle in my native non-English language, and I just post the translation here. Also I believe that subconsciously when I ask ''soon'' in my mind I KNOW what it means to me (in this case its like 2-3 months, soon, rather soon like this year, not in 2-3 years) - does that make sense? Thank you. On some level yes, I am satisfied with work and being surrounded by negative people means there are still lessons for me that I need to pass before moving on [whether in this company or elsewhere]. Thank you!

 

[rosada]

I think of hexagram 4 as describing some situation that can only be mastered by experiencing it. Like you can't learn how to ride a bike by reading about it, you can only learn by getting on the bike and riding it. 4.2 seems to describe a situation that is ideal for the moment but as it changes to 23. Splitting Apart it sees to suggest that if you get outside of this comfort zone you'll be in difficulties. So count your blessings where you are right now and strive tolerant everything you can and particularly be through in completing all projects.I wonder if you might get value from asking "What do I need to realize in this current position?" or "What am I here to experience?" or "what do I learn from this experience?"

 

[MrKind]

I asked "What do I need to realize in this current position?" and got Hex 13.2>1

Hex 13 line 2 Cleary (1): Sameness with people in the clan is regrettable.

so does it suggest that acting in the same way as others (allowing other people to influence me badly) will cause myself becoming just like them?

Wing: There is a tendency toward elitism and exclusivity. This creates limitations for everyone in society. Such a situation of egotism and selfish interests will bring regret.

this sounds like confirming my initial idea... also Hex 1 line 2 mentions not only dragon

Wilhelm/Baynes: Dragon appearing in the field. It furthers one to see the great man.

but also suggests that by holding into my principles I will become a great man/superior man - and this is the outcome that will happen, if I will pass all of the challenges

Legge: We have the superior man developing, by means of the processes described, into the great man, with the attributes of a ruler, the appearance of whom is a blessing to men. / Siu: A transformation ensues. The man appears among his peers, although not yet in a position of authority. His virtues are displayed, and his goodness becomes known. The prognosis is good for his impact upon the world. It is propitious to see him.

what do you think, Rosada? Also I think that I should not attack others openly [only being defensive of my own values/morals when necessary] and not to shut others out [even the negative people] because if I will allow them to affect me negatively, there's no big difference between myself and them. I should rather radiate positive energy towards both ''negative'' and ''positive'' people because few years ago I was just like the most negative guys out there... how can I judge them? Of course this is also with holding my own boundaries.

 

[rosada]

The only thing I would add to your interpretation is that I think 13.2 is not only warning you that you could pick up negative habits but also 13.2 is saying you already share much in common with these people. You wouldn't all be there together if you all weren't somehow on the same wave length now, but in a negative way - like a group of people that has become too imbred. So with that thought in mind you might watch the others and see what that qualities you already have in common that you need to change.

 

[MrKind]

Thats exactly what I want to avoid, and just increase the positive sides and not allow negativity to influence my mind. I wouldn't agree that I have much in common with those people in my team, I haven't picked them up to be there [also the two most recent guys are more or less the same, but let's face it- I think more people still haven't figured out their lives and the connection between clean mind and a healthy body etc] I don't have any problems with negative thinking at my work [if its not something like constant negativity coming from my co-workers!] nor with things like depression etc etc... but definitely it feels to me like I am working on myself when still having those negatives in close proximity to me.

 

[MrKind]

Other ideas that popped into my mind: is that Hex 13 line 2 might be saying that ''after all, we are all the same so if other people are negative and I am then talking about them being negative- I am becoming just like them'' and also ''I should not try to look for an ally inside of that team, or limit myself to those people'' but rather to expand and try to connect with others outside of our specific team too, just so that there won't be only a small inclusive team where I feel good or dependent. This is a tough task though.

 

[MrKind]

Especially that if we compare the ways of living- one guy in the team is in my age [34yo] and still takes drugs, drinks a lot, parties a lot. Other one- eats unhealthily, drinks heavily, very bad habits [I don't want to describe them in here] - and I dont say that in a judgmental way, just as I things I notice. I am living very active lifestyle, cycling a lot, doing yoga regularly since 2011, I've quit drinking and other bad habits like that several years ago and my biggest obstacle now is to ensure I won't go back into overindulging in sweets And the main reason I feel so involved emotionally with them on some days is when they just bombard the environment with negativity that affects me even more because I am an empath. I am not perfect, but I wouldn't say I have much in common with them. And yet, I Ching doesn't advice looking for something else right now either so...

 

[equinox]

If you are an empath, as you say, then you should well understand that everybody has their own struggle (and the 'bad habits' that may derive from it) and therefore you shouldn't judge them as 'negative', 'toxic', 'unhealthy' etc. all the time. I think the Yi is encouraging you to be more generous with your colleages and their 'weaknesses'. And I personally I find that it is not even your business how they live.

 

[equinox]

I mean I think it is especially important for empathic people to be patient and accepting. Because otherwise you get frustrated. Normally you can't choose all the people around you, at least not in the work environment. So you have to accept their quirks anyways, other people at other workplaces have also quirks. You can't escape from this, maybe that's why the Yi doesn't encourage you to change. (at least not right now)

 

[rosada]

I read some where that "studies" show if you work within 25 feet of a jerk you will become a jerk too! Anyway, I do think it's healthy for us to be aware of the patterns of the people around us and recognizing someone is negative and toxic can actually be necessary to our own survival. But anyway, the thing about 13.2 is that while you may not share the more unpleasant characteristics of these co-workers the line does mean that there is something going on - some mutual blindspot? - that you need to become conscious of.
It may not be as obvious as their bad attitudes. Maybe you all just like donuts!
I have had this line indicate a shared family gene when I was asking about my husband's health.

 

[equinox]

I read some where that "studies" show if you work within 25 feet of a jerk you will become a jerk too! Anyway, I do think it's healthy for us to be aware of the patterns of the people around us and recognizing someone is negative and toxic can actually be necessary to our own survival.

That is true, I also do not say one should put up with everything.
But if almost everybody around seems to be 'toxic', then I think this phenomena has not only to do with the surrounding itself but possibly also with the own perception and attitude.

I see 13.2 here as an advice against dissociation.

 

[MrKind]

It is not about my intellectual understanding it or not. It is also not about judging them or not - but simply the fact that I am feeling the emotions of other people around me. So I am like a sponge held under water- whether I like it or not. This is why on most days I am fine and able to cope with it and their negativity - by transforming it into positive energy but on some days - like last week - it is simply too much. And I know this energy isn't mine, but I am not Mother Theresa either- I can't nor do I want - to take it all on my shoulders. And it happens automatically anyway. For example when someone is having an argument I not only sense the bad energy coming out of it, but also unhealthy vibes of those 2 individuals that they are feeling towards each other. And I work in an open office environment. It's not possible to distance myself from that. I literally live with those random people [8.5 hours every day , 5 times per week]. It is not my business how they live, apart from the fact that they openly share their ''way of living'' with me and others around, whether I like it or not. Their energy pours over me in every conversation whether its a topic about weather or politics. And when they come to work on Monday, all four of them hangovered - you can imagine how ''nice'' that feels [I am not drinking at all for a long time, as I said]. I am just giving out some examples...

 

[MrKind]

Equinox, I know what youre trying to say - however at my current workplace there are some good people too. Just not in my team. Somehow my team always gets the so, so individuals... unfortunately it's 90% nationality based so I can't just switch teams or spend time with people from other teams instead of mine. This is exactly why I asked I Ching about changing the workplace -because I am not like them, I don't want to be nor I enjoy listening and feeling their energies. I won't also be believing they can magically change into something they aren't. Of course, I too get the point that I can't run away from myself and the challenges I face in there will eventually caught up with me at some other place. But also how different would it be if I was surrounded by only positive people, right? Completely different!

 

[MrKind]

So it's like on most days I am able to radiate positivism and be above this, which is a nice change after 2 years of being there - a progress that I was able to make. Even on that day I spent 30 minutes openly talking with one of the guys exactly about importance of self development, healthy living, being positive etc. and then what happens? A dude from another team [negative gossiping person] comes in and that other guy from my team instantly * snaps * and starts talking negative stuff about the country and the people in it. Energy changes in a nanosecond. So what can I do? Not much really. Nor do I should work on them becoming positive, it's not going to happen. I can only concentrate on myself, my own boundaries and not allowing their BS to touch me. But on some days my fuse just blows up. I just feel too much. It's both a blessing and a curse.

 

[MrKind]

I also heard that one becomes like the 5 people one spends most of his time with. Sacré bleu!

 

[MrKind]

I also heard that one becomes like the 5 people one spends most of his time with. Sacré bleu!

 

[MrKind]

Thats also the biggest difference - normal healthy people come over to work, do their job professionally, dont complain, don't badmouth others, dont gossip, mostly talk about good positive stuff. Negative people are the exact opposite.

 

[MrKind]

Idk maybe I demand too much, maybe my expectations are too high due to myself sensing all of the energies, both positive and negative. But I believe [and had work with] people that were much higher on that energetic wavelength spectrum , more mature etc [and its not about the age!] and it was a completely different experience. I cant blame them, everyone has its own story. I can only provide a good example. I am still thinking about that common stuff we might have in that team, Rosada. I have no clue

 

[MrKind]

Ok I think I have found that thing shared by all of the people from that team : we are all damaged somehow. For example, one girl - living outside of her homeland due to bad relationship with her mother. She's the most toxic person I've meet in years. Other girl, the one that's no longer working there, but was in that team, supposedly abused sexually and alcoholic father, other girl also not working there any longer, alcoholic father, both parents died suddenly. First guy, don't know all of his story but said he has ADHD since being a kid, and start taking drugs when young plus huge debts from his father company , second dude said he's from very poor family, also emigrated.. One young girl, her father left and she was raised by her mum and random people.. And then myself, alcoholic father who committed suicide at the end, narcissistic mother, emigrated, heart disease. I'm definitely on the other end of the spectrum re processing all this trauma but.. That's it. But what does that make us.

 

[rosada]

Wowza. I like your concluding question "What does that make us?" Sounds like a good lead in to the resulting hexagram = 13.2 - 1. The Creative.

 

[MrKind]

Yea.. And the thing is that I obviously don't need a divination to know that I should rather aspire upwards towards healthy strong people who achieved more than me not less, or who are still far back in their struggles with life and themselves because any sort of codependence like that will only be beneficial to them and not myself at this point. I've already learned those lessons and the Oracle also confirmed (on several other occasions) that I shouldn't mix with people like that. For me it feels like a big ultimate test of mastering myself. (one who masters others is strong, but one that masters himself is stronger or something like that �&#56841

 

[rosada]

Yes, I think you are on to something with the mastering yourself idea. 4.2 is about the fool who is in control in his limited circle of influence - so you are safe and capable of doing your assigned duties but this line includes a warning about going beyond this - which could refer to getting involved with co-workers, trying to raise the energies when it's better you just look after you. Then 13.2 could be said to describe the toxic group and how you must be a part of this group but not be brought down by it. I think the mastering the self means you must be focused enough on what you are intending to focus on that you don't get pulled into this other vibration. You know how when you're driving and you see a car pulled over on the side of the road like there was an accident? You're tempted to slow down and look but you just have to remind yourself, "Nothing to see here folks, keep moving." Resist the temptation to give these people any thought at all!
btw, one's voice puts out a vibration that contributes to forming the web of our shared reality. By not saying anything when there is negative talk going on that low vibration web is less likely to ensnare you. Quietly chanting OM helps too.

Tbe bach flower remedy Clematis is for when you're picking up too many signals. Good for empaths.

 

[equinox]

I've already learned those lessons and the Oracle also confirmed (on several other occasions) that I shouldn't mix with people like that. For me it feels like a big ultimate test of mastering myself. (one who masters others is strong, but one that masters himself is stronger or something like that ��)

And this is imo the attitude the Yi is advising against with 13.2 here.
This somehow elitist, cliquish thinking of "us" and "people like that".

The superordinate topic of Hex 13 is "people in harmony" or "fellowship" -- and the Yi for sure is not encouraging a divisive mindset in order to reach that harmony.

And the thing is that I obviously don't need a divination to know that I should rather aspire upwards towards healthy strong people who achieved more than me not less

And what if those "healthy strong people who achieved more than you" think the same way?
They wouldn't have a reason to hang out with you then.

 

[Trojina]

Gotta say I believe equinox is spot on your attitude is so 13.2. so 'us and them....'

Ok I think I have found that thing shared by all of the people from that team : we are all damaged somehow. For example, one girl - living outside of her homeland due to bad relationship with her mother. She's the most toxic person I've meet in years. Other girl, the one that's no longer working there, but was in that team, supposedly abused sexually and alcoholic father, other girl also not working there any longer, alcoholic father, both parents died suddenly. First guy, don't know all of his story but said he has ADHD since being a kid, and start taking drugs when young plus huge debts from his father company , second dude said he's from very poor family, also emigrated.. One young girl, her father left and she was raised by her mum and random people.. And then myself, alcoholic father who committed suicide at the end, narcissistic mother, emigrated, heart disease. I'm definitely on the other end of the spectrum re processing all this trauma but.. That's it. But what does that make us.

It makes you people, that's all. And I'm very sorry to hear of about your father by the way.


Going back to the question

I asked "What do I need to realize in this current position?" and got Hex 13.2>1

That you need to stop compartmentalizing people into categories such as 'toxic' or 'damaged' versus 'positive'. These words are merely subjective labels which don't really mean very much at all and carry a heavy dose of New Age Puritanism which goes along the lines of

'I am pure and positive and cannot mix with those who are toxic and damaged (or even ill) because I am so sensitive and they will infect my purity'

Doesn't that whole mind set reek of 13.2 ?


For sure there will be people we don't want to be around because they are nasty or simply because we don't especially like them but does that make them 'toxic' ? Saying they are 'toxic' or 'damaged' converts people into objects, labelled objects defined purely by your own perception.


I mention this kind of thinking in connection to the new age because there has been some dreadfully 'toxic' stuff put out by people who think they can control their environment by removing themselves from 'negativity' basically through denial of other's suffering.


You have compared yourself to the people at work and say you are on the 'other end of the spectrum' and earlier compared your health regime and life style to theirs almost as if that made you a more evolved person. But it's not that simple at all.


If you want to leave your job because you aren't happy there then isn't it better to own that than to focus so intently on your work mates private lives/habits/family situations ?


Re this

So it's like on most days I am able to radiate positivism and be above this,

I wonder if they think you 'radiate positivism' ?

which is a nice change after 2 years of being there - a progress that I was able to make. Even on that day I spent 30 minutes openly talking with one of the guys exactly about importance of self development, healthy living, being positive etc. and then what happens? A dude from another team [negative gossiping person] comes in and that other guy from my team instantly * snaps * and starts talking negative stuff about the country and the people in it.

You want to stop people talking about the state of the country in the way they want to ? Are you on the road positivity fascism ? Positivity fascism is a state of denial where people try to insulate themselves against the world and the unexpected by denying anything that doesn't fit with their positivity agenda. I think it arises out of fear but has the effect of denying the reality of suffering, pain, problems of others as merely things that will 'infect' their own alleged 'purity' and evolution. It can result in unwitting cruelty to others since you see other people almost as pollutants to your own so refined energy field.

Energy changes in a nanosecond. So what can I do? Not much really. Nor do I should work on them becoming positive, it's not going to happen. I can only concentrate on myself, my own boundaries and not allowing their BS to touch me. But on some days my fuse just blows up. I just feel too much. It's both a blessing and a curse.

But you aren't being positive about them. Also bear in mind you won't know everything about them and how they are in the rest of their lives. Physical purity/diet/yoga/cycling doesn't make saints just people who are into those things. For all you know they might be supporting others in all sorts of loving ways and you don't know about it.


Don't get me wrong I think if you find these people abhorrent then I agree it won't make your work life a happy place and it's draining and miserable working with people you just don't connect with, I get that. But I think 13.2 is suggesting you don't hold yourself so far apart from them, in your head at least. I don't feel labelling them as 'toxic' or 'damaged' helps with that.


So IMO right now in this thread you are heading in the exact opposite direction of where 13.2 is directing you.


13.2 isn't asking you to label these people, isn't asking you to put them into categories like 'toxic' and 'damaged'. People are not objects and so can never really be seen as 'damaged goods' since their spirits are untouchable, their souls endure, they can always change and revive themselves but calling them 'damaged' makes it sound like somehow they are irreversibly ruined and that's not true.


So I think it would help to recognize you don't like them and don't much want to be around them. That's honest and you are at least owning your own feelings which are valid.

MrKind
Yea.. And the thing is that I obviously don't need a divination to know that I should rather aspire upwards towards healthy strong people who achieved more than me not less, or who are still far back in their struggles with life and themselves because any sort of codependence like that will only be beneficial to them and not myself at this point. I've already learned those lessons and the Oracle also confirmed (on several other occasions) that I shouldn't mix with people like that. For me it feels like a big ultimate test of mastering myself. (one who masters others is strong, but one that masters himself is stronger or something like that ��)

You can see why I mentioned 'positivity fascism ' ? You only want to mix with 'strong healthy people' ? This statement is kind of repugnant to me in that it is quite reminiscent of Nazi Germany..only the fittest, only the strong Of course new age philosophies are riddled with this kind of thing...'oooh keep away from negative people...keep away from sick people....maintain your purity' that's an underlying theme in some of that stuff and unfortunately you have really bought into it.


I'm afraid I think you are up to your neck in 13.2 type thinking and I predict you won't hear a word of what I say.

 

[MrKind]

I never heard about the clematis or the Bach system , will check it out - thanks''By not saying anything when there is negative talk going on that low vibration web is less likely to ensnare you'' - you see, trying to ignore it all and not say anything was exactly what made this team almost unbearable a half year ago when there were other toxic people in there [now not working in it]... especially as it mostly comes from that one toxic girl who is still there all that time. Other two people [and now a 3rd one very soon] who joined afterwards are manageable as they are males and I have some sort of connection with them. But I thing not reacting or saying anything when she will / is trying to pull down others into her web of control & negativity might be a mistake.

 

[MrKind]

This is why I am not going for lunch breaks alone, but always with the new guys [one young girl who is still under some influence of the other big toxic one is usually refusing to go with us, but also others don't know how the situation was in the team before they came in - unless the girls already told them some sort of a story- I don't care, though]If the healthy strong people would think like that they wouldn't be healthy and strong why they would not want to hang out with me? I didn't necessarily meant achieved more than me in a materialistic sense, but overall positivity and not wasting their energy on something like negative gossip. It's one thing to talk with everyone and be nice and kind but another to invite someone to your home or go for after work drinks with them. Nobody is forcing anyone to do that and one always chooses his own companions [hopefully wisely] I mean, it's not like I should invite those negative people to my home and play 'hey let's become friends' because it wont work, and no, there's no benefit in trying to believe there's anything good to gain from bad company. I've did this plenty of times in the past and learned enough lessons. Strong boundaries are a must nowadays. Plus with that empathetic gift/curse I have, I already know what sort of energies I would be getting from them. Thank you, but no.

 

[MrKind]

For sure there will be people we don't want to be around because they are nasty or simply because we don't especially like them but does that make them 'toxic' ? Saying they are 'toxic' or 'damaged' converts people into objects, labelled objects defined purely by your own perception.

It's also faster to write 'toxic' than ''the utmost need to engage in negative self-talk, bad gossip, cursing, negativity'' and stuff like that on a daily basis for 2 years

I mention this kind of thinking in connection to the new age because there has been some dreadfully 'toxic' stuff put out by people who think they can control their environment by removing themselves from 'negativity' basically through denial of other's suffering.

I don't deny their suffering. I am very well aware of it. But as I said, it is not my job to fix them nor to pretend it is healthy to behave like this. Just because it affects not only them, but others around - whether they feel it or not.

You have compared yourself to the people at work and say you are on the 'other end of the spectrum' and earlier compared your health regime and life style to theirs almost as if that made you a more evolved person. But it's not that simple at all.

It depends how you look at it. I don't judge them, I was in a similar place (more or less) in a distant past so I understand this (I never though openly said things about others like some of them do, like in front of others). But I can certainly see my own point in life, and I can see theirs. It's just an observation.

If you want to leave your job because you aren't happy there then isn't it better to own that than to focus so intently on your work mates private lives/habits/family situations ?

Again, if it was only that simple... in this case even I Ching advises against it. And then again, I am not concentrating on it. I don't share my private life with anyone in there! It's rather them pouring that out without invitation. (oh gee and now you will say that I used this ''me'' vs ''them'' thing again )

I wonder if they think you 'radiate positivism' ?

Believe it or not but on that last Friday that guy said it to me himself: that he thinks that I am well above his own level in terms or figuring things out... And yes, people generally can say when someone is grounded, or radiate honest positive energy coming directly from one's heart. They don't need to feel it directly like I do, but basically everyone senses it on different levels. I am not saying that I am like a sun every day - but those days happen. On other days I am stable, grounded, happy. I need yet to see a constant of a few days like that from other members in that team. Also, others with clean energy don't have any problems with recognizing my own pure energy - and it is easy to feel if youre aligned with yourself. And one of the most beautiful feelings you can feel, when someone is speaking directly from their own heart and I can literally FEEL a beam of energy pulsating from their hearts.

You want to stop people talking about the state of the country in the way they want to ? Are you on the road positivity fascism ? Positivity fascism is a state of denial where people try to insulate themselves against the world and the unexpected by denying anything that doesn't fit with their positivity agenda. I think it arises out of fear but has the effect of denying the reality of suffering, pain, problems of others as merely things that will 'infect' their own alleged 'purity' and evolution. It can result in unwitting cruelty to others since you see other people almost as pollutants to your own so refined energy field.

of course not. I would be in the first line of people fighting for the freedom of speech. But in here, the medium is the message. It's not about the topics they were discussing. It's about the energy and emotions in it. Negative. Blaming. Cursing. Bad emotions. Bad energy. Useless, pointless. Habitual vicious loop that produces bad vibes I don't want to be around. Simple. When you don't like something you either go and change it or accept it, right? Being negative for the sake of being negative serves no purpose.

But you aren't being positive about them. Also bear in mind you won't know everything about them and how they are in the rest of their lives. Physical purity/diet/yoga/cycling doesn't make saints just people who are into those things. For all you know they might be supporting others in all sorts of loving ways and you don't know about it.

Look, I get what youre trying to say here. I am doing my best to see the positive sides in all of them. But that serves mostly me, not them. It's hard to be positive about someone you know was gossiping about you, backstabbing you, lying to you on a daily basis, trying to get a promotion over you in a dirty way, talks negative about your friends and yourself, other colleagues and pretends to be positive. Because thats what one girl there does, for example. It would be stupid to try and make myself friends with such people. I feel too much to pretend I don't know this.

13.2 isn't asking you to label these people, isn't asking you to put them into categories like 'toxic' and 'damaged'. People are not objects and so can never really be seen as 'damaged goods' since their spirits are untouchable, their souls endure, they can always change and revive themselves but calling them 'damaged' makes it sound like somehow they are irreversibly ruined and that's not true.

you see with my empathy it is like I download the whole energetic spectrum of the person the second I meet them. I literally know where they are at life, what emotions they felt in recent years were dominant, where they are heading. It's really hard to call something you feel is black - white. But I get your point. I am doing my best to not judgmental. This somewhat works. But I have no idea how to shield myself from their energies. It's not possible as I tried a lot of things... the only thing that somehow worked is to transform the energy there [not by trying to convince the wolf he is a sheep ] I won't be saying about the methods, but it's draining too. So this is why I was looking for different ways out from this situation through getting another work. I don't want this to sound like an argument - as English is not my 1st language - I appreciate all of your input. Btw, I don't mean they can't fix themselves. But that's not my job to fix them.

So I think it would help to recognize you don't like them and don't much want to be around them. That's honest and you are at least owning your own feelings which are valid.

Yes ofc I dont like them very much, I recognize that one is intelligent, the other one has nice sense of humor and all that but I wont be calling them for a tea after work either.

You can see why I mentioned 'positivity fascism ' ? You only want to mix with 'strong healthy people' ? This statement is kind of repugnant to me in that it is quite reminiscent of Nazi Germany..only the fittest, only the strong Of course new age philosophies are riddled with this kind of thing...'oooh keep away from negative people...keep away from sick people....maintain your purity' that's an underlying theme in some of that stuff and unfortunately you have really bought into it.

I have no idea you keep mentioning New Age, you have some sort of a grudge on it? Must be because I haven't mentioned it even once and I don't see a connection. I just don't fancy being forced to spend 8.5 hours every day with negative people who would stab me in the back with mere occasion presenting itself. That's not new age, that's just common sense. That's all. I guess if I wrote ''people who are mature enough to be honest'' wouldn't be better either? I spent plenty of years in my life meeting with people who turned out to be just like the people I describe [in this or other ways] and it NEVER turned out well for me. Since I started trusting my intuition I haven't made any mistake and live a drama-free life - except this weird team I haven't chosen in my current work place.

 

[MrKind]

Sorry for the typos. Last thing, Trojina let me give you an example how a typical conversation goes. We go out for lunch /two guys and me/ and one starts some negative talk how he is having a bad day (another one �&#56841, okay so I try to change the topic and start talking about how I want to install a new floor in my flat and how I'm looking for a decent materials etc etc then the other one starts saying how the people in this country just want to use you, how all Carpenters are full of sh* and what not. Okay so I change the topic again and talk about the fact I'm looking for a new flat and then he again breaks in saying how I should do something to make sure I can fuc* over my landlords to have some leverage against them because they will probably try to defraud me and how he has this approach that in situations like this he always makes sure he will cheat the other person not the other way around... And this goes on day after day can u see how it can get draining for someone like me who feels it all 300% more than a "normal" person?