Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom
Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).
Hi @Juniperist ,
Sorry to hear you're going through such heart-ache, it's a horrible feeling.
What should I do with X now?
32.4.6 > 18
32.4 is clear, there's no 'game' between you anymore. 32.6 shows someone who is constantly stressed and on edge, which brings misfortune. Resulting 18 is something rotten - it's also 'madness', and being unhealthily obsessed. Since you still love him, there's no way you can be friends at this stage. You would keep hoping for something which just isn't there, your heart-ache would be prolonged.
Shall I try to be friends with X?
59.5. > 4
In short, no. Every time I got this combination, I was dealing with people who were bullshitting me. I had a look here on the forum too, and there definitely seems to be an unfortunate vibe about this cast. For example, someone was asking what is the future of my relationship with my girlfriend (they broke up and she married someone else). Someone else was asking show me the way to progress our relationship (the querent ended it shortly after because the man didn't want a real relationship with her). And a third one was asking about his strategy of keeping distance from his love interest (sadly it also went nowhere).
I personally wouldn't want someone with uncaring and inconsistent behaviour as a friend, but you're you. How about you first wait till you don't fancy him at all anymore, and only then be friends? That would be fair on both of you, and you would then be able to be real friends (friends means friends, without any fancying going on).
I have hard time understanding 59.5. to 4. I see how it has been unfortunate for others, but I cant see that when I try to read the line (I find the various versions confusing).
What should I do with X now?
Answer: 32.4.6. to 18
I seem to come here every few years for a relationship question, I guess, because these questions seem to be so emotionally charged and I need others to pitch in and help me. My question was about a lover who after breaking up with me wants to remain friends (so mundane, right?). I am not sure if I can, or if I should, as I still have feelings for him and I feel heart-broken, even though I would like him as a friend as well, but I don't know whether this because I feel so sad about not having him in my life. I provided the whole story below for background, because this was not a relationship among equals (ie. I was invested more in it).
Question: What should I do with X now?
Answer: 32.4.6. to 18
Hmm bit of a time waster then.So the background story: This person and I have been in a not so clear-type of relationship during the pandemic. We started dating around 2 months before the pandemic, but when the pandemic happened he chose to stay in the country where his kids are (I am in the country where he is working) and worked online, which meant that we could see each other every 6 months or so (he could still travel to my country, I could not to his). During this whole time, we talked, zoomed etc. regularly., but basically he has overall been unclear about what he wanted (saying that he wants a committed relationship but that he had commitment issues etc., not wanting to be exclusive) which - I know - told me to run away - but since we were stuck in a pandemic and both having a hard time, I thought 1) that I should just remain open and see what happens in these trying times; 2) that uncertainty/non-clarity/commitment-issues were maybe exacerbated by the rather unclear circumstances we were in. We were for sure providing support for each other this whole time. We do also have great rapport, good sexual chemistry, we find each other interesting and intellectually stimulating, we respect each other and overall actually get along pretty well. He was also actually very much into me when we first met. And when he visited and stayed with me it was really good. I did really like him and wanted more in terms of a relationship. Well, I actually come to love him, strongly. He did, however, definitely acted rather inconsistently, and did not put much effort into it.
Oh well he can't insist on you being friends.So what happened was when he visited me again in mid-march, he decided before he left that he couldn’t pursue this (for multiple reasons). We parted ways in an amicable manner even though I was extremely heart-broken and I stopped talking to him in order to heal a bit, especially since he acted rather haphazardly after our breakup (not going to get into detail, but rather bizarre and uncaring). We reconnected in late August, have been talking regularly, and even though I wished that maybe he would reconsider his decision, there was no sign of that. He did contact me before he came to visit (in November) and told me he was now in a committed relationship with someone and insists that we should be friends.
Generally 59.5 describes times of crisis, where all usual laws and landmarks have vanished. The king opens his granaries for all to use. It's generally advice to give all you've got, to not hold anything in reserve in a time of loss. It reminds me of pandemic times when the uk government started handing out money all over the place to the extent one would think we had a socialist government. But it was a crisis, the stores are therefore emptied to sustain the people.Thinking I maybe did not specify my question enough, I also asked: Shall I try to be friends with X?
Answer: 59.5. to 4
Once I received this cast for a work I didn't find satisfactory but didn't leave either, fearing that I couldn't do any better (the thread exists in this forum). I stayed however for two more years, just to realize later how much of my precious time I wasted while I could do much better.
As for 59.5>4, I read it as being loud & clear about how you fill & what you want (great proclamation) regardless of consequences (4). If you are suffering don't play the role of that happy-go-lucky friend.
Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom
Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).