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35.2.6 to 40 - State of a Union

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The reading: 35.2.6 to 40

The situation in brief:

I've been seeing two men. One for a very long:eek: time, always non-monogamous and honest about it, the other for about 7 months. They know about each other and everything is amicable. (We're all arty traveling types.)

My long term relationship has been showing signs of falling apart from a compatibility angle. Love but not in love. At this point it's a matter of exit strategy. The short term one has been getting much more intense and I have fallen in love. But I don't discuss this with the newer man because if the other relationship is ending I want it to end on it's terms, not because of my feelings for this newer person.

My question was this: how does this newer partner see me and the relationship? In the back of my mind I'm trying to gauge development of his feelings just to make sure I'm not seeing what I want to see.

I know it's a weird situation, but I've waited for months before asking, sifting through the boards.
 

pocossin

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How does this newer partner see me and the relationship?
35.2.6 > 40


A bright spot in a dark world. He's as lovestruck as you are.
 
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sooo

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I agree with Tom's assessment.

I'd add, he's not happy that there are still unbroken ties between you and your old lover, but he's waiting it out, in the hopes that you'll eventually reach the state you have arrived at. Until then he applies discipline to his own feelings, which I think shows strength and character. However, and this I speculate only with help from one aspect of 40 to move on should he choose, that his patience won't endure forever for you to make up your mind.
 
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That was my impression from the reading as well. (And from my intuition.) I've got some work to do! Thank you so much for helping me, both of you.

PS How does one do the "thank you for the helpful post" thing?
 

Trojina

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The reading: 35.2.6 to 40

The situation in brief:

I've been seeing two men. One for a very long:eek: time, always non-monogamous and honest about it, the other for about 7 months. They know about each other and everything is amicable. (We're all arty traveling types.)

My long term relationship has been showing signs of falling apart from a compatibility angle. Love but not in love. At this point it's a matter of exit strategy. The short term one has been getting much more intense and I have fallen in love. But I don't discuss this with the newer man because if the other relationship is ending I want it to end on it's terms, not because of my feelings for this newer person.

My question was this: how does this newer partner see me and the relationship? In the back of my mind I'm trying to gauge development of his feelings just to make sure I'm not seeing what I want to see.

I know it's a weird situation, but I've waited for months before asking, sifting through the boards.

It's not like someone can look at your reading and say he knows what this person feels for you....only person who knows that is him, the guy himself....I'll post a link. It really isn't a good idea to think you know what he feels from a reading and an even worse idea to imagine someone else who doesn't know him knows IMO

There's a lot of ways to see this reading and all of them in this instance would involve guess work. here's a link to help you find useful relationship questions http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/frie...42-Blog-post-Advice-for-relationship-readings
 
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sooo

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It's not like someone can look at your reading and say he knows what this person feels for you....only person who knows that is him, the guy himself....I'll post a link. It really isn't a good idea to think you know what he feels from a reading and an even worse idea to imagine someone else who doesn't know him knows IMO

Nonsense.
 

Trojina

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It is my view. Which as far as I know I am perfectly entitled to give on this thread
 
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sooo

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Yes, and likewise for others with a view different from yours.

If it is outside your limits, that's understandable, but to decry it as impossible for everyone is outside ones ability and authority. It would be like me saying, it's not like someone can look at a reading and know the outcome of an immediate action; which btw, I don't believe. The limits of what Yi can or will answer to is up to the wisdom of the Yi, or it's source, and I believe that largely depends on ones motive for wanting to know. But that's just my belief.

I've asked this type of question several times. If my intent is to gain knowledge and understanding, I generally receive sensible answers.

But each is entitled to express their opinions, I agree.
 

Trojina

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If it is outside your limits, that's understandable, but to decry it as impossible for everyone is outside ones ability and authority.

LOL well claiming to know the contents of another's mind via Yi reading is something I would say is well 'outside one's ability and authority'. I'd say the truth is one doesn't know for sure though may have an inkling. To claim one knows for sure what another is thinking via a Yi reading is actually something I certainly do decry and have before.

This is not the place to decry it for sure, which is why I posted a link for alternatives to the "what is he thinking ?" question here.


OTOH in answering any question certain assumptions are always made about the 'other' in the question and so making guesses at what others feel is often unavoidable.


But yes to be honest the whole approach of "john feels this about you and he wants you to do this" is an approach I decry to the degree I would stay well away from this area if it were prevalent....since as you say it goes "well outside one's abilities and authority" to claim one knows the precise contents of Johns mind and what he feels for Jane.


BTW I think we both know the other views on this so it's not worth discussing again. When it happens, the "john loves you etc etc" I'm content to post a link to the relationship sticky if it seems a good idea....if it happened all the time I'd quit posting here as about the only thing to do.
 
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goddessliss

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Poor John - he always bears the brunt of all relationship issues!
 

Trojina

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Hehe that was Glamour !

But anyway yes I take your point Bruce....I was not meaning to personally decry any individuals but wished to say to strangeronatrain I'd question that approach.

However I think strangeronatrain has scurried off happily with the answer she likes....but still the link I gave may be useful in future
 
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Nope, not scurrying. I've been lurking on this site too long to not give thought to every answer in turn -- and by the way, nice move on the Gilda. (I teach/make films.)

I think, actually, that everyone is correct here and I was a bit unclear with my question as written here: "My question was this: how does this newer partner see me and the relationship? In the back of my mind I'm trying to gauge development of his feelings just to make sure I'm not seeing what I want to see."

I'm a ruminator, and I remember very much focusing on the "climate" of the situation. I remember repeating climate climate climate to myself. I was asking the question, but definitely angling toward the whole of the situation and not just "does he like me?" So when an answer comes back that reinforces that I have to extract myself from my current relationship really hit close to home because I believe it already, my therapist has been assisting me in focusing my ruminations, my friends and family are supportive and aware...

But I asked because I know that I can be susceptible to seeing what I want to see, or twisting what I see into what I want to see. But honestly, the reads here do line up to what I believe to be already true.

That said, trojan, I may come back to this thread with a better worded question -- but I'm not convinced that the yi didn't look past my crap language and give me the "climate" answer instead.
 
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Just reread that "advice for relationship questions" thread. I'm not sure I was too far away from her suggestions in my focus... But I will be more clear in the future.
 
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sooo

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S'all good. If there were no differing perspectives we'd all be staring at a bunch of blank pages. :flirt:

Climate, climate, climate. :bows:
 
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So I told the newer interest of mine that I am now single. I told him matter of factly. He was very concerned about me, but I didn't see any obvious "shift" in his overall behavior. Maybe a little more affection than usual, maybe a little more smiling and laughing than usual. He suggested some artistic future plans, nothing too much.

I did not afterward do what I felt in my heart and spill my guts about my feelings for him. Nope. I went home and threw coins because my instincts say SIT STILL.

Two reads:

First, so I've told him. What is the next step?
26.1 to 18
Seems straightforward. Sit still. I'm thinking less that the situation is "dangerous" but that it's "precarious." The memory of me will likely nudge things enough in the right direction. If I hold still, he'll come to his own decision - either way. If I blurt out my feelings, it will push him away. (Afraid of rebound - odd since we're already involved but maybe so?)

Second, what climatic shift, if any, has happened since I've given him this news?
22 Unchanging
This is one I don't get often and I don't fully understand. But possibly this means that telling him nudged the relationship in the way I wish it would go, but only just very little progress. It's like the first glimpses of images on a Polaroid.
Or it could mean the courtship has officially begun... the surface stuff that predates the serious stuff.

I also think there is a suggestion that while I'm sitting still, I should be working on myself. Self-improvement. (Which has been a mission - beautifying my apartment, figuring out how best to improve my health. Organizing.)

I may be batty, but both of these reads make me think the yi really wants me to follow "The [Dating] Rules."

ps Or I could be blinded by oxytocin...
 

Trojina

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Well yes FWIW IMO it was never worth leaving the other guy for him !

I know you'll say you didn't leave the other guy for him....but if you think about hard it was certainly a factor wasn't it.

I may be batty, but both of these reads make me think the yi really wants me to follow "The [Dating] Rules."

ps Or I could be blinded by oxytocin...


Are you actually with this guy or not ? I'm confused. I thought you were already together.


Anyway I really should shut up as you know what I think. :mmf: I don't think previous readings ever encouraged you to leave the guy you were with....and I don't see much happening with the newer interest.


26.1 ? Really there is no next step


Second, what climatic shift, if any, has happened since I've given him this news?
22 Unchanging
This is one I don't get often and I don't fully understand. But possibly this means that telling him nudged the relationship in the way I wish it would go, but only just very little progress. It's like the first glimpses of images on a Polaroid.
Or it could mean the courtship has officially begun... the surface stuff that predates the serious stuff.



:confused: you mean you expected a climactic shift ? from what ? If he wasn't already with you then why would he suddenly change because of your news ?


I don't ever say this but I'm being honest in my views of your readings on all this so far. I think you pretty much ignored and went against every reading you've had. So is there any point in consulting Yi if you are just going to do what you want anyway.


A bird in the hand is worth 2 in the bush. The other guy you left treated you well...this guy is just playing IMO.

Maybe you have to learn the hard way what is valuable and what isn't.
 

Trojina

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Second, what climatic shift, if any, has happened since I've given him this news?
22 Unchanging
This is one I don't get often and I don't fully understand. But possibly this means that telling him nudged the relationship in the way I wish it would go, but only just very little progress. It's like the first glimpses of images on a Polaroid.
Or it could mean the courtship has officially begun... the surface stuff that predates the serious stuff


No...maybe what you see right now in front of you is all there is.

If you don't know if the courtship has begun then it hasn't begun. If it was beginning you'd know about it.

If you think it's always just around the corner you are kidding yourself.

Anyway I think you are ignoring Yi's advice all the time....so will leave you in peace


With genuine Good Wishes I might add.
 
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Climatic. Not climactic. I just was asking if the overall atmosphere had shifted. Not if there was a dramatic shift.

You may be right. In the months leading to the breakup, I readied myself for the possibility that I could end up with nothing. I'm not really scared by this. You may be correct. The advice to do nothing yields the same result as the yi telling me there is nothing to do.

All I know is that since the breakup I've been happier than I've been in over a year.

But I respect your opinion. If this is all there is, it's not so bad.
 
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pocossin

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What is the next step?
26.1 > 18


He will need a period of adjustment. Hexagram 26 is restraint of of the male. Hexagram 18 is auspicious that matters will eventually be attended to.

What climatic shift, if any, has happened since I've given him this news?
22 Unchanging


The main climatic shift is that you are no longer under so much stress, and this shows in your appearance. You are more attractive now than you were a week ago.
 

Trojina

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Tom you initially said this and I openly disapproved of such a statement. I said it had no basis since you cannot read his mind via the casting so I think it misleading


How does this newer partner see me and the relationship?
35.2.6 > 40


A bright spot in a dark world. He's as lovestruck as you are.


I stand by that. You now say he needs a period of adjustment ? Well he might but I don't see that that is what Yi is saying.
 

Trojina

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Meantime strangeronatrain I hold you personally responsible for this 'earworm'. That is a song one cannot get out of one's head. Since you began posting here it has played non stop in my head and worse I have been singing it aloud in the car and everywhere...complete with expressive gesturing


[video=youtube;hlSbSKNk9f0]http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=hlSbSKNk9f0#t=5[/video]
 

pocossin

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Tom you initially said this and I openly disapproved of such a statement. I said it had no basis since you cannot read his mind via the casting so I think it misleading





I stand by that. You now say he needs a period of adjustment ? Well he might but I don't see that that is what Yi is saying.

Thank you, Trojan. I posted again to this thread only because I was asked to do so. When a woman volunteers to a man that she is single, it is a clear signal that she would like a more intense relationship. (Would that a woman would say the same to me.) Strangeronatrain has had months to prepare for this. Her proposed new partner hasn't. Give it time, and let intensity develop. In any case, a change was needed. In my opinion the conditions of her prior relationship were psychosomatically negative.
 

Trojina

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When a woman volunteers to a man that she is single, it is a clear signal that she would like a more intense relationship

Agreed. But when she did volunteer the information he didn't exactly respond well did he ?

strangeronatrain presumably can decide for herself what to do but should you really tell someone that someone else is love struck about them when you don't actually know that at all ?


What if he isn't lovestruck ?
 

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