really need help to understand this I have experienced 51.2 first hand but this is weird. 51.2.3.5

[Topher]

I had asked what does she feel for me. iching instead advices me what to do? i want to give you some example once I received 51.2 to not act to recover her I had waited the 7days though I had only sent her an email that time a monday. the 7th day was friday and she had unexpectedly due to some unknown force or reason unblocked me(I hadnt sent anything important on that one email) on the 8th day at night. she acted as she didnt do it and then i recovered her. now 51.3 is weird because advices me to act in the view of some event which I dont know what it is. and 51.5 is the usual reaction we have were I get nervous and she gets angry and we push each other buttons...

what is the advice? to not act? to act? 51.2 says to wait but I had planned to call her this week as I had received 63.2 meaning she will lose her hate(she has BPD i am certain) 51.3 says to act to avoid calamity as staying in standstill is a bad idea. and 51.5 is a warning

 

[Topher]

well that took a small amount of time to find out.51.2 obv if I wanted I could wait her to unblock me
51.3 I would get a shock that would change my point of view(happened)
51.5 the reaction from her not related to 51.3 , 51.3 was more of a subproduct from 51.5
now I learned why she isnt the woman I should marry conclusion avoid any relationship described as 4.3...

the funniest thing is how I know even how she would unblock me. she had deleted my phone number so she would delete some people she doesnt recognize the whatsapp picture and then I would be unblocked then miraciously I would believe it was she who unblocked me voluntarily...nope

 

[dfreed]

I guess I'm not really sure what your reading is here - what is your question and what is the Yi's response? You mention, 'what does she feel towards me' and then you share with us 51.2 and 51.2.3.5, and 51.5, 63.2, 51.3 ... and later 4.3 ??? so I'm not really sure what's going on. And what is BPD? And what does it mean, to 'recover her'? You make it sound like she's a damaged hard drive you're trying to recover data from.

 

[Win_Po]

This person seems scared of you. Try and keep to one clear question at a time on your thread and explain first what your relationship with them is.

Then ask, "how should I behave or relate toward them?"
And "what do I need to understand about our relationship at present"

 

[Topher]

This person seems scared of you. Try and keep to one clear question at a time on your thread and explain first what your relationship with them is.

Then ask, "how should I behave or relate toward them?"
And "what do I need to understand about our relationship at present"

she is angry quite angry for what I did. the last time this happened I took 2months and a half writing an email weekly mentioning our friendship the thing here is this time we were closer to a relationship than a friendship and I commit the error of:

1)going to her home without her permision(to ask for her forgiveness) she was self indulgent and denied her mother we had had anything.. and accussed me of harrasing her I left her a whole month a half alone because I was hurt the worst I have been

also for telling her mother the times we dated and how I gave her some gifts. she believed that the origin of the gifts didn't matter so she probably had originally told her mother 'a friend gifted to her' or bought it... plus I believe that the engagement ring she liked somehow in her mind due to selfindulgence assumed that it was a gift.. it was an engagement ring.

I understand that I have betrayed her trust and made her felt bad plus she had to return the gifts I had once given then since I mentioned to her mother.

51.2.3.4 said I should wait but I saw all the truth (51.3) I had texted her a sms(I know it is against 51.2) o I'd have to take 2 weeks if I tried to contact her... anyway i was eye opened with the amount of her (male) friends' visits to my FB profile(not 1 not 2 not 3 not 4 but 5 visits).... if they act like this some sort of interest they had on her... but I will leave things are they are iching always thought she wasnt the right person to have a relationship with I can see now why.

 

[Topher]

I guess I'm not really sure what your reading is here - what is your question and what is the Yi's response? You mention, 'what does she feel towards me' and then you share with us 51.2 and 51.2.3.5, and 51.5, 63.2, 51.3 ... and later 4.3 ??? so I'm not really sure what's going on. And what is BPD? And what does it mean, to 'recover her'? You make it sound like she's a damaged hard drive you're trying to recover data from.

recover her as as in recover the relationship but given the events I can see why I needed to change my view about her (51.3) if I were to go after her I would simply would be blindly believing her deception...

 

[Win_Po]

She doesn't sound like a nice person and remember, her lack of interest in you is no reflection on you as a person so don't take it as a slight on your character. Move on, grow, forgive and enjoy life with kinder people.

 

[Trojina]

If you click on Topher's name you will see at least half a dozen threads with many questions on the same girl, aged 17, mentally ill, online sex worker possibly. She blocks and unblocks him on average 4 times a day is my impression. He, in his twenties, is obsessed with her, buys her gifts she either returns or...has hysterics or does more blocking or whatever and he asks more questions, posts more threads


There's no point just looking at this thread in isolation especially given how many replies have gone before this and been ignored. Don't imagine what you've said hasn't been said 100 times before and at great length !

 

[Trojina]

Previous threads same topic


Unexpected response from the universe. 23.5?11.2.4?32UC? what should I do? | I Ching Community (onlineclarity.co.uk)


38.5.6? | I Ching Community (onlineclarity.co.uk)



Since i have given up I asked for what to do now.also an unrelated 50.1.6 | I Ching Community (onlineclarity.co.uk)


Could someone explain me what happened? 51.1 everything was going alright | I Ching Community (onlineclarity.co.uk)

50.2.5.6 > 31 | I Ching Community (onlineclarity.co.uk)


52.4 for who? for me?her? | I Ching Community (onlineclarity.co.uk)


I don't see how further questions will help, I don't think clarity will be found this way as you are dealing with your own obsession Topher and whether she unblocks you or blocks makes no difference, there's no point in asking about every occasion, you know she is mentally ill, very young and incapable of a mature relationship so why do you persist. At the very least you could try to see her as a child. You call her deceptive and all kinds of names well go and find an adult then, you are years older than her so go find someone your own age.

 

[dfreed]

I can see why I needed to change my view about her (51.3) if I were to go after her I would simply would be blindly believing her deception...

Okay, so it seems that the Yi gave you a very clear answer - that regardless of how she 'feels' towards you this is not a relationship you should pursue. Is that what you get from it too?

How people feel 'towards' us is only a small part of the equation - and in of itself does not mean you will have a healthy, useful, joyful, healing relationship.

 

[Trojina]

@moss elk

already put a huge amount of effort to helping you but you haven't heard him

so it is a bit annoying to see you going on and on trying to get new replies

 

[Topher]

@moss elk

already put a huge amount of effort to helping you but you haven't heard him

so it is a bit annoying to see you going on and on trying to get new replies

I think you havent read that I have opened my eyes. :/ but I couldnt see anything of this because I didnt realize that she doesnt have a have a single love interest funnily I received there was a person going out of the triangle, not sure why, if I was already out the last time i got this she had a fight her ex,and she blocked him,but maybe it was a prediction that by contacting her someone would be getting out of a triangle 'relationship'.Either way, it's not worth the amount of effort if there isn't commitment and respeting that friends arent lovers

 

[Topher]

Okay, so it seems that the Yi gave you a very clear answer - that regardless of how she 'feels' towards you this is not a relationship you should pursue. Is that what you get from it too?

How people feel 'towards' us is only a small part of the equation - and in of itself does not mean you will have a healthy, useful, joyful, healing relationship.

Iching only said I could obtain contact with her (51.2) if I would wait a week and dont contact her.
but I should (51.3) gain better view of the situation (51.3) because I was going to enter in a action-reaction situation where everyone would push each other buttons (51.5) I dont think it answered me how she felt about me, only adviced me what to do. but I think that if I didnt gain awareness that she simply cant maintain a faithful/stable relationship with a single person she wont do it with anyone. because once she started dating her friend while she also wa talking/dating to someone else, then at the time she tried to take advantage of me, asking me for money for studying in a place where she somply studies because she only wanted to feel identified with the person that suggested her to study a totally different carreer to the one she originally really wanted) because she has a fear to not have a career like her parents which didnt study anything , Probably with whoever she was dating (this made me angry I was just waiting to see if she truly wanted the gift I wasnted to give her or just money and I gave her no money).

Events led me to go to her home subconciously prepared to tell her mother about the time we dated and how I loved her but apparently she lied her mother to avoid feeling guilt(self indulgence a symotomp from BPD,which she doesnt acknowledge nor has treatment for, she even tries to bond with people who smoke drugs just to feel identified with someone, then do the same I cant do anything to help her maybe going her mother's house but is it my issue even I appareciate her?)

what would you do?

 

[Trojina]

You need to begin using punctuation, full stops. Your posts are unreadable because it's a jumble of words with no full stops.

This makes no sense at all.....it's just a jumble of words

but I couldnt see this because I didnt realize that as many people she treat she simply doesnt have a single love interest funnily I received there was a person going out of the triangle not sure why if I was already out the last time i got this she fought with someone else but maybe was a prediction by contacting her either way it's not worth the amount of effort if there isn't commitment and respeting that friends arent lovers

Can you see there are no full stops so it's just gibberish.

ut you should (51.3) gain better view of the situation (51.3) because you are going to cause you enter in a action-reaction circumstance (51.5) I dont think it ever replied me how she felt about me only adviced me what to do about her. but I think that if I didnt gain awareness that she simply cant maintain a faithful/stable relationship with a single person she wont do it with one either. because once she started talking to her friend while also talking to someone else and at the same time she tried to take advantage of me asking for money for studying in a place she only studies because she only wanted to feel identified with the person that suggested it, probably with whoever she was dating (this made me angry I was just waiting to see if she truly wanted the gift I wasnted to give her or just money and I gave her no money) events led me to go to her home subconciously prepared to tell her mother about the time we dated and how I loved her but apparently she lied her mother to avoid feeling guilt(self indulgence a symotomp from BPD,which she doesnt acknoledge she has and even tries to bond with people who smoke drugs just to feel identified with someone I cant do anything to help her maybe going her mother's house but is it my issue even I appareciate her?)

That is very very hard to read and so at the very least if you want replies you need to start to make actual sentences.

 

[Topher]

You need to begin using punctuation, full stops. Your posts are unreadable because it's a jumble of words with no full stops.

This makes no sense at all.....it's just a jumble of words


Can you see there are no full stops so it's just gibberish.
That is very very hard to read and so at the very least if you want replies you need to start to make actual sentences.

I have edited it, I had deleted some lines and I had re-written over lines I should have continued

 

[dfreed]

Events led me to go to her home subconciously prepared to tell her mother about the time we dated and how I loved her but apparently she lied her mother to avoid feeling guilt(self indulgence a symotomp from BPD, which she doesnt acknowledge nor has treatment for, she even tries to bond with people who smoke drugs just to feel identified with someone, then do the same I cant do anything to help her maybe going her mother's house but is it my issue even I appareciate her?)

what would you do?

Topher, are you reading your own posts? Even without the Yi, It seems really clear to me what you shouldn't be doing, and there are so many red flags here I don't know where to begin.

And even the Yi says, "shock comes with adversity .... a hundred thousand times one loses possessions, TO NOT GIVE CHASE!" And 'the shock whether going or coming IS TROUBLE!" Between what you've said about you and this person, and what the Yi is saying here, I'm not sure what more needs to be made clear for you.

 

[Topher]

Topher, are you reading your own posts? Even without the Yi, It seems really clear to me what you shouldn't be doing, and there are so many red flags here I don't know where to begin.

And even the Yi says, "shock comes with adversity .... a hundred thousand times one loses possessions, TO NOT GIVE CHASE!" And 'the shock whether going or coming IS TROUBLE!" Between what you've said about you and this person, and what the Yi is saying here, I'm not sure what more needs to be made clear for you.

I KNOW WHAT ICHING SAYS. but i would be in an illusion that I would recover my treasure. but listen she is dating someone else she wouldnt change her mind as she is dating the same person after some weeks so why would unblocking me change anything? I had given a 60.5 the last time 51.2 happened I dont want limitations because she desires. the time i got 51.2 she was asking me to not make this other person go away because reasons... and that isnt recovering my treasure that is being limited to someone's fucked up boundaries. now if I can work my own way I could discover my own path. I believe that maybe 51.3 wanted to change my point of view about her which seemed that many people are after her now I know what i should I do i received 61.5 and 2.2.5>29 when asked what should I do to contact her mother

I want her to know that her daugther needs psychological support and also get rid of dangerous influences...(i dont like that i tend to repeat errors and the 29 on 2.2.5) what do you think I should do about 29? maybe i would repeat the same error talking about her daugther's secrets like the last time when I mentioned that she took a job from a pedophile? 2.2 seem clear to go straight to the point now I received 18.2.5 about proposing to remove her influence with mine. so 18.5 talks about clear my reputation with her mother before offering her a deal to be the person to change the influence on her daugther(since she told me once that smoking weed made her felt paranoid so I would like to speak about it with her mother. my offer would be to try to convince her to take therapy so she cant be influenced by people in general as she tries to copy everyone she is interested in)?

 

[dfreed]

I KNOW WHAT ICHING SAYS. but ... fu_ked up boundaries.

Topher, I won't engage with you any more after this. I think that you have cast yourself as this seriously damaged young woman's knight in shinning armor, which says a a lot about your own 'fu_ked up boundaries'; and that's what you should be focusing on.

Besides that, you are using the Yi as a slot machine -- you think that if you keep pulling the handle enough times, it will give you the answer you want: where you get to swoop in, save the maiden from the dragon, and ride off into the sunset - together - happily ever after. But unfortunately for you (or maybe fortunately?), the Yi, and the Universe, don't work like that.

But given these very same bad boundaries of yours (and no one else's), I have no reason to think you're going to listen to me.

Best ....

 

[Topher]

Topher, I won't engage with you any more after this. I think that you have cast yourself as this seriously damaged young woman's knight in shinning armor, which says a a lot about your own 'fu_ked up boundaries'; and that's what you should be focusing on.

Besides that, you are using the Yi as a slot machine -- you think that if you keep pulling the handle enough times, it will give you the answer you want: where you get to swoop in, save the maiden from the dragon, and ride off into the sunset - together - happily ever after. But unfortunately for you (or maybe fortunately?), the Yi, and the Universe, don't work like that.

But given these very same bad boundaries of yours (and no one else's), I have no reason to think you're going to listen to me.

Best ....

I used iching to solve my issues from my karma apparently I couldnt she loved me at one period but she changed her mind somehow... also I dont see as a knigt with shinning armor there is a different betwen believing you are their only solution and being someone who is willing to help with the solution

 

[Topher]

just a follow up... after what happened she replied to an email from days ago with a not very pleasing...message sh repeated the same that she did when she was angry and I went her home... if she thought I went to her home for her... anyway

i got 58.4 again..
but i wonder why i got 58.1.2 and 58.3.6 asking the same question... why so many 58's? I know 58.3 is probably someone between 2 sort of emotions? and 58.6 who pleases someone out of of manipulation?then why iching suggest me to act as 1.2. or is it describing something... I dont get why it gave me all these answers with the same question they are quite different

 

[dfreed]

I dont get why it gave me all these answers with the same question they are quite different

Hmm, maybe because you're not paying any heed to what the Yi is telling you, and instead you're fishing for what you want the answer(s) to be? That's the best I can figure.

 

[Topher]

Hmm, maybe because you're not paying any heed to what the Yi is telling you, and instead you're fishing for what you want the answer(s) to be? That's the best I can figure.

I reached this conclusion.
58.4 she will contact me. that is always the line for someone contacting one in the future.
58.1.2 from what I read it talks about respecting her opinion)or being harmonious) and expressing my true feellings for her with sincerity and reaching an agreement(a fair deal for both os us...)

58.3.6 is about someone going between 2 sort of emotions or persons and then the joy is only external, a fascade

I could concluse the 58.1.2 si the advice while 58.3.6 describes her emotional state to the question 'What does she feel for me?'I know 58.3 is she trying to decide between 2 emotions o persons(either loving or hating me) and /or decide between me and someone else. I asked the same question and I got 61.6 meaning that what she feels is not what she wants to express. she says she doesnt love me and doesnt seem like I am atractive to her while she told me she wanted me and I seemed cute to her...

59.5.6... she wants someone to tell her pretty things but i should stay away from the things she believes that she doesnt like to hear(curiously 58.1 talks about not causing suspicion... another reading in other post mentioned not being veyr open about something makes sense)

now I wonder what is the deal I should propose to her as 58.1.2 mentions now this is difficult to understand because 53.1.3 >42 sounds like a bad line(53.3) while 42 talks about an increase? of what? what should I talk about to her? 63.3.4.6 taoscopy mentions one wipes out a debt that other are slow to repay...

 

[moss elk]

58.4 she will contact me. that is always the line for someone contacting one in the future.

No, it is not.
Not at all.

You really, truly, do not know what you are talking about. You made that up, and believe it! It is like you tell yourself things, instead of perceiving things.

Maybe a native Spanish speaker can get through to you in a way no one else here has been able to?

But then again, No means No.
And you do not seem to comprehend "No's"
So, maybe no.

 

[Topher]

No, it is not.
Not at all.

You really, truly, do not know what you are talking about. You made that up, and believe it! It is like you tell yourself things, instead of perceiving things.

Maybe a native Spanish speaker can get through to you in a way no one else here has been able to?

But then again, No means No.
And you do not seem to comprehend "No's"
So, maybe no.

Well I mean the last time I got contact with her 58.3,4 I got to talk to her the last time I got 58.4 was before sending the email that I thought would be the last one and I received a response from her. I wasnt even asking about the email just what she felt instead iching answered I would get an approach from her in the future Anyway I have never asked about if she will contact me also 58.4 could be interpreted in a different way I know but in the readings I have had they meant an approach from someone in the future also based on the translation http://www.iching123.com/58_text.htm

there is no possible way I could mediate between her and I ... I cant be both judge and part

 

[moss elk]

 

[Topher]

...

Ok I might have confused 58.3 with 58.4 they have similar translation but I know that I received 58.3.4 when I got contact with her probably was 58.3 maybe I should have recalled I had gotten 58.4 days ago and try to mediate between her and I but like I said I had asked this a while ago I was focused in my job and I had even forgotten I had even sent her anything and I didnt recall the iching's reply until i wrote this post.. anyway if there is contact I will let you know

Also I reckon that 58.3.6 means something entirely different to try not get to get joy from external things that are just deceptive and made to please one. but stilll that wasnt what i asked so I tried to give it a contact

 

[moss elk]

anyway if there is contact I will let you know.

He thinks someone here wants to hear of contact with her...

 

[dfreed]

Ok I might have confused

Yes, you were confused and obviously that has not changed. So, I think this is what the Yi is telling you:

"Yes, you are addicted emotionally and sexually to this damage person. You are also are damaged, maybe even more damaged than she is. You keep lying to yourself and others, saying that all you want to is help or 'fix' her, but that's not true. You keep manipulating the Yi to give you the answers you want to hear. So go ahead: keep being involved with her, call her, text her, have sex with her, take drugs with her, talk to her mom, try to fix her; especially since no one here can convince you otherwise."

I think that's the best advice I can offer you right now.

 

[Topher]

Yes, you were confused and obviously that has not changed. So, I think this is what the Yi is telling you:

"Yes, you are addicted emotionally and sexually to this damage person. You are also are damaged, maybe even more damaged than she is. You keep lying to yourself and others, saying that all you want to is help or 'fix' her, but that's not true. You keep manipulating the Yi to give you the answers you want to hear. So go ahead: keep being involved with her, call her, text her, have sex with her, take drugs with her, talk to her mom, try to fix her; especially since no one here can convince you otherwise."

I think that's the best advice I can offer you right now.

I dont want to fix her as and I have never wanted to fix anyone people arent objects, also people should seek help when they see their issue plux
she does what she wants
she clearly stated I should stay away from her
her mother believes God will magically help her to change her live I dont think you could perceive that things have changed quite a lot since the other post, basically before I thought I could help her but I was then too distracted with my selfish needs to have her in my life that i forgot one of the reasons I tried to get her contact back once I found how she played with me sadly (for her ) I am not a puppet or a toy and I reacted negatively but I guess that saved me from being used