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63 to 40. Mentally ill?

AnitaS

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My Italian from 33 years ago called me recently and was very loving and emotional. He sounded quite nervous and his voice was tremulous. He said he will try and visit me in January. But right after that conversation he ignored my message. I thought perhaps he felt overwhelmed. But a few days later he did respond to my message. Since our last communication two days ago he once again ignored my message. I rarely message him vecause I know he is busy. Astrologically he is going through a very difficult time- the Rahu Mahadasha which can bring depression and illness and all sorts of loss. I did draw 47 for the reason for his intermittent responses recently. When I asked yesterday whether he is mentally ill, I drew 63 lines 1 2.3.4.5 moving to 40. Any suggestions are welcome. Thank you for your time.
 

Trojina

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I don't think it possible to ascertain whether he is mentally ill from any answer. It would be better to ask the question from your own perspective perhaps in order for you to orientate yourself to what is to come.

I really don't like the sound of this

He said he will try and visit me in January.
'Try' and visit you sounds like he's now backtracking. Whereas before it was certain or at least more certain now he will only 'try'?

Have you been in a similar situation before, many years ago with someone else? I ask only because I have this memory of a German man who was keeping you hanging on in a similar way. Did I imagine that? I'm talking about 15 years ago so I'm not sure. If you prefer me not to refer to that I can delete it.

The reason I say that is I am afraid you're sort of setting yourself up for getting hurt waiting for someone again who is all hearts and flowers from a distance but isn't following through. You're also confused that he's not answering messages, another worrying sign.

What I first note about 63 is the 43 yang pattern, it looks like what bought you to ask is actually the need for a clear decision now. 23 the yin pattern, I am wondering if you need to let this go?

40 of course also calls for decision. You're asking from a place where actually you may not know it yet but you either want this to happen or to let it go. You do not really want for this to drag on in any kind of grey area where he might 'try' to come. 63 here could mean it's run it's course or there's as much there as there can be so now it's time for things to happen and move forward realistically or to let him go.


It may not look at all that clear cut to you. Obviously you are still communicating but he is sending mixed signals. I won't look at all the lines but in general I get the sense of a lot of struggle to make this happen you may prefer to let go of?



I could be completely wrong of course but there has to be a limit for you doesn't there regarding how much hope and waiting to pour into a man who appears to be retreating despite all the loving messages. I have known men/people like this. They tell you how much they love you but they don't come to see you. I think I'd rather have someone who was actually there for me and never mind the passionate speeches.
 
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dfreed

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My Italian from 33 years ago called me ...

I'm curious, are you saying that a long-lost former Italian lover called you 'out of the blue', after you haven't heard from them in a long time, perhaps even dozens of years? And despite his very irratic behavior, you are okay with him visiting you? And it's only because he hasn't responded to a few of your text that you now wonder if he's mentally ill?

I sense there's quite a bit of imbalance in all this, but if you are willing to experience an emotional, erratic and shocking rollercoaster of a relationship (due to both of you), then go for it! Otherwise ....
 
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Trojina

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There's a few threads with the backstory on this. Just go to Anita's name to see her threads and the backstory is there.
 

Trojina

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It's all here

and

https://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/friends/index.php?threads/11-to-9-for-attitude-to-past-love.33203/


Saves a person explaining all over again if there's previous threads that already cover the story.

Nothing wrong with asking a person for the back story of course it's just previous threads tend to help
 
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dfreed

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There's a few threads with the backstory on this. Just go to Anita's name to see ....

Looking at the 'backstory' is something you like to do. I don't, or at least rarely. And all this other 'stuff' doesn't change how I see or how I am interpreting this reading. But thanks for sharing it.
 

Trojina

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If you don't like to look at the back story am puzzled as to why you ask about it. But it's your choice of course. I'd not noticed you'd done a reading but maybe you did.

If the back story makes no difference to your interpretation then why ask her about it?
 

Trojina

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And it's not that I especially 'like' looking at previous threads it's just it can save time rather than someone having to go over it again. In this case I'd read previous threads anyway as had responded to one I think

And all this other 'stuff' doesn't change how I see
Begs the question of why ask if you see previous threads as 'stuff'.
 

AnitaS

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I don't think it possible to ascertain whether he is mentally ill from any answer. It would be better to ask the question from your own perspective perhaps in order for you to orientate yourself to what is to come.

I really don't like the sound of this


'Try' and visit you sounds like he's now backtracking. Whereas before it was certain or at least more certain now he will only 'try'?

Have you been in a similar situation before, many years ago with someone else? I ask only because I have this memory of a German man who was keeping you hanging on in a similar way. Did I imagine that? I'm talking about 15 years ago so I'm not sure. If you prefer me not to refer to that I can delete it.

The reason I say that is I am afraid you're sort of setting yourself up for getting hurt waiting for someone again who is all hearts and flowers from a distance but isn't following through. You're also confused that he's not answering messages, another worrying sign.

What I first note about 63 is the 43 yang pattern, it looks like what bought you to ask is actually the need for a clear decision now. 23 the yin pattern, I am wondering if you need to let this go?

40 of course also calls for decision. You're asking from a place where actually you may not know it yet but you either want this to happen or to let it go. You do not really want for this to drag on in any kind of grey area where he might 'try' to come. 63 here could mean it's run it's course or there's as much there as there can be so now it's time for things to happen and move forward realistically or to let him go.


It may not look at all that clear cut to you. Obviously you are still communicating but he is sending mixed signals. I won't look at all the lines but in general I get the sense of a lot of struggle to make this happen you may prefer to let go of?



I could be completely wrong of course but there has to be a limit for you doesn't there regarding how much hope and waiting to pour into a man who appears to be retreating despite all the loving messages. I have known men/people like this. They tell you how much they love you but they don't come to see you. I think I'd rather have someone who was actually there for me and never mind the passionate speeches.
Thank you Trojina for the detailed response . The German did cone to see me twice before depression set in. I visited him in Germany and his depression was worse. Everything crumbled. He never kept me hanging. My Italian is a bolt out if the blue as I was not looking for love or for him. It has been too long. If he comes nice and if he doesn't it's OK. But I did draw hexagram 8 line 1 for him as well as hex 3 lines 1 and 2 moving for a meeting. So we wait and see. I'm not making the effort after all. He is. Meanwhile life goes on. I'm painting and writing and about to build a lovely new home. I have another guy interested in me these days but he is way too young so I discourage him.
 

AnitaS

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Thank you Trojina for the detailed response . The German did cone to see me twice before depression set in. I visited him in Germany and his depression was worse. Everything crumbled. He never kept me hanging. My Italian is a bolt out if the blue as I was not looking for love or for him. It has been too long. If he comes nice and if he doesn't it's OK. But I did draw hexagram 8 line 1 for him as well as hex 3 lines 1 and 2 moving for a meeting. So we wait and see. I'm not making the effort after all. He is. Meanwhile life goes on. I'm painting and writing and about to build a lovely new home. I have another guy interested in me these days but he is way too young so I discourage him. It wasn't certain at all that he would visit. In fact only recently he said Jan. Earlier he said he wanted to see me that's all. He has a flailing restaurant business and financial problems at this time. So the delay.
 

AnitaS

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I'm curious, are you saying that a long-lost former Italian lover called you 'out of the blue', after you haven't heard from them in a long time, perhaps even dozens of years? And despite his very irratic behavior, you are okay with him visiting you? And it's only because he hasn't responded to a few of your text that you now wonder if he's mentally ill?

I sense there's quite a bit of imbalance in all this, but if you are willing to experience an emotional, erratic and shocking rollercoaster of a relationship (due to both of you), then go for it! Otherwise ....
Well thanks. Erratic? Couple of years ago he wanted to return but I wasn't ready then. There has been intense telepathy between us on and off. I know he still adores me. Why would he want me in his arms again as he says after 33 years if he didn't? If soneone is bipolar or depressed they can be in and out a lot. I would love to help him get well again. I couldn't do that with the German because I did not understand depression then. Eternity does not matter when ypu love soneone. I had a lovely relationship with him in the past. If it does not last it does not matter. It will be wonderful to reconnect . We did not have a bitter ending in the past I just got tired of waiting for him to return a second time. He did not like that. But people change. We can rediscover each other.
 

dfreed

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Begs the question of why ask if you see previous threads as 'stuff'.

'Begs' what question? 'Stuff' here means all the things said in previous threads that I did not feel I needed to look at to make my interpretation; and 'stuff' in this case is all the previous things that were said that don't change my interpretation.

Which 'begs' a few questions of my own: why should I look at 'stuff' I don't feel I need to? And why do you keep repeating yourself, when you've already told me this before? And at the risk of being repetative, I'll say, again ... I understand what you are saying here.
 

AnitaS

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I'm curious, are you saying that a long-lost former Italian lover called you 'out of the blue', after you haven't heard from them in a long time, perhaps even dozens of years? And despite his very irratic behavior, you are okay with him visiting you? And it's only because he hasn't responded to a few of your text that you now wonder if he's mentally ill?

I sense there's quite a bit of imbalance in all this, but if you are willing to experience an emotional, erratic and shocking rollercoaster of a relationship (due to both of you), then go for it! Otherwise ....
Whoops did I reply to you dfreed on the thread Trojina linked to? That was a mistake. Anyway you could see my reply there if you like. Thank you for your perspective on this. Anyway I did not ask whether we are going to meet. I asked whether he is mentally ill.
 

Trojina

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Which 'begs' a few questions of my own: why should I look at 'stuff' I don't feel I need to?
If I answer that I'm repeating again. It's because you asked her for more information. However if you do not want more information there is certainly no need to look at other threads if you do not wish to. It was merely a suggestion given you were asking for more information. However despite asking for more information you now say you don't need it. Okay fair enough.
 

dfreed

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Why would he want me in his arms again as he says after 33 years if he didn't? If soneone is bipolar or depressed they can be in and out a lot. I would love to help him get well again. I couldn't do that with the German because I did not understand depression then.

You are asking me why he wants you back in his arms? I don't know, but maybe he's lonely, or depressed, or is suffering from lunar madness, or .... he just wants to get laid? I don't really know, since I don't know you and that's not what you asked about.

And you you can think of 'erratic' as my short-hand way of saying: he may be bipolar, or depressed, or suffering from the long-term effects of Rahu Mahadasha - a lunar madmess - or maybe all of the above (which are all things you have said, not me).

And what I'm saying is, if you think you can fix him and heal him of all his afflictions (because you now have the skills to do so), then go for it! I'm just saying it will likely be an emotional, erratic and shocking rollercoaster of a relationship.

Or to put it another way, maybe this relationship means you will need to expose yourself to all his madness and lunacy (that you have described to us). And maybe me and the Yi are both asking: is this the 'romantic' journey you really want to take - or get caught up in?

Only time will tell (and you can let us know how things turn out).

And who knows, since it didn't work out with your German, and if it doesn't work out with your Italian, maybe you can have another go at healing your Canadian lover, ay? (Just kidding :love:)

Best of luck in your healing journey.
 
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AnitaS

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I don't think it possible to ascertain whether he is mentally ill from any answer. It would be better to ask the question from your own perspective perhaps in order for you to orientate yourself to what is to come.

I really don't like the sound of this


'Try' and visit you sounds like he's now backtracking. Whereas before it was certain or at least more certain now he will only 'try'?

Have you been in a similar situation before, many years ago with someone else? I ask only because I have this memory of a German man who was keeping you hanging on in a similar way. Did I imagine that? I'm talking about 15 years ago so I'm not sure. If you prefer me not to refer to that I can delete it.

The reason I say that is I am afraid you're sort of setting yourself up for getting hurt waiting for someone again who is all hearts and flowers from a distance but isn't following through. You're also confused that he's not answering messages, another worrying sign.

What I first note about 63 is the 43 yang pattern, it looks like what bought you to ask is actually the need for a clear decision now. 23 the yin pattern, I am wondering if you need to let this go?

40 of course also calls for decision. You're asking from a place where actually you may not know it yet but you either want this to happen or to let it go. You do not really want for this to drag on in any kind of grey area where he might 'try' to come. 63 here could mean it's run it's course or there's as much there as there can be so now it's time for things to happen and move forward realistically or to let him go.


It may not look at all that clear cut to you. Obviously you are still communicating but he is sending mixed signals. I won't look at all the lines but in general I get the sense of a lot of struggle to make this happen you may prefer to let go of?



I could be completely wrong of course but there has to be a limit for you doesn't there regarding how much hope and waiting to pour into a man who appears to be retreating despite all the loving messages. I have known men/people like this. They tell you how much they love you but they don't come to see you. I think I'd rather have someone who was actually there for me and never mind the passionate speeches.
Cone to think of it Trojina maybe it means that he is mentally ill but will get free from it.
 

marybluesky

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Anita you had received 63 about this guy before, and I think 63>40 simply says: it's over, let it be.
 

redoleander

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47 and 63 > 40 might be more about using up a lot of energy and it starting to feel somewhat futile. So, 47 might be more directed toward you than toward him? I can't say for sure, honestly, I just wonder if 63.5 is suggesting the simplest explanation is most correct. Like Occam's razor -- to make as few assumptions as possible, go with the facts, and from there find the simplest explanation. He is waffling on his commitment and it might be as straightforward as that for now. I think you did receive 11.6 in a past reading on this; it's possible that the promise won't materialize. I'm not sure how helpful that is because obviously you know that already, that this may or may not come about, but your readings might be telling you to pull your energy back from this quite a bit. If this were to come about it would have to be very simple and natural, like 63.5, however it's also possible there's something or someone else that happens with greater ease than the way this is unfolding. Even the 30.2 you once received could simply be about clarity, that it will become clear if he can really commit to this.

Edit: I noticed I didn't answer your question directly! I could be wrong but I'm not sure it's answering that question, might be more an overview of the situation or your approach to it.
 

AnitaS

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47 and 63 > 40 might be more about using up a lot of energy and it starting to feel somewhat futile. So, 47 might be more directed toward you than toward him? I can't say for sure, honestly, I just wonder if 63.5 is suggesting the simplest explanation is most correct. Like Occam's razor -- to make as few assumptions as possible, go with the facts, and from there find the simplest explanation. He is waffling on his commitment and it might be as straightforward as that for now. I think you did receive 11.6 in a past reading on this; it's possible that the promise won't materialize. I'm not sure how helpful that is because obviously you know that already, that this may or may not come about, but your readings might be telling you to pull your energy back from this quite a bit. If this were to come about it would have to be very simple and natural, like 63.5, however it's also possible there's something or someone else that happens with greater ease than the way this is unfolding. Even the 30.2 you once received could simply be about clarity, that it will become clear if he can really commit to this.

Edit: I noticed I didn't answer your question directly! I could be wrong but I'm not sure it's answering that question, might be more an overview of the situation or your approach to it.
Thank you Redoleander . We'll just have to wait and see. I'm not crying over it anyway. Commitment can only happen when and if we meet anyway. From both our sides. Anyway I find all this invigorating. More grist for the writer's mill! It's an adventure just thinking about it.
 

marybluesky

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No I did not Marybluesky. The relationship is still progressing.
Oh I thought this thread was about the same guy.
 

AnitaS

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Oh I thought this thread was about the same guy.
Oh I forgot because since then things have progressed. He called me a few days ago. And a few days later said he wants to visit in January. So it's been progressing. Let's see. Thanks.
 

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