"I need to know if I am the one who needs to change his outlook on things". 30.4.6

[Euphon]

I was friends with a group of 3 siblings I've known for some time. They're all a few years younger than I. There seemed to be some vibe compatibility between us. The main difference is that I'm quite more conservative and intellectually oriented. They came out of a few years of disorders in their family, I won't explain in detail.

I'm in love with their sister. Most of my posts here are about her.

After a brief time in which I was in contact with all of them, contacts waned off. I attempted to revive them a few times, but there seems to be no interest. I proposed her to a date a few times in vain.

Of course... nothing happened at all. I became incredibly bitter with all of them.

Today I saw a story on the brothers' "random stuff" instagram account. They were all high on weed, and they were all talking about having lots of sex this new year's eve. I had an incredibly strong gut reaction, and I silenced their stories and posts. They're not blocked. They can still see me, but I cannot see them.

And this might sound very silly and pathetic, but I was planning on sending Holidays messages to all of them. As days passed, I reconsidered. Why talk to a wall if nothing will come out of it? I'm better off giving my energy to something responsive, or so goes my thinking.

First, I need to put that distance to preserve my mental health. It's very possibly entirely on me, my expectations, my own moral code. But I've been battling with what some people call "moral rigidity". Other than the delusion and the disappointed of the person I'm attracted to being so crass and so openly stating the desire of having sex with other people. I need to understand if I'm being the ethical asshole in this story. If I'm missing the point entirely. If I'm clinging to a specific set of views or interpretations that make everything in my inner life a lot worse than it is.

So I asked the question: "I need to know if I am the one who needs to change his outlook on things".
I got 30.4.6

What do you think? I'm writing this on a haste, and I just can't interpret this reading right now. But it does seem like the I-Ching deliberately scolding me.

 

[Trojina]

You got plenty of replies on this one but you must have forgotten to look

Relationship reading

Hello everyone. I've written here some months ago. Well, I didn't develop anything with my love interest yet, and things are getting quite frustrating and sad for me. I asked the following question: "Is waiting for her to show real interest and keeping a low profile the only way forward?" I...

www.onlineclarity.co.uk

Someone there wrote you an incredibly long reply, must have taken them ages.

 

[Euphon]

It's a different question, this isn't about her. It's about me. My reactions to things and my outlook on life. I mentioned the situation in specific because I believe it's informative of an overall pattern in my life. The answers on the other question are specific to my attraction, and I did read them. I just didn't have time to answer in detail.

 

[Trojina]

The answers on the other question are specific to my attraction, and I did read them. I just didn't have time to answer in detail.

You had time to use the 'thanks' or 'like' button though? It's helpful just to check you have attended to previous replies in your threads in some way before starting another thread. An interesting comparison that occurs to me often is there is no other situation in life I can think of where one would walk up to a bunch of people, ask them for detailed explanations, take at least 20 minutes of their time each and then just walk off without even a thumbs up.

Also those people have no feedback and no one reading the archives will have any idea of how you received the answer nor of how it worked out. I realise one doesn't always know how something has turned out but people's time here isn't any more disposable than it would be out in the 'real' world.

BTW I know you have gone back to other threads which is why I thought you may have forgotten the one I linked to

 

[my_key]

Hi Euphon

So I asked the question: "I need to know if I am the one who needs to change his outlook on things".
I got 30.4.6

30 <> 6

'Brightness' through 'Contention'

Consider your situation in this matter as if you are floundering in a sea of conflicting thoughts, emotions and arguments which are gradually drifting you towards the beginning of a new understanding (6).

30 is attracting together different aspects of your floundering and gradually amalgamating, after much circling in the whirlpool, a brightness within your inner worlds that will allow you to articulate more coherently an understanding and create a plan in your outer world guiding you in the direction of a new start.

30.4 - speaks to you regarding finding the right road. It indicates that the understanding you are seeking will come suddenly, like the switching on of a light bulb, and will brightly burn and dispel the shadows that have taken up residence in your world. Thus, allowing you to make right and appropriate choices for you that will allow you to leave behind this situation of turmoil.

... of course there may be other interpretations that swim beside you more freely.

Good Luck

 

[Euphon]

@Trojina you're right. I have the bad habit of using the like button pretty much nowhere online. I realize that I could have shown at least a little more appreciation. These times are hectic within and without for me so I easily lose track of things. Not much of a justification, I just want to make it abundantly clear that I appreciate everyone's time spent on my questions.

@my_key I see, it does seem spot on. I get the feeling if that there's one thing I'm always sure of interpreting correctly, it's that the I-Ching is telling me to discipline my inner life, do the work consistently, and focus on my daily chores. To be patient, and consistent, and things will come. Those readings weren't explicit in this question, but implicit in the intention and the context around it. It seems like this hexagram is confirming that I will find that breakthrough if I follow through with that.

I have to admit that love is something that touches a permanently fresh wound in me (and this one was besieged by a set of particularly unfair challenges), but the truth is that I have lots of unrelated accumulated things. Every time one of those fuses lights up, if it reaches the others, it becomes an entirely chaotic and nonsensical explosion of turmoil.

I see some of that understanding right now in me. I did a few more oracle readings (which I won't post here, if not just for one at the end of this comment), bible readings and prayer sessions. I experienced a few synchronistic moments. I listened to a specific song that made me tear up, with headhones, which has a beautiful meaning, and I randomly heard my sister singing it too after a diary session on which I wrote specific things that rang very true to me.

I did one last reading. I imagine some of you will think "goddamn, boy..."
"If I turn my life around with discipline and self-domain, can I have hope for this love?"
This time I got 32.3.5.
Some sentences that stood out during the consultation (notes from multiple sites and books):

Cordiglia: "A time of conflicting thoughts with no logical connection (...) No conclusions, but no bad endings either (...) to realize what we want, we need to put order in our thoughts and change our outlook on life (...) it incites patience, perseverance, occupying the waiting time with what each day requires from you".

Cafe Au Soul "Constance and effort are essential to overcome obstacles. (...) You need benevolence in relationships (...) Calm the turbulent waters of your emotions and hold to your inner consistency (...) emotionalism can waste the energy necessary for endurance. Tame yourself and change as circumstances require."

: "Emotions pass thorugh you but they're not what you turly are. Genuine stability is found by trusting the intuitive quiet voice in your heart (this is particularly interesting). In each moment, give importane to a sense of honor and duty. Following your inner code of ethics will draw the most love out of you".

Gnostic I-Ching + Ritsema + Willhelm "Vacillation and inconsistency threaten the work (...). (This is in the context of line 5, and the role of the inner feminine and masculine) control your emotions and allow reason to make choices. Reason should at all times be flexible and allow itself to be guided by the requirements of the times. Emotions on the other hand must always maintain firm adherence to the principles of moderation and restraint:"

As always, the most consistent element: self-possession. Discipline, patience. Perseverance. I should focus on my own life on the daily, as she's focusing on her own, with her own means. It doesn't look like it's explicitly telling me that "I can hope", not here at least (or maybe it's me developing common sense and stopping to expect particular outcomes, even if the I-ching says otherwise). I think it's telling me "stick to the plan and see". It's not going to be easy, but at the end of it I will grow stronger, and more prepared for what life has in store for me.

During mediation, and during hiking (which I find quite spiritually enrichening), whenever my mind goes to her, and today while I was bringing order to my inner turmoil, I had an inner feeling that "everything will be alright, no need to worry now". So, that's why that sentence about the "quiet inner voice" was interesting to me.

In the end, I will keep them silenced on socials so that I can calm my emotions and not be overwhelmed by negative feelings whenever I see something I don't like. But I will still send them those holydays messages. I just rewrote them so that they're entirely about them. It rings like a good thing to do for me.