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35.2.6 to 40 - State of a Union

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To me, 35 meant that if I stop focusing on this (ie making first contact, focusing on this as a goal) the more likely I am to actually receive what I actually need. My world will progress. Whether or not he's a part of that, who knows. Lovestruck or not, he's not making a move. (Yet? or Ever? That's not up to me. It's out of my hands.)

Could that work?

Also the Beautifying read could also refer to my self-esteem, couldn't it? I'm not HORRID there, but I'm not completely confident. I could work on assertiveness.
 

Trojina

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Interesting take on 35uc....BTW you inspired me to post that idea of self esteem for 35uc on the 35uc thread

BTW you mentioned notoriety and 35uc is all about being noticed and admired and so on.

Self esteem is helpful if at any time you are tempted to take less than what you really want in terms of a partner etc

Also BTW if you get famous can I claim that I have been an "I Ching advisor to the Stars" :mischief:

I once had a Tarot reader , locally, who claimed she was a Tarot reader 'for the Stars'. I don't think she was....I mean I couldn't envision Stars and Celebrities arriving at her terraced house in the back streets round here, but you never know...
 
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So last night I got up the guts to at least talk about my feelings, and I got the answer I was expecting. My having feelings is okay, but expectations are not - there's no risk of this becoming a serious relationship, in other words. The interaction beyond that was pretty much the same. He cares, he's happy I'm in his life, but nothing serious and, as he put it, "I'd be an awful candidate for a rebound."

So that's that as far as expectations are concerned, but we'll continue to see each other, I'm sure.

I threw just for a now what regarding the environment and best practices, that sort of thing. I got this:

Hexagram 19 - Unchanging

Flourishing? Uh... I'm assuming this is referring to perhaps without the expectations in the back of my head the friendship can sorta flourish without me being as "restrained" as I've been? I mean, I quite honestly act pretty pinned up, afraid of letting loose in certain ways.

Or, this could mean that I now will have other options flourish. Springtime. That kind of thing. (There do seem to be other interested/interesting parties.)

Other threads are not really giving me much insight -- seems that the hex sorta goes either way...
 
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Oh, and RE the 8th month, he did indicate that he is likely going to move back to his hometown at the end of the year.
 
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Also, as threads suggested asking a follow up question for me, I asked about the results for me -- in what condition am I likely to end up, especially with this 8th month thing... (To be clear, I was not asking about what is in store for us -- no expectations -- but rather how *I* will fair personally, emotionally as I'm moving along with this new frame of mind.)

I got 14.1.2 to 56

Well, someone's moving... dunno why it's giving me this answer when I'm asking about me, though...

Gonna do some laundry and ruminate.
 
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Hrm, was hoping for a take on this... especially for 14.1.2 to 56, which is still sorta flummoxing me.
 

Trojina

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Hrm, was hoping for a take on this... especially for 14.1.2 to 56, which is still sorta flummoxing me.

Oh, you just said you were going to do laundry. Is that code for 'give me a take on this' :mischief:



So last night I got up the guts to at least talk about my feelings, and I got the answer I was expecting. My having feelings is okay, but expectations are not - there's no risk of this becoming a serious relationship, in other words. The interaction beyond that was pretty much the same. He cares, he's happy I'm in his life, but nothing serious and, as he put it, "I'd be an awful candidate for a rebound."

So that's that as far as expectations are concerned, but we'll continue to see each other, I'm sure.

Can't see why you'd want to continue with him with this level of dishonesty operating. Worst of all it is posturing as honesty ! He's been sleeping with you, knows how you feel, but you aren't meant to expect anything....? Why would you ever settle for that ? As for having no expectations, well you can tell yourself you have no expectations but of course you will have them and do have them just as anyone would.


I threw just for a now what regarding the environment and best practices, that sort of thing. I got this:

Hexagram 19 - Unchanging

Flourishing? Uh... I'm assuming this is referring to perhaps without the expectations in the back of my head the friendship can sorta flourish without me being as "restrained" as I've been? I mean, I quite honestly act pretty pinned up, afraid of letting loose in certain ways.

Or, this could mean that I now will have other options flourish. Springtime. That kind of thing. (There do seem to be other interested/interesting parties.)


Well no, the 'no expectations' idea re him is just silly when applied to a young woman who is at least half in love with a man who sleeps with her but expects her to remain at a distance :rolleyes: . I do not believe for one moment you can achieve 'no expectations' without being a Vulcan or something. Besides that no 19 doesn't say anything about having no expectations quite the reverse. 19 signifies spring time, time to look ahead and work for the future. No one can do that without expectations. 19uc can also mean that energy approaches, care , concern....see the 19uc thread.

Not sure about what the question was really getting at but I'd say it was time to look ahead and plan what you want to grow. You have to work without necessarily seeing results yet.

Also, as threads suggested asking a follow up question for me, I asked about the results for me -- in what condition am I likely to end up, especially with this 8th month thing... (To be clear, I was not asking about what is in store for us -- no expectations -- but rather how *I* will fair personally, emotionally as I'm moving along with this new frame of mind.)

I got 14.1.2 to 56

Well, someone's moving... dunno why it's giving me this answer when I'm asking about me, though...

Um I think you mean how you will get along with him given that you now know you are meant to have no expectations ? But I'm not sure what you mean really ? In what condition are you likely to end up ?

Anyway 56 doesn't have to mean someone is moving, it is more like being in a transient situation you are not particularly at home in but which you use to the best advantage given the lines in 14. You had 19 before which is also about making best use of things and the change pattern here is 19 also. 14.2 looks like you are ready to be headed somewhere, to utilize opportunities and so on.

(But if the question is more about him I can't really say. I can't say because you can't admit to expectations whilst having expectations so the questions aren't clear and so it's not clear what the answers refer to either.)

Anyway 14.1.2>56 in general looks like a picture of maximising every opportunity to enrich your life whilst being in a somewhat unknown or temporary situation. 14.2 looks like you are ready to move on to the next thing. You say there are other interested parties ? well it looks a good time to see where they take you ?


I'd hazard a guess from these readings that someone else is on the horizon who helps you go where you need to get to. The 19 and the 14.1.2 make me think this is about someone who furthers you. That is they advance you, further your interests, cause you to prosper and flourish. Does he or did he do do that ? If not then that is the new influence entering, an influence, maybe even a temporary one (56) that actually brings growth to all areas of your life, not just romantic. A connection that takes you somewhere maybe
 
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I apologize in advance for not understanding the quote thing...

Can't see why you'd want to continue with him with this level of dishonesty operating. Worst of all it is posturing as honesty ! He's been sleeping with you, knows how you feel, but you aren't meant to expect anything....? Why would you ever settle for that ? As for having no expectations, well you can tell yourself you have no expectations but of course you will have them and do have them just as anyone would.

I continue because, despite the impossibility of realizing any "long term goal" i.e. life partner, I am still getting something I need. He actually is being pretty theraputic. One thing though... what do you mean by level of dishonesty posturing as honesty?

Well no, the 'no expectations' idea re him is just silly when applied to a young woman who is at least half in love with a man who sleeps with her but expects her to remain at a distance . I do not believe for one moment you can achieve 'no expectations' without being a Vulcan or something. Besides that no 19 doesn't say anything about having no expectations quite the reverse. 19 signifies spring time, time to look ahead and work for the future. No one can do that without expectations. 19uc can also mean that energy approaches, care , concern....see the 19uc thread.

Not sure about what the question was really getting at but I'd say it was time to look ahead and plan what you want to grow. You have to work without necessarily seeing results yet.


The question was definitely asking about my relationship with this man, best practices for me and the trending of the environment between the two of us (especially considering I don't want to cut him out of my life despite plans to date others, perhaps people who *will* be good candidates for a rebound - actually his saying he's bad for a rebound gave me insight into what he thinks I'm looking for, even if I didn't say this) and was definitely not about the larger picture.

I was also confused by the hex as it really does speak of expectations and moving forward. But perhaps this is referring to only a flourishing friendship or closeness now that the cat is out of the bag or something. It *does* seem really strange that just after being told by the man not to expect something, the IC is telling me to expect something.

Um I think you mean how you will get along with him given that you now know you are meant to have no expectations ? But I'm not sure what you mean really ? In what condition are you likely to end up ?

I think what will be a likely unfolding now that I'm continuing with the knowledge that there can be no expectations. (I will never be able to completely squash expectations, maybe just knowing that there will be no SATISFACTION of expectations is what he really meant.)

Anyway 56 doesn't have to mean someone is moving, it is more like being in a transient situation you are not particularly at home in but which you use to the best advantage given the lines in 14. You had 19 before which is also about making best use of things and the change pattern here is 19 also. 14.2 looks like you are ready to be headed somewhere, to utilize opportunities and so on.

(But if the question is more about him I can't really say. I can't say because you can't admit to expectations whilst having expectations so the questions aren't clear and so it's not clear what the answers refer to either.)

Anyway 14.1.2>56 in general looks like a picture of maximising every opportunity to enrich your life whilst being in a somewhat unknown or temporary situation. 14.2 looks like you are ready to move on to the next thing. You say there are other interested parties ? well it looks a good time to see where they take you ?


There are definitely professional and personal advantages to continuing this relationship. Yes, I don't feel totally comfortable, but your read on this makes sense. I also do intend to pursue the other interested parties. What I know will change is my hiding my feelings as he says I don't have to.


I'd hazard a guess from these readings that someone else is on the horizon who helps you go where you need to get to. The 19 and the 14.1.2 make me think this is about someone who furthers you. That is they advance you, further your interests, cause you to prosper and flourish. Does he or did he do do that ? If not then that is the new influence entering, an influence, maybe even a temporary one (56) that actually brings growth to all areas of your life, not just romantic. A connection that takes you somewhere maybe


Well... that's the thing. This man does all of that and can do all of that. He just clearly doesn't see me as a life partner. But, maybe there is a dark horse that I don't know about yet. The other interested party is younger than me, less established, so I'm not sure that this reading refers to him. Both readings were very much about the first guy.

Thank you again for your help!

I'd hazard a guess from these readings that someone else is on the horizon who helps you go where you need to get to. The 19 and the 14.1.2 make me think this is about someone who furthers you. That is they advance you, further your interests, cause you to prosper and flourish. Does he or did he do do that ? If not then that is the new influence entering, an influence, maybe even a temporary one (56) that actually brings growth to all areas of your life, not just romantic. A connection that takes you somewhere maybe
 
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Please get your self out of this situation now. all you're are doing is expending energy on hurting yourself - why? How do I know this? Because i did this more than once, maybe even more than twice after the split with my husband. What I realised is that it had a lot to do with my own level of self esteem which had always been so low, not just because of the rejection of my exxhusband.

Use the energy you're expending on this rubbish of a relationship, if you can call it that, to work on your own inner beauty, self esteem and what ever needs sorting out so you can have a beautiful, wonderful relationship with someone who is deserving of you. - Liss
 

Trojina

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I apologize in advance for not understanding the quote thing...

To put words in a quote you highlight the text you want quoted then click on that speech bubble in the 2nd row down, 2nd from left in the icon/tool bar you should have in the reply box.

I continue because, despite the impossibility of realizing any "long term goal" i.e. life partner, I am still getting something I need. He actually is being pretty theraputic. One thing though... what do you mean by level of dishonesty posturing as honesty?

Well I wasn't meaning he need wish to be a life partner, but IMO if he knows you have feelings for him then it is more honest for him either to make some kind of commitment or leave you alone. By commitment I just mean like be your boyfriend. If he can't even give you that then his apparent ruefulness over being a bad rebound etc seems dishonest to me in terms of knowingly messing with your expectations/feelings. However if it's fine by you then it's fine.



The question was definitely asking about my relationship with this man, best practices for me and the trending of the environment between the two of us (especially considering I don't want to cut him out of my life despite plans to date others, perhaps people who *will* be good candidates for a rebound - actually his saying he's bad for a rebound gave me insight into what he thinks I'm looking for, even if I didn't say this) and was definitely not about the larger picture
.

"Trending of the environment' ? 'Best practices' ? Sounds more like a Health and Safety document LOL All I see is he has got you in a very old fashioned position where you dare not break up and are grateful for what you can get from him and he can do what he wants. However if you think it's fine .....



I was also confused by the hex as it really does speak of expectations and moving forward. But perhaps this is referring to only a flourishing friendship or closeness now that the cat is out of the bag or something. It *does* seem really strange that just after being told by the man not to expect something, the IC is telling me to expect something.

No it's not strange since 19uc is a very ethereal answer, it is often quite a spiritual answer and may be referring to general situation. Unchanging hexagrams can ask questions...like here 'what can grow ?'
 
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Don't worry, I'm definitely progressing on the lookout for something or someone much "simpler." I understand that it sounds terrible, but it's really not.
 
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Hrm... maybe it would help to picture me as writing these posts while drinking some tea and eating a fine fancy appetizer, quite relaxed. The readings I post here are the ones I'm getting when I'm at my most calm.

To be blunt, I don't want to "break up" because, uh, the sex is tremendous and the conversation tickles parts of my brain that I thought weren't even there. The only pain is in the wondering whether or not, to quote Close Encounters, this means something. Now that I know that in the long run it doesn't mean anything more than it is, I am kind of relieved. And I know better than to chase the rabbit and ask him a bunch of questions about "why is there no romantic future" and other things that could give me something to "fight for" or whatever. THAT would be a trap, no?

Still, I'm here because the credits don't feel like they're rolling on this. It doesn't feel over, not even close. I think I did more readings because I wanted clarity on that. Odd how sometimes you don't know why you ask questions until a few days after you ask them.
 

Trojina

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I hadn't thought of if you were calm or not had anything to do with the answers :confused:

Anyway if the 14.1.2>56 were particularly about him then yes he'd look like a beneficial stepping stone to you on your way somewhere as I said here


(But if the question is more about him I can't really say. I can't say because you can't admit to expectations whilst having expectations so the questions aren't clear and so it's not clear what the answers refer to either.)

Anyway 14.1.2>56 in general looks like a picture of maximising every opportunity to enrich your life whilst being in a somewhat unknown or temporary situation. 14.2 looks like you are ready to move on to the next thing. You say there are other interested parties ? well it looks a good time to see where they take you ?


I'd hazard a guess from these readings that someone else is on the horizon who helps you go where you need to get to. The 19 and the 14.1.2 make me think this is about someone who furthers you. That is they advance you, further your interests, cause you to prosper and flourish. Does he or did he do do that ? If not then that is the new influence entering, an influence, maybe even a temporary one (56) that actually brings growth to all areas of your life, not just romantic. A connection that takes you somewhere maybe

So that was about him. But to me all that promotional stuff is a whole other thing than your personal feelings about him and I can't see that they mix...infact it kind of sounds like a modern version of the old 'casting couch' scenario where actresses would only get ahead by screwing the directors etc etc. That's not you of course because you like him but overall ....well I know it happens, but I can't see what it has to do with feelings.

No need to explain your POV as everyone feels differently about these things and your answer seems to show he helps you get ahead. If you think you can put your feelings in a box and harbour no expectations you are kidding yourself though. The trouble I'd see is you would harbour expectations and get hurt somewhere down the line no matter how cool and relaxed you feel you are. That's not Yi, that's me though. Yi is saying in 14.1.2>56 this is like a stepping stone, and the 56 shows the connection is like that.....but hang on a moment...


.....what about the 14.1 ? I overlooked that. This line I think advises yes do what you do as long as it causes no harm of any kind. hex 14 has it all, wealth in all kinds of things, but having wealth is not enough by itself it has to be used and given, without harm. So maybe there is space in the answer for my own feeling about this. It suggests you consider the potential of harm, presumably to yourself, as you go ahead with him.

Probably what Liss saw is what I see....that you can kid yourself this is all okay and it's all nicely intellectualised and 'cool' and think you are seeing him with no expectations but that's....well, bull ****, if you have feelings for him.

I'll quote Hilary's commentary on 14.1

"You are involved in an ongoing act of creation, selecting the ingredients of Great Possession. Whatever you introduce now, you will possess in great measure later on. So pay careful attention to the contents of your thoughts and your relationships with others; don't engage or connect in any way with anything that would do harm".

Anyway you must do as you see fit. I'm not here to convince you of anything....:D I'm sure you can work it all out for yourself
 
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Thank you so much Trojina. I think I mention the calmness not to suggest that the situation doesn't give me pause, but that I'm not in a distressed state constantly as a result of this -- I know that can happen, I just don't want people to think that's happening here. I do however sense that while I'm fine with the answers now, I may not be later. :)

But, as I said, there is this interesting other bloke on the horizon who is in hot pursuit, and when I ask pre-first date "What is the romantic potential for this new person" I get: 57.2.3.5 to 23

Sigh, another hex that usually makes little sense to me, and not many similar readings to go on either. The penetration/submission makes my inner twelve year old giggle but let's see here...

57.2 reminds me of that Annie Lennox song "No More I Love Yous" - especially the demons in the room at night... but it also seems to suggest I'm hanging out looking for readings too much.

57.3 trying to hard - also odd read to get for a question of potential? If he's the pursuer, how am I trying too hard, and how is it this apparently dire... seems like a big warning.

57.5 keep going and you can make good on a poor beginning?

This is seeming like more trouble than it's worth already. Hex 23 is also a big bummer. I will not put much stock in this one I think.
 

Trojina

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If I were about to go on a date I wouldn't even ask Yi I don't think...it's too early, just enjoy the date.

I mean you don't want to pigeon hole it before it even gets off the ground do you ?

57 can show too much penetration. (no innuendo implied :rofl:) I means there's thinking and then there's re thinking and then there's total over thinking which is 57.3. 57.2 is a bit of a piss take about someone using all manner of divination, but overall it's a line I quite like. 57.5 I think shows longer term success than you can be aware of. As for the 23 as relating hexagram it may be showing where you are coming from, a kind of stripping through loss...or what feels like loss with the other guy.

Oh you said what I said already

but it also seems to suggest I'm hanging out looking for readings too much.

yes. This isn't a bad reading....and in 57 also someone can grow on your gradually, like they become part of you without you knowing

Change patterns here...and I always like to use change patterns especially with multiple lines since it gives a flavour of the cast, here it's 48 yang pattern and 21 yin. It looks like the way through this is some decisiveness about what you want maybe.


(Do you keep a diary ? Even a bad date is great for a diary entry that will amuse you for years to come. )
 

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