Hex 58 - Joyousness, the way forward?

[Magnus]

Thanks Blue_Angel & Ginnie!

I do sort of go back and forth in my own mind. I feel that this one girl is the person I feel most strongly about in my life. I've had some interest in others but for some reason am particularly drawn to X. Over the summer we were close online, and randomly in early Sept, she opened up about how she felt she let things get in over her head. She has admitted she doesn't really know what she wants in life. At least she said that, but I mean, if she keeps talking to me that sort of implies she does care enough that she wouldn't just be fine with losing me completely. It doesn't necessarily mean she wants me to be the one for her, but that she has some idea that I'm of benefit to be around still. There's been others floating through my mind over the course of the last few months, particularly two others, but X has always been drawn back in my mind somehow. X grew up around this guy, who has asked her out multiple times, she's said yes a couple times, said no or not sure about it as well because there was a time where she felt she didn't want to say yes since she was thinking she might turn around and break it off again and possibly hurt him. She's somewhat distanced herself from me, but if I accidently or without thinking compliment her or unintentionally compare how he reacted in a situation as described by her, to how I'd act, she never seems bothered by such things. Perhaps I'm wrong to be drawn to this girl, perhaps I should either go for another fish in the sea, or stick to the familiar single life where relations matter not and fending for the self and fighting through life seems to be the way whether there's any happiness in it or not. But I feel there's a place for care free happiness and interaction with another which I have had with X. We both admitted to each other that we were drawn to the idea of being able to hang out with nothing really mattering, a sense of care freeness and freedom that isn't perceived usually within the struggles and stresses of every day drama in life.

Maybe I don't know what I want. Maybe I don't feel I can be happy, or have a relationship. Maybe I'm simply a figment of my own imagination. I really don't know anything, yet maybe I know a lot. Perhaps this post makes no sense, or it makes all the sense in the world. Either way, if there's something to bite through, I'm rather lost on it. My gut tells me X has a struggle between what X wants, and what X's father wants for X. My feeling is X would be happy with me, but there's uncertainty around whether that is really OK or not on her part. She feels I could have anyone, and that I should go for others. I don't know if this means anything much or not. I just know there's no one on my radar or anywhere around me that I feel drawn to that seems drawn to me these days. I guess that my only choice is to be OK with being single for eternity really, and perhaps if something comes along then thats what happens.

 

[blue_angel]

Thank you for sharing, as you definitely didn't have to. I can understand and I do empathize. I suppose I don't like to see people hurt and I like to see people learn, help if I am able to. How you choose to live and what you choose to do is all your own choice and decision. I can not say what is right or wrong for you. This may just be right, and eventually turn out to be a happy love story or it may just be something you need to experience in order to grow and learn. But just a suggestion, you could take this time to really explore the Iching, play with it a little, to get a deeper understanding, or to learn more. For example maybe do some readings asking questions about yourself. How am I feeling? What do I need to work on? What am I meant to do at this time? Or am I on the right path? And then sit with those readings for a while. One reading at a time, until you really get the meaning for you, and then share it here, that way we all learn together. This is a great place for support and growth I believe. Of course, you don't have to. If you choose not to, there's nothing wrong with that either. Sorry if I came across harsh. In my opinion you will learn what you need to learn and life will be ok and work out. Maybe the way you want, maybe not. But you will have good times and experiences. All in the right time.

Best wishes,

Blue_Angel

 

[Magnus]

Decided to try one of the sample questions you asked and was a bit surprised. I had no expectations of a particular response; only a curiosity of what the Iching could tell me. I asked "What am I meant to do at this time?" and 52.4.5 > 33 was the result. It seems to be more generally saying that I'm on the right track, a positive sort of result. I get the feeling it's saying "keep doing what you're doing" upon reading about the hexagrams a little bit. Of course I can do more thought and reflection to gain further understandings I'm sure. I have no idea if it relates to anything in particular or just life in general. In a general sense, I feel I'm on an appropriate path, though I feel lost, it feels right somehow. If I feel people are being harsh with me, it's more me than them I think. I can be sensitive, and that feeling of being lost or confused in life and feeling others have it all together creates a feeling of vulnerability on some level I think too.

 

[meganj]

Attitude love.
Be happy the rest will follow.
If you do not know how to be happy on your own, then learn.
Meditate, and do yoga to still your mind and thoughts.
Focus on the present always, don't think to the past or future.
Don't let your mind wander too much.
58, just be happy within your own truth, those that belong with you will follow.

 

[meganj]

Hexagram 52
The image says "the superior man does not let his thoughts go beyond the situation"
Exactly what I just said.
You're entangling your own ego-needs to take over, go back to yourself. If something's meant to fall apart then it will, if it's meant to hold together then it will. Don't be the cause though the yi is clearing indicating no action.
Don't talk just be still -5.
Right now is not the time for you to be talking.

 

[meganj]

Oh and by the way your last portion of your comment clearly indicates ego -drives and needs try to free your thoughts of these things they are your inner Demons trying to come out to play and mess with you.
Still your thoughts!! Don't think about that stuff, try not to be so emotionally involved find understanding in your emotional needs and wants.

 

[Magnus]

I've had a hunch that ego was getting too involved in things somehow. Thanks for clearly pointing this out though. Always a great thing to consider!! I suppose, if I'm understanding right, you're saying that it's better to observe the egoic wants/needs but not find emotional attachment to them. Great to think this way!

 

[blue_angel]

33- you are in a bit of a retreat mode which would be understandable

52- still your mind and heart (meditate)

Line 4- clear your mind in order to stay grounded, keep your strength, and stay inspired.

Line 5- do not say hurtful words, resting and thinking before speaking properly. Then you will have no regrets.

The way you have described your situation, this reading may just be describing how you have handled yourself which is good, auspicious.


Best wishes,

Blue_Angel

 

[meganj]

Yes observe what these things are trying to tell you so you can find some way to be released from them.
Like I said disentangling yourself from thoughts enables a person to live for today and not tomorrow or yesterday bringing up old fears and negative feelings.
So many fears can be brought up when we listen to them, but what would happen if people just learnt to ignore them?

 

[blue_angel]

Magnus,

What I find amazing about you, is you take constructive criticism so well, you remain humble, and at times, very optimistic/positive. As Ginnie said "you have to know your own mind and let that be your guide. The oracle is a good tool to use but at the end of the day its your life, your path, you have to use your instincts, have faith in yourself. Have confidence if anything. "You feel confused, lost, and sensitive, and vulnerable like everyone else has it together." That doesn't sound like an ego issue, quite the opposite.

If you felt the reading was telling you, you're on the right path, you probably felt right. And
you should go with that. I admire that you are
forever willing to learn, and accept other
people's views but you can not take them as
fact. You have to decipher through which is
true for you and which is not, especially since
we are all strangers, who says we have it all
together? No one person is any better than
the next. No one person that I know of has
reached a state of perfection. We all have our
ups and downs. We all experience times of
loss and confusion. Your feelings are yours. It
is ok to feel what you feel and accept your
feelings. Accepting and being aware is the first
step to figuring them out, where to go from
here, or not. I wish the best for you.


Blue_Angel

 

[Magnus]

Thanks Blue_Angel. I try to accept what is given to me, and to be optimistic/positive in any circumstances where I can find a way to do so. It might be because of what life has thrown my way as I've grown up, including many obstacles to overcome and opinions about these things from various individuals.

Also thanks Megan, I'm not sure what thoughts or potential fears (if any) might have brought me to ask the I Ching this question but I found it interesting...

What are the prospects of me having a wife? Hex 21.4 > 27.

Is this saying that if I want to gain a wife in my life, it is possible with effort never giving up? Seems fairly logical that that could be an answer anyone could receive about such a question.

 

[ginnie]

21.4

You have bitten through to the crux of the matter and learned that you want a wife, and you want to be somebody's husband. When we get 21.4, the situation appears more gloomy than it actually is. As John Blofeld writes: "No ray of the good fortune here indicated is visible as yet." So, you've got to hang in there and actually believe that you're capable of great patience and steadfastness in a relationship.

 

[blue_angel]

Ooooh, I love this answer for you! I am going to express my feeling of this answer to "what are the prospects of me having a wife?"

So 27- you must pay attention to what nourishes you and what nourishes others. Being careful to take in only what is nourishing. I feel this can mean for the mind, body, or soul. Also being careful to give what will nourish. So food we eat and give, words we
say or hear, things we allow to influence us and how we influence others.

21- to bite through something, is like getting to the truth or the core of the matter.

Line 4- you bite through dried meat on a bone, is saying to me... you experience a relationship with a woman and you find or see that its not nourishing. By experiencing this you benefit, you profit, and have good fortune. It is only by experiencing what is not nourishing, that we can truly appreciate what is nourishing. Same with all good things. We must learn what's not good, by experiencing. This way we can have, create, or look for what truly nourishes us. Now if this is what happened recently, past tense, what needs to happen, or maybe what you are in the process of, you have to feel for yourself. Sounds good, positive.

 

[Magnus]

Thanks for the insight, Ginnie and Blue_Angel! This does look more positive than it initially sounds. I've been through non-nourishing relationship in the past for sure, prior to the recent interest I've had. I'm not sure how far back this can refer to though. The non-nourishing relationship I am thinking of was in 2009. Perhaps it could relate to the recent interest though, or both. Will be interesting to think about this more, and to see what comes about as time continues!

 

[Magnus]

In light of the possibility of finding or seeking a more nourishing relationship, or questioning whether X and I were that nourishing relationship that 21.4 seems to speak about, I asked...

What is there for me to gain from having X in my life?

The result 38.3.4 > 26... which could seem negative perhaps but at the same time what I'm reading makes it sound positive. It's a stuck time, which I'm well aware, but the line 3 suggests it will give way to positive change if I'm understanding correctly?

 

[ginnie]

Line 3 suggests an ending of your troubles and line 4 suggests fulfillment of what is willed.

 

[Magnus]

Does this result actually answer the question I asked? Is it saying that having X ends my troubles and brings me the things I thrive on with others?

 

[ginnie]

The context of your question is 26, Major Restraint. And line 3 in hex 38 speaks of being held in place, almost as if you were a prisoner. Yet it says you do indeed get free and line 4 expresses good fortune. The yang pattern is 62 and the yin changing pattern is 61. To me this means that you are transitioning through an emotionally trying time and that perhaps the answer lies in being honest with yourself.