35.2.6 to 40 - State of a Union

[Trojina]

In my opinion the conditions of her prior relationship were psychosomatically negative.

Yes in my opinion too. But I wasn't going by my opinion but by what I thought the I Ching was saying. The I Ching didn't say in the casting 'he is lovestruck' IMO and it never said 'go and leave now'.

Happily if stranger is glad she left anyway nothing is lost.

I will go write a blog post on this issue of telling people what other people feel and get it out my system.

Please continue I've no wish to disrupt the thread :bows:

 

[Trojina]

stranger and Tom may I have permission to link to this thread in my blog on CC or not ?

I want to make a general point....this thread would be an illustration. I won't link if you don't want

 

[strangeronatrain]

I was hoping you'd say you went on a Hitchcock binge, but since Sinatra and I are paisan both by heritage and state of origin... I'll take it.

 

[strangeronatrain]

Okay - here's what I'm going to do... I want to provide a little more information, but I'm starting to get concerned about anonymity. Would it be okay with trojan and poccasin for me to explain the situation more specifically in a pm? I think it would help get to the bottom of all of this. (I've got friends on this board and I wouldn't be surprised if they stumble upon this and put two and two together.)

 

[strangeronatrain]

PS, I think that both of your readings have elements of accuracy. I don't necessarily think they are mutually exclusive.

 

[pocossin]

What if he isn't lovestruck ?

OK, just this once I will explain. You know that I think visually rather than verbally as you do. I have given up trying to explain and instead make a verbal statement that you think sparse, and stop. We are supposed to be seers, right? The casting was 35.2.6 > 40:


☲ ☳
☷ ☵


If you have paid attention to my past efforts, you know that King Wen saw 35 as an infant. 40 is (among other things) bow and arrow. When a young man graduated from the ancient Chinese equivalent of officers candidate school, he was skilled in the use of the bow, used in fighting from a chariot. Infant + bow = Cupid, right? My note was, "arrow of cupid -- that is too good." Yes, I keep the notes on almost everything I post. And that is why I concluded, " He's as lovestruck as you are." And as for "A bright spot in a dark world."


☲
☷


Do I really need to explain this?

There is an added dimension. Fifty years ago on a midnight train in Georgia (you know the song) I was made the most generous offer I have ever received in my life. I turned it down because I was under contract and people would be waiting for me at dawn at the end of the line. I would have had an entirely different and maybe better life if I had accepted. For this reason I do not want a younger strangeronatrain to turn down her opportunity for a better life now. Choices like this come around only once.

 

[Trojina]

Neither of you answered my request. I want to link to this thread from my blog in Reading Circle here.

Tom can read it, stranger can't...so I think I should seek permission to link ?

Do I have it from either of you ?

I will now read your above post Tom

 

[pocossin]

I'm starting to get concerned about anonymity. Would it be okay with trojan and poccasin for me to explain the situation more specifically in a pm?

It would be OK with me, but I don't need it. I judge by the spirit of your presentation, and, truly, I don't need more information. If I judged by information, instead of attitude and values, them I have failed.

 

[strangeronatrain]

Yes, you have my permission to link - but that's why I'm asking about the PM. Pocossin, I respect your not needing to know. Trojan, would you care to know more? (I just don't want to put anymore information here.)

 

[pocossin]

Tom can read it, stranger can't...

Of course you have my permission to use anything I post however you wish. I can read your blog only because of Hilary's generosity. May I have permission to quote from it here?

 

[Trojina]

You don't understand Tom. I am not asking for an explanation. I don't mind how you come to the conclusions you do and in any case there is a link to 'connotation' in your signature to explain your approach. It is at times pretty loosely connected to the I Ching IMO though I respect your approach and diligence to a degree.


We all make surmises based on an answer but you went forward into certain knowledge which you don't have IMO. Telling her that he is 'love struck' could be highly misleading and from his actions it seems to me it was.

I'll go finish my thoughts in my blog as I'm aware this is taking the thread off topic. Besides it's a general point I want to make too, it's not specifically targeted at you.

Of course if it turns out he is totally love struck I'll be embarrassed but I can live with that and it's the general point I wish to make.

 

[Trojina]

Yes, you have my permission to link - but that's why I'm asking about the PM. Pocossin, I respect your not needing to know. Trojan, would you care to know more? (I just don't want to put anymore information here.)

Thanks, much appreciated and thanks for your tolerance too. I admire how you listen to such differing views with such equanimity.

Like Tom I don't think I need to know more. The disagreement here isn't so much about your circumstances it's more a general disagreement about approaches to doing readings.

Oh BTW whilst I shall be embarrassed if he is totally love struck because I've made a point about it, I shall still be very pleased for you and hope that he is.

I suppose 26.1 might mean he needs time to readjust, but I wouldn't want you to hang onto that as 26.1 is definitely saying to hold back and it's likely you that needs to hold back.

 

[Trojina]

Of course you have my permission to use anything I post however you wish. I can read your blog only because of Hilary's generosity. May I have permission to quote from it here?

No I don't want you to quote from it here. I'm writing it in the private area of the forum in my own blog for a reason. If I wished to have it here I'd write it here.

Luis once said if someone was going to argue with him they could pay for the privilege. I could see his point. I don't consent to have things I write there quoted here.

 

[strangeronatrain]

Thank you for the compliment -- I'm trying my best to be really patient. Weighing my gut reaction to the readings against your readings. The only information I think you could use is more of how he reacted (which gets into who we both are a little more and possibly TMI for here) because I think you're seeing it as negative. His regular demeanor with me is very very positive, but in this case maybe slightly more so, offering gifts, asking me to collaborate with him, going somewhere special and slightly out of the way for brunch... that sort of thing. So to sum up, his reaction wasn't negative. But it wasn't the end of a John Hughes movie either.

But still, I think my suddenly getting effusive could be off-putting, as I think he would feel very guilty if he thought that I did dump someone else for him. Which, while he was a factor certainly in showing me what I was missing -- and I DO admit to fantasizing about a future, as I am human -- the concerns about my relationship started many months before I started to see the newer man.

But I am content to sit still, wait and see. Because if either or both of the opinions is accurate, then the advice is still the same. I made my move. I've got plenty other things to worry about and work on. I am still happier being alone than where I was, health is improving, life is improving, relationship with my cats is improving... if this one thing that made my heart flip turns out to be nothing, I have figured out what I need from a partner, even if that partner isn't him. I think that's enough.

 

[Trojina]

There is an added dimension. Fifty years ago on a midnight train in Georgia (you know the song) I was made the most generous offer I have ever received in my life. I turned it down because I was under contract and people would be waiting for me at dawn at the end of the line. I would have had an entirely different and maybe better life if I had accepted. For this reason I do not want a younger strangeronatrain to turn down her opportunity for a better life now. Choices like this come around only once.

Are you saying that you think her name and your experience are linked ?


BTW this is such a poignant tale isn't it. Do you really think the whole of your life would have been different if you had accepted ?

 

[pocossin]

Are you saying that you think her name and your experience are linked ?

Yes, everything is linked.

Do you really think the whole of your life would have been different if you had accepted ?

Absolutely.

 

[Trojina]

Yes, everything is linked.



Absolutely.

Potentially this views teeters on the borders of insanity if it means that you think every event in your life means something in other people's lives too.

On one level I can agree yes all is linked.....but I really wouldn't go so far as to imagine that everything that occurs in my world has meaning for someone I've never met.

I did wonder why you were giving advice which was really the opposite to advice the I Ching was giving. The reason was you weren't mainly referring to the I Ching but to something that happened to you linking in with the name 'strangeronatrain'. I see where you are coming from, I don't 100% dispute the possibility of your experience and her name linking. But then again your answer wasn't from the I Ching and it is an I Ching forum.


I think a bit more explanation would have helped me see where you were coming from. I was taking my answer to stranger from her readings and you overall have been in favour of her new relationship because you met someone on a train a long time ago. So we weren't actually talking about the readings here I don't think.

 

[pocossin]

Potentially this views teeters on the borders of insanity

Yes, it might tip the weak-minded over the edge.

I really wouldn't go so far as to imagine that everything that occurs in my world has meaning for someone I've never met.

As one face is like another so one mind is like another. The human condition is the same for us all, and our lives parallel.

I did wonder why you were giving advice which was really the opposite to advice the I Ching was giving.

Often the advice the I Ching gives you isn't the advice it gives me. However, I did thank you recently for a view that I shared.

I think a bit more explanation would have helped me see where you were coming from.

I have found that explanation just opens me to criticism, so I make concise statements and try not to explain. I invite any querent who would like to know the grounds of my judgment to PM me, the only proviso being that I not be quoted in open forum.

 

[strangeronatrain]

Does it hold any weight at all that I think the truth lies between the two reads? If so I have a few more throws to share.

 

[strangeronatrain]

Okay - so I have decided after meditating on the answers to proceed as if trojan has the right call on this and try to stop thinking of this person as a potential partner (although I think it's beneficial to do this regardless of which read is more applicable) as well as not initiating contact for a while.

I asked the yi what is likely to become of not contacting him and got 35 Unchanging, which to me reads like the Abundance card in tarot. If I stop obsessing about this one part of my life the rest of it will open up and I'll be more receptive to good things coming my way. That said, I'm not planning to ignore him if he contacts me, but I'm certainly going to start taking my eggs out of this emotional basket and either hold on to the eggs or find new baskets.

Now... this said, he has asked me to collaborate on a project with him. I'm not so sure about trying to compartmentalize feelings while working with him closely over a matter of weeks or months. So I asked the yi's advice regarding this project (meditating on should I or shouldn't I, or what happens if I do) and got 27 Unchanging.

Stumped.

I was totally expecting the yi to give me some line that suggested "are you kidding me?" Entangle yourself further? Or stop now. But 27 is saying this collaboration could be something good for me... if I know how to make it good for me. A friend I was speaking to suggested it would be great for my career but I *just* got out of something that pained me to be in but "nourished me" financially. And it came at a great cost. Why put myself in that position again? I wouldn't be gaining money, but I would be gaining instant notoriety.

Trojan, I see from other threads that you think this hex throws the questions back at the seeker and I'm afraid I don't have an answer. I know that it makes me very very nervous, but that's all I know.

 

[strangeronatrain]

Another thought... it could be asking me to question my motives. And if my motives are to do this job with the purpose of "winning him over" I shouldn't do it. And frankly, saying yes to it now would be definitely tinged with that motive. But I don't know if I wait a month if that will still be the case. So I may wait the month to think on it.

 

[Trojina]

Does it hold any weight at all that I think the truth lies between the two reads? If so I have a few more throws to share.

Weight ? Not sure what you mean...afterall it's your reading so whatever others say the interpretation has to be yours. FWIW I wouldn't say Tom and I are reading the same cast differently, so it isn't a difference of opinion over how to see the reading. I don't think we are even using the same book. His advice to you as you've seen is based on an experience on a train he once had. Well if you want more detail on his understanding you can pm him or he can explain it...but what I am trying to say is there is no half way IMO if we are using different divination methods. If someone gave a Tarot reading here for example I wouldn't try and compare or connect with my reading from Yi. They are different things.

Okay - so I have decided after meditating on the answers to proceed as if trojan has the right call on this and try to stop thinking of this person as a potential partner (although I think it's beneficial to do this regardless of which read is more applicable) as well as not initiating contact for a while.

Yes. You don't need the IC to tell you it's not a great idea to be chasing a man up. I'm sure you have already seen the book "He's just not that into you". Horrible title of course ,sounds cruel....but boy did it ever need saying to women "if a man is interested in you he will let you know"...and they give guidelines, ideas about what you really shouldn't be doing...ie making up lots of reasons for yourself why he isn't on the phone asking you out and kissing your face off. I recommend the book anyway.

BTW he may really like you. I have no idea. And no one here can mind read him IMO, he should be allowed to speak for himself. So there is no way I'd ever tell you he didn't like you or he did.. That is his privilege and no one else's. All you need to do is let him know you are interested and leave him to get in touch etc.

I asked the yi what is likely to become of not contacting him and got 35 Unchanging, which to me reads like the Abundance card in tarot. If I stop obsessing about this one part of my life the rest of it will open up and I'll be more receptive to good things coming my way. That said, I'm not planning to ignore him if he contacts me, but I'm certainly going to start taking my eggs out of this emotional basket and either hold on to the eggs or find new baskets

.

I started a thread on 35uc I will link to. No idea what it means here

Now... this said, he has asked me to collaborate on a project with him. I'm not so sure about trying to compartmentalize feelings while working with him closely over a matter of weeks or months. So I asked the yi's advice regarding this project (meditating on should I or shouldn't I, or what happens if I do) and got 27 Unchanging.

Stumped.

So much has been written on 27uc lately will give a few links later

I was totally expecting the yi to give me some line that suggested "are you kidding me?" Entangle yourself further? Or stop now. But 27 is saying this collaboration could be something good for me... if I know how to make it good for me. A friend I was speaking to suggested it would be great for my career but I *just* got out of something that pained me to be in but "nourished me" financially. And it came at a great cost. Why put myself in that position again? I wouldn't be gaining money, but I would be gaining instant notoriety.

I don't think 27uc means it would be good for you. I think it's an open question about what you need to feed yourself emotionally and financially. Is it necessary ? is the question 27uc often asks IMO. Do you need the work for the money ? Do you want 'instant notoriety' or not ? Totally up to what you feels nourishes you.

Trojan, I see from other threads that you think this hex throws the questions back at the seeker and I'm afraid I don't have an answer. I know that it makes me very very nervous, but that's all I know.

Well you have to figure what is necessary for you. No one else can do it.

 

[Trojina]

http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/friends/showthread.php?18215-Hex-27-unchanging

good one on 27 uc above


35uc

http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/frie...ging-Castings-Hexagram-35&p-185580#post185580

27uc

http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/frie...eriences-with-Unchanging-Castings-Hexagram-27

 

[Trojina]

Another thought... it could be asking me to question my motives. And if my motives are to do this job with the purpose of "winning him over" I shouldn't do it. And frankly, saying yes to it now would be definitely tinged with that motive. But I don't know if I wait a month if that will still be the case. So I may wait the month to think on it.

Yes I agree with you here about your motives. I wouldn't advise working with him to get closer to him. If he is famous he will have plenty of people doing that. Also you shouldn't have to try. If he wants you he will let you know. Having said that I can see how tempting it might be .

At first it seemed you were already with him but you're not are you ?

 

[strangeronatrain]

I'm dating him... But we're not partners in the committed sense. Casual partners would be better. Somewhere in between fwb and committed. Actual dates not just phone calls in the middle of the night.

 

[strangeronatrain]

And this started with full consent about last spring.

 

[Trojina]

fwb ? friends with benefits ? What can I say ? Don't go there . Never works. The woman always wants more and gets second best. If you want first best cut the fwb IMO. All that casual stuff is like meant to be hip or cool but it just doesn't work for the woman (usually) IMO.

BTW that opinion is just that and has nothing to do with the I Ching. Really old fashioned advice: if you want more don't go doing that fwb stuff....how can that ever work for you emotionally ? What can you imagine you get from that ? Why would he be more committed if he can sleep with you whenever he wants and still have other women ? We are still apes fundamentally. He wants to spread his seed and you , metaphorically, want him to stay with you and feed your babies. That's why fwb for younger women anyway doesn't work IMO if you want to feel loved and secure.

So my unsolicited advice is you say your feelings are involved and you cannot just go on screwing whenever he feels like it, it doesn't work for you anymore. It hurts your heart. So either he is with you or he is not with you. he has to choose. Unless you really like this fwb malarkey. I don't think most women really like it but you might.

But if you think he is voluntarily going to say "I only want you and only you now"...you could have a long wait.

I could be wrong ! I could be very wrong. It's always possible. But fwb when you are really into him ? Nah !

 

[Trojina]

I think you need to get some books on all this....'the rules' is extreme and probably silly but they are still important points in it that hold good IMO around dating.


I could be wrong....you are clearly an intelligent woman. I trust your judgement. I thought waiting a month was a good idea. Give yourself time to think. if you start on a project with him and he breaks your heart....then it's a double whammy. You lose everything at once.

 

[strangeronatrain]

Remember when I said it sounds like the yi wants me to follow "the rules?"

I disagree but respect your take on fwbs. But oddly enough your advice still matches what I think is the best course of action in this singular situation.

When I started seeing the other guy I thought I had my partner. (We had always seen others for the whole long long relationship.) But until that relationship started flagging, no feelings for others conflicted. And then this...

Even if his feelings do approach mine in depth, I should still take a step back. It cannot hurt and can only help in all circumstances. No matter what read is the most accurate. So that's what I'll do. (And it appears to match the advice.)

 

[Trojina]

Yes I recall you did say that about Yi and rules.


Just to add, some would say with unchanging hexagrams the matter is somewhat out of your hands. It is as it is, there's not actually much you can do or not do to impact on things. That's not a hard rule it's just been suggested and in some instances I think it's true. I find many unchanging hexagrams hard to interpret, always have, hence why I'm asking others to add their experiences to the unchanging hexagram threads. So if later on you think "ah I know what that 35 meant " let us know won't you.

I think 35uc is generally the door is open to you but you asked what if you don't call him ?

That question alone speaks volumes doesn't it. I mean ideally you shouldn't need to ask that as what would happen is he would call you and you wouldn't be left wondering.

Also I wonder if 35uc has a lot to do with good self esteem too ? I think you need good self esteem to get through this time of emotional uncertainty. You sound confident anyway.