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In knowing how a person feels they themselves have to be involved in the communication. You can't have a relationship via the I Ching.I asked my my now ex's motivations, sort of out of fear, and got 8.2. Interpreted that as she was looking for was true intimacy, just needing time.
That looks like a picture of too much, over load. You expect too much of yourself. You aren't well are you and this kind of thing doesn't help.I asked mine and got 1.1.6>28, interpreted that as my need to find balance between hiding my feelings and being arrogant, or balancing moods
You could blame her instead of you, that would be a start. I'm sorry but she does sound like a rather a flake to me. If you aren't well how is trying to have a relationship with a total flake who makes it up as she goes along ever going to work? It would be hard at the best of times in the best of health.Apparently I made a big mistake though. In relating to her, blame, or in my own expectations. I don't know what
How would anybody handle it? She's being unfaithful. Most people would get mad.The long and short of it:
is we had somewhat reconciled, then had a fight. She was very angry at my approach to reconciling this fight, and somebody else asked her on a date that day. I could tell something was wrong from her avoiding affection. Then she told me she had accepted date with a man she's known for a long time.
I did not handle this well and we ended up breaking up, but she still went on the date.
Can you get away from her? Or can you make plans to get away from her?Since then all my castings have been DANGER this danger that. Be careful be careful. Well, I'm still in the same precarious financial & housing situation, so it makes sense.
But now it seems things are beyond repair. This guy is somewhat of her dream guy, he just was formerly entangled with an ex and unavailable. I'm having the hardest time accepting this blow, it plays on all my deepest fears and insecurities, but know I need to swallow my ego and keep calm in order to get through this extremely unpleasant situation, financially and emotionally.
Anyways, I had asked how to make it through a difficult conversation of touching base with X after her date.
62.2 i have gotten recently about my motivations for re=entering the relationship. I take it as, well you tried to really end it, but maybe you can't so how about setting some boundaries and settling for whatever the connection is rather than what you would like.
but 62.6, the bird leaving, a bad omen, due to making a serious mistake. - that worried me quite a bit.
Not generally a good idea to ask a question when you're asking it from a misunderstanding of a previous question. This answer seems to refer to letting things sink in, slow realisations. You need to get out of panic mode in order to think straight.I asked Yi: "So what was my mistake?"
Thank you Trojina.You haven't made any mistake other than trying to have a relationship with an inconsiderate flake.
It's that simple. These readings warn you of danger, she doesn't seem to be good for you
In knowing how a person feels they themselves have to be involved in the communication. You can't have a relationship via the I Ching.
That looks like a picture of too much, over load. You expect too much of yourself. You aren't well are you and this kind of thing doesn't help.
You could blame her instead of you, that would be a start. I'm sorry but she does sound like a rather a flake to me. If you aren't well how is trying to have a relationship with a total flake who makes it up as she goes along ever going to work? It would be hard at the best of times in the best of health.
How would anybody handle it? She's being unfaithful. Most people would get mad.
Can you get away from her? Or can you make plans to get away from her?
I never did think this settling for second best was a good idea. I think you said you were going to carry on the relationship but it was temporary.
I think you are asking way way too much of yourself, it's unrealistic. I think lack of realism is a danger in 62.6. Why would you be calm and reasonable in this situation? Aren't you missing the point that this relationship asks too much of you and you cannot handle it? So the line isn't saying you did something wrong but that you're missing a reality here that you need to meet with. You need to be very careful in taking care of yourself in all ways.
Not generally a good idea to ask a question when you're asking it from a misunderstanding of a previous question. This answer seems to refer to letting things sink in, slow realisations. You need to get out of panic mode in order to think straight.
But don't think about her think about you. You may need to escape from her by the sound of it. If you cannot then maybe make secret plans to get it together when you're strong enough to leave?
Above all please do not turn blame on yourself.
Hex 5 calls for an attendance to your own needs and not just being patient. It is about using the time of waiting wisely to reflect on the way of things. Deep down Hex 5 is offering you a chance to see deeply into the rights and wrongs of the situation you are encountering: to gain a new perspective.I asked Yi: "So what was my mistake?"
thank you My_key.Hex 5 calls for an attendance to your own needs and not just being patient. It is about using the time of waiting wisely to reflect on the way of things. Deep down Hex 5 it is offering you a chance to see deeply into the rights and wrongs of the situation you are encountering: to gain a new perspective.
At these times, it helps you to sit with all the heaviness (5.1) and then without trying to change anything begin to notice what emerges from the heaviness you carry (5.6). When you attend to your own needs in this way it is quite amazing what subtle new insights spring forth.
... or it may mean nothing at all like this for you.
thank you I will note that for the future and make sure to include the resulting.I asked my my now ex's motivations
8.2 > 29
She wanted to be alone with the other guy.
I asked mine [motivation]
1.1.6 > 28
You don't fancy her sexually anymore.
how to make it through a difficult conversation of touching base with X after her date
62.2.6 > 50
Warn her that if this happens again you'll leave her, although it would be a manipulation tactic (50) on your part (I'm assuming this means manipulate her in this manner, since you already know that it financially benefits you to stay where you are for now).
So what was my mistake?
5.1.6 > 57
That without waiting at all you immediately obeyed (57) her wishes.
how can I remedy this?
24.1.4 > 16
Tell her this needs to stop right here, and it can't happen again, and that you'll leave if it does - although, again, you'll only be pretending (16) that you'll leave.
Yi also gave me 7.3 > 46
I'm afraid you've lost this battle, and your ego is very wounded. 46 shows you'll get over it.
It would be very helpful if you added the resulting hexagrams too, instead of letting us work them out one by one. I hope the new year is better for you than the previous one.
I will take both of these readings into consideration. On one hand, there is honoring my needs and on the other I do love her and had hoped in the future we could reconnect as friends or creative collaborators, as that was the strength in our relationship.I think Diamant's quite a bit off here. Trojina already made a lot of good points.
8.2 for your ex's motivations seems to me like she's just doing exactly what she wants. 8 follows its predilictions like a stream follows the earth.
I don't think 1.1.6 has to do with fancying anyone. It might mean something like you (Kestrel) were motivated to hope the ridgepole wouldn't collapse, and thought maybe the best way to prevent that was to remain submerged, not fly too high.
You already had the 62.2.6 talk and it seems to have come out okay, it seems like the air was cleared a little, but for future reference I wonder if it'd be best not to discuss her relationship more than necessary. It seems like it would be painful and I'm not sure what's in it for you. Maybe don't talk too much about the big heavy things, just the smaller practical stuff.
I agree the follow-up readings might not be direct answers for the reason Trojina said.
24.1.4... 24 might indeed mean the spring, a few months from now. 24's literally about the process from winter to spring. 24.1 might mean you pretty much already know what you should do, your ideas are close, just follow through with them. Face facts, as you said, rest, take care of yourself. Those are all good 24 things. (From the Image: the kings close the borders, business slows down, and so forth. People adjust to the season.) 24.4 - try to center yourself, start getting used to the idea of being on your own.
I don't think any of these readings call for ultimatums at all; I think that would be a bad idea.
A very bleak picture of the situation, which I do feel might be colored by the lack of perspective on my own faults, criticisms, and actings out throughout the relationship. It is hard to paint a full picture of a story with two sides, when both are projecting. Tonight we talked very openly, she revealed this man may not even like her, she was just looking for fun, lightness and kindness in other people. She has been holding in a lot of pain, and as much as I tried to help, my help itself ended up toxic as criticism, expectation and resentment built up. Sometimes trying to help people just enables their destruction. I'm in codependents anonymous for a reason.@kestrelw1ngs I've been following your story and I know you've been involuntarily trapped in this. Toxic people bully others with constant, unpredictable, and illogical bursts of anger, they also often trap others financially, and they isolate their victims by cutting off (in one way or another) the victim's support network. They hate having their vileness exposed, and they make you tiptoe around them, always trying to please them and them never pleased.
She's textbook, and she's been wiping her shoes on you. If you truly believe you can be 'friends' with such a viper, you're in for more and more and more trouble in the future - and not just with her, but with others of her type.
telling her our friendship in the future is over if she sees him one more time while I live here is possible. That seems a fair boundary.
40.2 > 16
It won't work. The cunning fox wins (i.e. the dishonest and unfair one wins).
Lie to her, tell her you're talking to other women on online dating or something.
Pretend you're about to leave. (or better yet, according to me, truly prepare to leave)
Thank you, yes. I am finding comfort in this forum in lieu of close friends to talk to, but probably should just find extra support.Of course only you can know both sides. And only you can decide if this 'undoubtedly toxic' as you call it situation you're in can, or cannot, be described to you in bleak words.
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